My wife wanted kids. I hate children but figured “how bad could it be?” and I thought I loved her. Now I have 2 kids which I wish were never born, a job to support the family that I don’t despise, and a wife who I sometimes love and sometimes just want away from. In truth, the peace of death it’s far preferable to the existence that I made for myself, yet I am the only one to blame, but even that would only harm the innocent family that I’ve made. I truly feel beyond helpless. Life is nothing but self hatred and depression and rage but death would cause worse. There is no way out. No solution. I’m truly destined to live in torment for the rest of my life and there’s not a good damned thing I can do about it without causing more suffering.