I want to die

I have everything. A wife, kids, house, high paying job. My wife and I never have sex. I hadn’t put with my kids all weekend long…. But i want to die. I once was hospitalized for 6 weeks for an injury and it was one of the most relaxing time in my life. . Not a care in the world. I slept as much as i wanted. My wife said I looked more healthy in there than at home. I fantasize about getting a terminal illness….. Cuz that would be an honorable way to go. And….. My death would be predictable. I could make a list of what my last year would entail. Im just so tired of getting up every day. I told my wife once flippantly… “I wanna kill myself” She didn’t care in the heart of that moment…… “If that makes you wanna kill yourself you have real problems”….. Thats what she said. Please let me sleep. I’m exhausted. I want my kids…. I guess divorce could help. But right now it’s hard to imagine surviving the pain in the ass a divorce would be.

6 thoughts on “I want to die

  1. As someone who is suicidal, you have a reason to live, something I wish I had. You have problems so fix them. You have children so raise them. You have a wife so love her. Try to fix that sexless problem. Make her a fancy dinner go the extra mile. No. Go the extra ten miles. It would be hipacritical of me to say to not kill yourselve given my knife in my hands as I write this but at least try and if you fail and feel like you wanna die. The rope, knife, and, poison are waiting. But I must ask for you to TRY. I don’t know why I wrote this. You’re probably already ok. And by the time you read this…I’m probably dead…

  2. I know exactly how this feels. I feel the same. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I’m not angry at any one particular person, I just want it to end. Some days. It used to be all the time. All the time. A pounding thought, over and over and over; I just want to not exist anymore.

    I started seeing a therapist and I got a prescription for some anti depressants. I had to get the dose increased twice, I sometimes feel fatigued, and my sex drive is reduced. I don’t care, because the pounding isn’t there anymore. The therapist is helping me identify the loops that got me here, and learning how to manage bad days, because they do still happen. Reduced, in frequency and severity, but they still happen. It’s so much better for me now.

    Get help. It’s not just in your head, it’s a real I’m balance that’s driving you down. It’s not weak to admit to yourself you have a problem, and need help to fix it. Do it for your kids, your wife, yourself.

  3. Dear Friend,

    If you are not in therapy, please consider getting into it soon. Wanting to harm yourself will not solve any of your problems. When these thoughts come again to you, go to your nearest hospital emergency room.
    Take care – your life will eventually improve and you will solve your problems.

  4. You need to talk to a professional or someone you trust. I dont think all these is worth taking your life for. Dont. People care. You just have to find them.

    1. Professionals dont help they desert you and leave you to cope alone in my experience and iv screamed so loud for help everywhere ,who do you go to when you have no one .

  5. imagine how your kids would feel without you, imagine if you did go through with it and then something happened to youyr wife, how would the kids be then? Dont do it there has to be a way through it all. A better way

    1. When kids see the pain a parent is going thru and dont know what to do ,would it not be better to end a life ,thats what I keep asking myself ,if my guilt over hurting them means I have to continue to live this evil life or would they eventually understand that I was free once dead of all the years of pain in my head, these are the questions I keep asking myself ,if no health service can be bothered to help me then who do I turn too….

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