Who I am
Posted by Hollins in Confused on Apr 27th, 2011 | 13 commentsI am a 19 year old girl. I am bisexual. I am Catholic. These things can’t live in harmony, no matter how desperately I want them too. So now I am stuck. Do I stay with the religion that I believe in but that doesn’t support me, or do I follow my heart and turn my back on God? There is no one I can talk to.
It would all be so much easier if I was normal. God already cursed me with depression. Why has he given me another cross?
13 Responses to “ “Who I am”
Leave a Reply
Subscribe
You are normal, for you. While the Catholic church may not support you being bisexual, it doesnt mean that you are not normal. I am not religious or bisexual for that matter but i do know that you are perfectly normal. If you believe that god is one that will not accept you for who you are, then maybe you need to view what god means to you. do you think that he would be angry because of who you love? You are normal :) and dont let the church tell you any different
There is a book that you need to go read. It will answer all of your questions:
Conversations with God Book 1. Author is Neale Donald Walsh.
Please trust me… I was in a similar situation and this book changed my life.
Don’t put your hopes in the Church, but in Christ himself.
I am not so sure that you are not normal. Real people struggle with real things everyday.
Seek help first for the depression with a qualified counselor – worry about the rest later. One thing at a time – One day at a time.
I’m not Catholic and not really religious at all, really. I just have what I think is a simple point of logic: God and the Catholic Church are not the same thing. I would encourage you to think of it as more than just an either/or choice between being bisexual and being godly.
You have a lot of learning about yourself and about life ahead of you. I suggest you look into other religious communities that are more accepting of sexual diversity. I bet some of those are even Catholic! I suggest you read up on the history of Christianity and see how it has treated sex very differently over the centuries. Sorry, this requires homework. Please don’t use prayer as a substitute for thinking.
Have both. There are churches that support all lifestyles.
Turning your back on the Catholic church is not turning your back on God, despite what my family may try to tell me. We all love the same God, I believe we just worship differently.
Are you familiar with John 3:16-18? God loves the ENTIRE world and He does not judge you. There are many denominations you can explore and everystudent.com might give you some answers too :)
You do not have to choose between God and your sexuality. There are many people who struggle with this like you and I believe He has given you these experiences for a reason. I think that you can be a voice of encouragement to others in who struggle with this conflict. As you are overcoming this obstacle in your life, I hope you can later look back and not see it as a cross, but a blessing to encourage others to pursue God and pride in their sexuality!
Just like the other person said, God and the Catholic Church are not the same thing. I’m gay and Catholic, and to be honest, I’m still coming to terms with everything, its a process, but I’m working through it. The way I look at it, God is God, with or without the Catholic Church, I just go to a Catholic Church. Some churches are more welcoming than others. I doubt you’ll find a Catholic Church where they say “We love LGBT people!” but there are churches that don’t discriminate. Just look for a church where you feel comfortable, and you don’t have to choose, you can have God and be bi. Take care
Think for 5 minutes about how much better your life would be without God. The concept of God is a myth. What you’re violating are the social standards of your heritage, and that’s difficult. But you’re not going to burn in Hell for it, and the truth is, God has never burdened you with a cross… because he doesn’t exist.
What you’re experiencing is called “life”. You better learn to enjoy it and make the most of it… because it’s the only one you’re ever going to get.
special needs is right. there is no god.
Time to get out of your dark ages mindset.
religion was invented in the dark ages – to keep the great unwashed masses of poor folk in line.
The bible is superstition.
It is not a sin to be bisexual in orientation. I am Catholic. I have known that I am attracted to women (as well as men) since I was 5 years old. My first experience of sexual arousal involved looking at a picture of a bikini-clad woman in a swimsuit calendar.
However, for Catholicism, it is indeed sinful to act on your desires for the same sex. For a Catholic, going to another church isn’t what you do – you can’t pick and choose what you like and what you don’t. Truth doesn’t depend on how you feel or what you like/don’t like; it depends on God.
If you can live your life without engaging in homosexual activity, then you can live a fully Catholic life. Experiencing desire and arousal is something every human being faces. You are not condemned based solely on who you are attracted to. But you do have to make a choice – do you want to live a fully Catholic life, participating in the Sacraments? (Receiving the Eucharist, etc.) Or do you want to explore your sexuality? The unfortunate reality is that you cannot do both. You cannot act on sinful desires while still receiving the Eucharist and such.
For years, I hated any and all sexual inclinations I had, toward women as well as men. I was afraid of myself. You don’t have to be afraid, but you do have to work on practicing chastity, temperance, prudence, and continence if you want to be Catholic. But this goes for ALL Catholics, no matter their orientation. We are ALL sinners, and there are lots of people who choose sinful lifestyles in many ways – sinful avenues of work, sinful attitudes (hateful, angry), sinful behaviours (gluttony)… many things. Sexual sins are not the “biggest” sins that people encounter and they certainly are not the only ones.
Keep in mind that “sin” means “missing the mark” – falling short of what God has ordained for us. Viewing it in a judicial paradigm where a sin is a crime that deserves condemnation is probably too harsh for you right now. But if you look at it in terms of the relationship that you would like to have with God, the pursuit of holiness, then ‘sin’ means only falling short of what He desires of you.
I figured that since the other comments weren’t written by Catholics, that maybe you might want to read something from the Catholic perspectives. It all depends on what you really want, deep down. If you want a sanctifying relationship with God, then you must do what all of us must do – acknowledge our sexual inclinations, but regulate them (which in this case involves not acting on homosexual inclinations as well as maintaining chastity in heterosexual interactions). If you do not feel that you want to follow that path, then that is your choice. But is IS your choice and you DO have one.
I just wanted to tell you that if you feel more comfortable in a more accepting church (some Episcopal/Anglican churches are this way, also other denominations), do not feel like you are betraying the Catholic Church. You can still keep your Catholic identity in a non-Catholic church or without attending Mass.
Also, when I was your age I had similar difficulties with a lack of acceptance in the Catholic community. I tried other denominations before deciding to stop attending Mass. I kept my devotions – particularly to the Blessed Virgin, who I feel comforted me a great deal during this time. But I also read spiritual literature from many different sorts of people – Sufi poetry (Muslim), Buddhism, Hindu, Protestant reformers, ancient pagan texts, etc. This reading helped me better understand my own faith. And throughout I continued with the rosary and reading the Bible.
Now I’m returning to the Church ten years later. I don’t look at the time that I stopped attending Mass as a period of non-Catholicism, just time I took to learn more about myself and my own faith.
I believe in god but i dont believe in religion, because of all these silly rules. Be who you want to .if you are nosexula then you are bisexula god loves you and want you to be happy that is all that matters.
You ask “who am I” , then you say I am bisexual, I am catholic. Being bisexual and catholic are part of you, but they are not who you are.
God and religion are not a package, you do not have to choose religion to choose god and you do not have to reject god because you reject religion.
My advise to you would be to let your sexuality and your faith in God
work for you. Your sexuality is part of you. if you believe that god made you, then god made that part of you too. Be who you are and be happy with who you are.