Guilt is eating me alive.

I’m 30, still living with my parents for economic reasons. We have a good relationship. All my life they have been supportive and loving, with the ups and downs. We aren’t perfect, we argue and squabble and make up and move on.

And it’s strangling me. The nagging has been piling up. The love is getting spoiled by this resentment growing like a weed. I often catch myself thinking “God, I can’t wait for them to die already so I can live in peace” and then I feel just horrible. I want to die just because of how often I’ve come to think that. I’ve taken to hurting myself whenever I have those thoughts just to try and stop them from occurring.

I will be devastated if either of them die. And yet I’m scared that I really won’t.

One thought on “Guilt is eating me alive.

  1. Move out, it’s not healthy to live with your parents when you’re an adult. They’ll continue to treat you like a child, and you’ll behave like one. You’re also less likely to become successfully professionally. When you have rent/mortgage and bills, you push harder for promotions and better jobs. When you live at home, you will coast professionally because life is easier economically. Suck it up, put your big girl panties on and get your own place.

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