FAMILY IS NOT WHAT I EVER IMAGINED
Posted by black sheep in Family on Nov 22nd, 2010 | 1 commentI feel guilty but at the moment… I ******* HATE MY FAMILY.
Everything I ever believed about “family” is upside down & I am so confused. If I ring to talk to my mother for support all I get is shit thrown in my face..
The other day I called and again it descended into her attacking me and saying I am not her daughter anymore.
I have never killed anyone, im not a drug addict or an alcoholic (which my father was before he died 10 months ago) or a gambler (like my mother is) yet anything & everything I do is wrong.
Apparently the sun shines directly from my younger sister and she can do no wrong even when she does do wrong.
I always thought family was there for each other through thick & thin. But since my dad died.. Ive been attacked from everywhere and blamed for everything and am the worst person in the world.
Its like I am not a person or important or have feelings. My sister has two kids & in process of divorce, I dont have any (yet – still single) so I am nothing and worth nothing and how hard is my sisters life is.
Yet neither my mother or sister call me to ask how I am. My sister never calls me so the kids can talk to me. Im always chasing to get hold of anyone. I understand they are busy, but I am busy too, but I make an effort and just get shit on. I never get pictures sent to me that my nephew drew in kinder, I never get acknowledgment that I am a person too. I just never get any acknowledgement. There is so many issues and I am the one that is made out to be the bad sheep and even this doesnt explain anything… but I just want to confess how I really feel about how my family is so ****** up and get it off my chest…
One Response to “ “FAMILY IS NOT WHAT I EVER IMAGINED”
Leave a Reply
Subscribe
I feel your pain hon…as someone who hasn’t had a relationship with my mom and most of my siblings for almost 10 years, I can relate…I finally learned to accept the things I cannot change. We cannot control how others behave, but we can control how we behave. Don’t let them take your power away. Don’t let them make you miserable and question whether you did something wrong and how you can get their approval. We can’t pick our family, but we can pick our friends. Try to surround yourself with good people and make them your family. Stop chasing your mom, your sister…stop begging for their attention. There comes a time when you get tired of being humiliated and stepped on and crapped on. I know the feeling all too well. They behave this way because they are unhappy…they are frustrated and you are their punching bag. Try to live a good life…you did the best you could…you repeatedly reached out to them and the rest is up to them. Will they ever change?? Most likely not. Focus on creating a great life for yourself and if they don’t want to be part of it, then it’s their loss. Yes, it hurts deeply coming to terms with all of this, but in the end, you will come out stronger. Peace be with you.