Suicide

I’m 16. I’ve had extremely severe anxiety and depression all my life. I’ve talked to countless doctors, councilors, therapists, psychiatrists, and I’m only getting worse. I dropped out of school 3 years ago and am still behind. I don’t have friends and I don’t want to have friends. The closest thing I’ve ever had to a father was an abusive step-dad who I lived with for most of my life. I can’t do anything on my own, I don’t leave the house. I clean all day long. Everyday. I just want it to end. I’ve been having thoughts of suicide every single night for over 5 years now. I’m not going anywhere in life and I really don’t want to. The only thing keeping me alive is my boyfriend who a lot of the time I wish I had never met because I couldn’t do that to him. I don’t know what to do. There’s no one I can talk to about this. I need help. I need it to end.

3 thoughts on “Suicide

  1. I understand what you’re going through. I’m 14 and the only reason I’m not gone already is because I couldn’t do it to my little sister. I wish I were gone. You’re not alone. I know this isn’t helpful (probably the opposite) but please try to get help. I’ve tried. You should too. <3

  2. Just know you are never alone. I cannot tell you how many times i just wanted it to end. I felt worthless. I was judged for who my family was and in my whole life, I never had a friend. I grew up to everyone telling me they hated me. the only way to save myself was that I found peace with God and realized that he could use me even when the world thought nothing of me. Ever since then, God has given me a man who loves me, a future plan, and with hope a happy family. You are 16 and You have a beautiful life ahead of you. I know what you are going through Is bad, but it can only get better. Just keep your head up. You never know whats coming unless you try. Jesus died on the cross because he loved you so much, he would want you to live the life he gave. I know Religion isn’t everyone’s way out but I hope you can find yours.

  3. You don’t have to feel.this way, I don’t want to tell you I know how your feeling because I don’t. No one really does understand the feeling of being trapped the heavy weight you physically feel every time you move. I was sexually abused when I was younger and my mother response was to lock me in the house with no contact with the outide world. It destroyed me. Why am I telling you this? Because I thought I was done, dead on the inside wanting to be dead completely, but then one moment was all it took one moment and one choice. I left, I got my chance and ran. She tried to stop me sitting my exams, I chose them over my ‘family’ and she threw me out. Now I have two beautiful children, my partner who loves me completely and does every he can for me and a loving home. Never give up, never just accept what’s around you, wait for your chance because it will come and when it does you never know where you’ll be; chances are you’ll be so much happier x

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