Just waiting to die

When someone commits suicide, everyone says “if only they said something” or “if only they sought help”
Well I’ve been wishing for death for the last 12 months and trying to get help for the better part of 6 months. A colleague asked me what I was doing for lunch. I responded “walking into oncoming traffic” and they responded with “enjoy” without batting an eyelid. They didn’t think it was a joke, they just didn’t listen.
R U OK day is a crock of shit. People don’t care about other people unless someone is watching.
I’ve tried to get help and nobody seems to think I’m worth even listening to. I can’t do much more than what I’ve done.
I’ve tried to live. I’m done with it now. Let’s not blame those that commit suicide for not trying harder. When society keeps pushing the narrative that you are not worth anything, despite your best efforts, you can’t go on like that forever.

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