Questioning my sanity
Posted by Tired in Confused on Jun 13th, 2010 | 2 commentsI am an alcoholic. I have been sober for 3 yrs now. I am married to a drunk. I have had past history of mental instability. I’ve been off medicine for just as long as I have been sober. Personally, I feel clearer than I ever have. Now, however, my other half makes me question myself. I see him walk about and mutter to himself. He gets mad for no reason (never physical, more like a temper tantrum), and everything is every body elses’ fault. Then he passes out. The next day he wakes up like nothing happened only to start the whole cycle all over. I do say things about him drinking to much but for the most part it falls upon deaf ears. His family won’t believe me because they think that he works hard (and he does) and just self medicates. He won’t go to a doctor. I am just at my wits end. Sometimes, ( I hate myself for saying this) I just wish he would drink himself to death.
2 Responses to “ “Questioning my sanity”
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i’ve never had a drug or alcohol problem myself but i am divorcing and alcoholic right now. i do have alot of issues i’m working on (bad stuff from my childhood) and things are sooo much easier with my alcoholic ex gone! I say throw the bum out, it’s not like he’s helping your recovery any! it’s not easy to do what you’re doing and i can guarantee your life (and your kids, if you have them) will be SO much easier when you don’t have the stress of him around and you’ll be less depressed. take it from someone who’s doing it, it’s not always easy but it’s much, much better!
You are very strong for being a sober alcoholic and living with an active one but that seems like an unhealthy environment for you. I can imagine you feel a load of resentment. I was in a similar situation at one point, I had a boyfriend who turned into a raging alcoholic and it was a nightmare. I loved the person he was when he wasn’t drinking, but when he did, he was unpredictable and could be very awful. He was driving me crazy and I could see he was starting to drag me down. I tried and tried to get him to quit but finally I had to leave him because he just wouldn’t change for himself, his family or me. I’m sure you know better than anyone how stubborn alcoholics can be, I know I sure do. If he’s decided to keep this lifestyle even though it’s unhealthy for the both of you, then he’s already decided the fate of your marriage. Take good care of yourself.