Dear Dad

For years I let you manipulate me into hating my mother. I hated her for most of my childhood because of you. You seperated from her time and again, only to beg for her back each time. I didn’t know anything except for what you had told me. I didn’t believe anything she said. When I was 17 that changed.

She began to tell be all about what you had been doing. Your so called ‘morals’, you sell weed and pills to my older sister. You don’t smoke it but you buy it by the pound. You pop pills just to make it through the day. When I was nine I was locked out of our house because you had passed out on the couch from drugs. You dropped my off at my grandmother’s so that you could go party.

When money issues arose, you begged my mom to come home. You said that I needed a mother. And she came home, every time, for her children.

Years later, after dealing with your anger issues everyday and slowly bonding with my mother I find the oppurtunity to move out. When you left my mother for someone 20 years younger than youself. I stayed with mom for as long as I could, but I had to leave. For myself. You introduce me to your new woman. I’m in shock. My mother is beautiful. Always has been. This woman, she is a dog. All she cares about is your ‘money’.

Mom shows me text messages from you about drugs, and she cries. She wanted her family back in one piece. Against my advice she takes you back. I become angry with her. You tell me you want to leave again. You aren’t paying her bills anymore if you aren’t there either. “I’ll move home.” I tell you. “I’ll pay her bills. And if I can’t, would you let me live in the dark?” You say nothing. My mother finally realizes that you aren’t needed. She kicks you out. And without you knowing, she filed for divorce today. She’s stronger than she ever has been. After talking to her, and everyone else around me, for the first time I feel as though the fog has cleared. I see you for what you really are. You stole from my mother and I. And we are taking it back.

It hurts me to think of my life without you. I love you, and have always been your little girl. But I won’t let my mother be wronged by you anymore. Your gone again, with another woman and her child. You tell my mother you always try to call me. There are no missed calls on my phone. You still trying to use me against her, but no more.