I’m exhausted and I just want it all to end

I am 21 years old and I’m working to take care of my mother and bf. My bf can’t work because of certain issues and my mom isn’t earning enough to even pay rent. I know I should be there for them and I am whenever I can, but I’m giving my whole life away for them and it’s just so exhausting that I’m thinking of suicide. The only thing keeping me alive is the knowledge that those I love would not survive without me. If I am to die, I don’t want to drag others down with me. Especially not those I love the most. But I constantly think about it. The stress is killing me. I just want all of this to end. I’m not sleeping enough because of my work and I’m not enjoying life at all. But what can I do? I’m at my limit but…I can’t even choose to kill myself.

2 thoughts on “I’m exhausted and I just want it all to end

  1. I know “hang in there” seems so trite, but that’s really all you can do. I was in a similar situation. My wife hadn’t worked for years and I thought of suicide for months at a time. It was just so stressful carrying the burden. I had good days, but they were few and far between. Just know that things will change. Really, hang in there, and eventually you’ll break out of this routine. Also, decide if that bf is worth hanging on to. If he’s lazy or treats you poorly, you need to ditch him.

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