My dream is too far fetched? … I’m thirteen I might have depression

I really want to be an intelligence officer for ASIS (Australian Secret Intelligence Service) Thats all I want in life. It is controlling everything I do grades, work ethic and health. I think I have severe depression. My parents are really involved in church and I feel like I never be able to make the decision to become a Christian if they keep dragging me to church things they want to because I want to go because I want to go. My best friend is 18 and she has a best friend and even though she is my best friend I feel like I’m not hers. My dad has anger issues and has hit me a few times. One day we got in a fight and he ended up grabbing me by the wrist and squeezing me not letting me go he had a mug of something in the other so I started kicking him. I really want to start boxing but I’m afraid of people but I NEED to hit something. I have lost so much weight and I don’t much only dinners. I have cut a few times. I don’t want anybody’s pity so I don’t tell anyone not a soul. These secrets die with me.

One thought on “My dream is too far fetched? … I’m thirteen I might have depression

  1. Hey, sorry no one else has commented. You have a lot here, I’ll take it bit by bit.

    It’s okay to know what you want to do and go for it, but you are 13 and you have an ambitious, long term goal which sucks for depression. Cut it up into smaller goals, and celebrate the victories along the way. Even if you don’t make it into the Service, you’ll still have a great record.

    Yes, if you are cutting occasionally and not eating, you have depression. Talk to your parents about it, see if you can talk with a therapist or pastor about it, and get some meds if necessary. I did, and it helps a ton. I recommend the therapist since they are formally trained, but your parents might be more comfortable with a pastor. In that case, you can talk religion as well. Efficiency.

    13 to 18 is only a small gap in terms of time, but a massive one in terms of life position. It’s not really appropriate for this to be your best peer relationship, because you aren’t really peers. It’s fine to be friends, but best friends is an unreasonable expectation to place in this person. Making new friends is hard, especially with depression, but it might be one of the best things for you to do right now.

    Your dad hitting you is definitely something to talk to a therapist/pastor about. They should know what to do.

    Training is actually a great way to vent aggression and learn self control. I advise Jiu-Jitsu or some mixed martial arts, just my preference over simply standing there and punching one another, but to each his own. Bare minimum, some form of exercise is good for you. I find I’m in a better general disposition, and I eat better, when I exercise regularly.

    Not telling anyone is exactly how you wind up splattered all over the concrete, or worse, wandering around listlessly with this cancer eating your soul for the next dozen years or so. Don’t try to white knuckle your way through it, just “be strong” or some other foolish hyper masculine bullshit. Or kangaroo shit, or platypus, or whatever brand of shit you guys have in Australia. Probably still bull, you have a lot of cows down there. A real man knows his limits, and calls for help when he needs it.

    Best of luck

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