RSSNot Scared Enough
There are things I do… bad things, which I fear to mention even here for legal reasons.
The problem is, I am not scared enough. There is very high risk involved in what I do; not of death, but of an utterly destroyed life. I feel like if I were discovered, my life would drop into an abyss of loneliness and despair, and that case may well drive me to suicide if it were ever to happen.
However, I continue my actions. This is no drug, with no addiction, simply something I like to do. And I know I need to stop, but my willpower is strange in the way that I can go on and stay on a diet for eleven months straight and lose almost 110 pounds, but I cannot stop this simple thing.
And I just needed to vent.
Anonyminibus on July 13th 2008 in Confused
muslimah said on 30 Aug 2008 at 12:59 am # Quote
Don’t think it’s hopeless to stop, nobody has a pure heart but many people could hold themselves from bad/ dangerous actions they do all their lives. But know that Allah knows what you hide in your heart. He knows your intentions, what you think and what you do. He’s more compassionate towards you than your own parents, and He’ll forgive you if you repent and promise yourself not to fall again. But if you do fall again, and then truly repent again a hundred times, Allah will always be merciful and forgiving.