The only time I’m happy or interested in anything is when I’m drunk.
Don’t know how old you are now but you need another outlet, drunk or not.
Have you tried online friendship?
You can do what you like anonymously.
I know exactly how you feel. I am the same. I started drinking aged 15 in 1984, stopped between late 1994 and early 2007 but have not stopped since. It is midday here and I started this morning at about 7am and am going out this afternoon to get more whisky having drunk 70cl bottle in last 20 hours. My heart is aching as one of the few friends I have ever had hates me and I feel so ashamed. The only thing that dulls the pain is alcohol. I just wish I had the chance to say sorry to her and thank her for all the kindness she showed me & be able to wish her well, and I could move on. But without that chance. I am sinking. To quote Marillion, I’m still drowning, clutching at straws.
It doesnt have to be that way
I’ve met someone that has confessed the same thing you have and it breaks my heart to know that, that’s your case… I generally hope you find another way to fulfill happiness. ♥
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