I’m exhausted and I just want it all to end

I am 21 years old and I’m working to take care of my mother and bf. My bf can’t work because of certain issues and my mom isn’t earning enough to even pay rent. I know I should be there for them and I am whenever I can, but I’m giving my whole life away for them and it’s just so exhausting that I’m thinking of suicide. The only thing keeping me alive is the knowledge that those I love would not survive without me. If I am to die, I don’t want to drag others down with me. Especially not those I love the most. But I constantly think about it. The stress is killing me. I just want all of this to end. I’m not sleeping enough because of my work and I’m not enjoying life at all. But what can I do? I’m at my limit but…I can’t even choose to kill myself.

13 thoughts on “I’m exhausted and I just want it all to end

  1. First, drop the lazy boyfriend. I get taking care of Mom, but you are too young to have a boyfriend that can’t work. His life is going nowhere and now you are letting him take you with him. He needs to find his own path, but he is just kicking dirt on yours. It will get better.

  2. Don’t commit suicide. Trust me, it’s not worth it. I say that you should get a savings account for travel or just something for you. You don’t have to invest everything in it. Just put a little bit in after getting paid, and then treat yourself at the end of the month. Or, if you can’t afford it, (which is perfectly fine) I suggest that you should take time for yourself. While you are getting ready for the day, eat a granola bar or an orange for breakfast and take a walk to release stress. Listen to music and just try not to dwell on certain things. When you get ready for bed, use some calming aroma scents to soothe you and your worrisome mind. At work, try not to think so much about problems and just think about good, calming things. I don’t know if this is helpful or not, but I hope that I helped. I wish the best for you.

  3. Dear Friend,
    Don’t every harm yourself – it won’t solve anything. Instead, try to balance your life and get into therapy. Get some rest and take time out for you. Try also to allow your mother and BF to do their part. Take care now.

  4. I know “hang in there” seems so trite, but that’s really all you can do. I was in a similar situation. My wife hadn’t worked for years and I thought of suicide for months at a time. It was just so stressful carrying the burden. I had good days, but they were few and far between. Just know that things will change. Really, hang in there, and eventually you’ll break out of this routine. Also, decide if that bf is worth hanging on to. If he’s lazy or treats you poorly, you need to ditch him.

  5. Hey
    You are really strong person and caring and I know sometimes being caring is disadvantage because no matter how hard you work or try to do everything for your loved ones they don’t appreciate because they don’t understand how it is .you need to talk to them and explain that it’s hard on you shouldering all the responsibility.And never think of ending your life because everything that happened in life is temporary and will eventually change keep going believe in yourself you are stronger than you think.

  6. I feel bad for you. First of all..i am not a therapist but feel I can give good advice. You need to tackle one thing at a time. First your mom. Have the both of you tried everything in your power to get her all the help shes entitled to? I’m taking about assistance and stuff like that. I would talk to a social worker or someone from the state that might guide you in the right direction regarding programs to help your mom. You can help your mother to a certain point but you deserve to live your own life. Now your boyfriend. Why are you stuck to him and helping him to the point that you are so sad and hopeless…thinking that death is the only answer? This is a problem. Again – you can help him if you want but you also deserve to be happy, to live a fulfilled life with someone you truly love. Think about why you are with him and if you want to continue this relationship. Without knowing his situation it sounds like he may also need some type of assistance. I speak from experience. I had a partner once that always needed help with everything. It got old and I decided to leave. It was hard but I did it and realized that they did not help themselves as much as they should have. I moved on and my life was much better after that. I discovered that the person was dragging me down with them. Think about it and make some decisions. Then don’t look back regardless what you decide. Most importantly, dont take your own life. Your situation is one that CAN be fixed. You have so much to offer. Good luck.

  7. Hi,

    It’s not worth killing yourself for that. I think you need to have a conversation with them and tell them what you’re going through. Life is tough for many people in various degrees and know that you aren’t alone. Pray to God if you believe in God, meditate, try affirmations, but please don’t throw away your precious life. Quit your job if you have to so you can pursue a more creative and comfortable means of living even if it means doing small and simple things like your own burger stand, etc.

  8. I have felt like that most of my life. I’m 50. I find one little thing to get me through the day. I hate the holidays. My father died a few weeks ago and I found my only support, my girlfriend has been cheating on me. I mean damn she couldn’t give me time to mourn my dad. I want to die but I also want to live. I love life and its a daily struggle but I have survived and so will you. Be strong and take it one day at a time.

  9. Stay strong. Talk to them!!!!!

    Yes they won’t like it and yes they’ll probably have a go at you and make you feel bad. But tell yourself that whatever they’re feeling it’s a damn sight better than having to bury you.

    On the other hand they might tell you how much you mean to them. Even if they don’t say it you are their hero. Take it from me. You’re a good person and the world would be a worse place without your love and care

  10. I had a friend who lost his wife and mother recently after a couple of years of full time care…there are resources out there. Try to find friends that can help. If you do not have any good friends, try to get out and make the connections and also just try to find time for yourself. I actually know of three other people with spouses or family with severe issues like this too. Take care of your self!!! If something happens with you, it impacts everyone. And the bottom line, you afre the only person that can decide what happens. Good luck!!!

  11. You are a responsible person. I remember how stupid I was when I was of your age. I was not earning enough, my parents had to support me but anyway it worked.
    I see you love your bf and your mom very much and I’m sure they love you too in the same way, It’s a difficult difficult time but it would eventually pass. You need to think a bit less emotionally, think of how to cut your expenses, how to survive in lesser money so that you won’t have to work overtime. Maybe try getting into a lesser expensive house, if you three are not living together get a common place, ask your mom to look for a better, a bit more paying job. I don’t know how you would do this but these are financial problems, you can solve it… You have to think more logically.
    We all have faced money issues at some point of our lives but life goes on, all one need to do I go somehow survive the hard time – I know it’s easier to say than done.

    And you don’t live only for others, you have a life of your own too, and you deserve to have a better life. You have responsibility towards your mother because she has given you life but I don’t think you owe anything towards your boyfriend. Two people are too much of responsibility, you can think of leaving your boyfriend, atleast for a time when you sort out your life. It’s not rude, it’s not selfish, it’s just that it’s your life and you deserve to have a better one.

  12. suicide is a bad option. honestly dont. i may not know so much abt the world and everyone in it but everyone feels like u do at some point in their life including me and someday u will realize that life is too precious to end

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.