Hiding my Depression

I have been hiding my severe depression. Before, I used to post about it and talk to my friends and family about it. But being treated pitifully and questions like “Are you okay?” or “What’s happening to you?” doesn’t really help my depression at all – they only remind me of it.

It’s getting worse. On the outside I try not to show anything, so nobody knows what’s happening to me.

No one.

Maybe one day, they’ll be shocked if I kill myself. I did seem ok after all.

13 thoughts on “Hiding my Depression

  1. You probably shouldn’t do that, shouldn’t hide your feelings and stuff. You should, instead, communicate the fact that their constant barrage of over-protective concern is actually increasing your depression. A big part of dealing with depression can be distraction from your emotional states, and you should make them aware of this. Let them know that you need space to just feel what you feel, and that if you’re feeling bad, and want to talk about it, you’ll come to them. Let them know that as much as they want to check up on you, you really need not to feel pressured into reassuring them. YOU are the one who is suffering an illness. They need to accommodate you when possible; not demand that you constantly make them feel better about their discomfort with your condition. Nobody would ask a cancer patient to reassure them. Nobody should ask someone who suffers depression to reassure them, either.

  2. I totally get it. I also have depression and is hiding it. I used to talk to my friends and family about it but it only got worse. Now, i hide it away from everyone. I was suicidal. I had those thoughts everyday. But now that i look back on it, i dont think suicide makes it better. I get that you want to be released from your pain, but there are things you could do to keep your mind off of it. Eg. I listen to music alot. But not suicidal songs or stuff like that… i hope you dont kill yourself… its cheesy, but things get better. I personally experienced it. And also, find someone you can talk to… that usually helps.

  3. I overdosed on Tylenol a few months ago, so I spent 3 days in the hospital on suicide watch. My family visited me on and told me to “never do that again”, “we love you” etc… I left later with my family went home.

    Literally everything was the same, nothing changed at all. My brother tells my to go try and kill myself again every time he gets mad. My mom doesn’t even bother to stop him. I’m seriously going to just do it again but not back out, just to prove a point.

    If you plan to just make sure to do the job all the way. Overdosing isn’t that bad. Some stomach pains, cold sweat, and throwing up. But its not that bad. I only took 18 the first time so I’ll try to go to 26 or even 30.

    It doesn’t get better.

  4. Anne’s comment was spot on it’s not that I hate anyone during my depression. I just don’t trust anyone at all with how I’m doing, I’ve been tricked into thearapy by people I thought I loved and now I live in a cave of silence with my emotions. It’s a rather lonely and scary thing being depressed, got a hug from a strange old lady the other day, couldn’t tell her it was the highlight of my week. Just needed a tiny bit of love without judgement. Just know your not alone for what it’s worth.

  5. dont kill yourself . you are enduring it well up until now. endure it again and over again. also, try searching for more methods on how to handle your depression effectively. different people, have different ways.

  6. Based on my experiences, I’m sure there’s at least one person who isn’t asking you if you’re okay out of pity, but just to know where you are in your experiences and act accordingly. If you think you’ve got at least one person who’s doing that, they’ll be the company you need. Usually they already know how bad it is without you knowing they do, and they just stand watch for when you gotta vent. Usually the worst time to be alone is when you want to be alone. This coming from someone with long-term depression. Also try and talk to a professional about this. Sometimes it isn’t just your thoughts but chemical.processes in the brain. I’m assuming you want to take steps to get better? Find someone to update whats going on with you and try to talk to a proefessional. Don’t let yourself wallow too much. Come up for air now and again. These are things I was told when I was in your shoes and I am only passing it along. It’ll help, if you let it.

  7. All right, okay. First, never kill yourself – it will not solve your problems at all. Your loved may suffer and never understand why. Secondand last,
    what would it mean to tell others that you’re depressed, and get help for yourself? Take care and let us know how you’re doing.

  8. Talk to a professional. Take up a sport. It helped me a lot. Don’t take up medication, it will just slow you down more. And dance. Dance non stop for at least one song every single day.
    And the other people in your life, they treat you pitifully because it’s the only way they know how. They are clueless in how to deal with the situation as much as you are, and that is why you need to talk to a professional. There is nothing wrong in getting help.
    Also, of course they care, that is they are asking you about it. It was brave of you to talk to everyone about it frankly.
    I still have bad days, like really bad ones. But I have gotten an idea as to how to deal with it, and that has made it a lot easier for me, knowing I can ride it out.
    In the end, only you can save yourself.

  9. Life is so mental, sometimes im convinced it cant possibly be real. The way i see it theres no point in killing yourself

  10. I totally get what you meant, Boy. I’ve been in this dark pit of hell for more than 2 years. And once I’ve told my mom that I was depressed she did soothe me but a week later, she asked me in front of my little siblings, “How are you? Still depressed?”. That made me feel like I can’t trust her anymore. It’s not easy to tell anyone about this, because they’ll either pretend to care or avoid you. But hang on, man. You’ve lived until now, and I’m proud of you. That’s all that matter, right? That you’re still hanging on despite the dark thoughts looming over you, closer than your veins.

    And if you feel like you can’t trust people in your real life, try search for friends on internet, or some websites. They’re usually kinder and more understanding than anyone in your life could ever been.

    Stay strong, friend. You’ll going to get through this

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