Secret Confessions

I desperately missed you suddenly, after so many years, tried to find you and thought I failed. After long months of thinking you were happy and married and had too much of a life to be bothered with me, you get in touch. I could have been knocked over with a feather. Another month passes and I finally get to speak with you, my muse, and it is beyond great.
Do you know the last time I have talked to someone all night long? I told you the truth, I wasn’t single, but I also was on my way out. I laughed and flirted and it was incredible. I go to work exhausted but happier than I have been in a long time. Then you ignore me. And ignore me. And ignore me. Did I miss something? So I write you and ask if you want to talk again later in the week. You get wierd and say very cryptic things. I’m not really hurt just confused. I tell you that I am confused and just needed some support at a rough time and you “drunk mail” me.
Now no news. What did I do? I didn’t leave him for you, quite frankly it has been long enough that I feasibly don’t know who you are anymore. I was miserable and we were not married. I hate that I cannot get you out of me for a moment. I hate that we are so far apart, making it impossible to simply corner you and find out what the hell is going on. I don’t give two if you have someone, despite your avowal that you did not, as long as you are happy! What is wrong?How can I fix this besides giving you space like I have been? It has been weeks now and I don’t know what I did.