love and lust
Posted by anonymous in Confused on May 5th, 2009 | 9 commentsAfter 10 yrs my marital sex life has literally gone to hell. I ran into an old friend a few months ago. One thing lead to another and now we’re trying to hook up at least once a week. I love my husband, but I don’t know if I’m in love with him anymore (it actually hurts to admit that). I know I don’t love the other guy, I know it’s just a friendship that evolved into a sexual relationship. I want more from him though. I shouldn’t since I’m married and he has a girlfriend. I would never leave my husband, he means too much to me and I could never hurt him like that. If he found out he would be devestated. I would never ask my guy friend to leave his girl, but I can’t help but wonder what my life would have been like if I had pursued things 11 yrs. ago. Would I be happily married to a very attractive man, would I have his children, would we have everything my husband and I do and do not have? And of course, how long can this thing last? Another week, another month, another year, the rest of our lives?
9 Responses to “ “love and lust”
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being in a new relation is not a bad thing and as u know it wont last due to both of you have there own commitments
enjoy till it lasts
I’ve been through a similar situation. I have secretly dated a girl who I was going to school with while she was married with her husband for 5 years and while I was married and I was married for 8 years at the time. And just like you, our relationship, sex included had pretty much died out. But I wouldnt have left my wife for anyone. I would have died for her. It was just a “fling” and I wanted to know where it was going. Anyways, while I was with the other girl, it was lovely. Everything was great. It felt like we were both in high school again because it was a new thing to the both of us(at the time I was 28 and she was 26). We knew we were in the wrong but everything just felt so right. We would have study dates, eat dinner together afterwards and makeout at the park. I had that “feeling” I havent had since I was back in highschool. I didn’t want it to end and she didnt either. But to keep a long story short, we got caught and we both had to admit to our spouses what we had been doing. Her husband forgave her and my wife forgave me. Although, it also meant the begining of the end for me and my wife. She left me 2 years later because nothing was ever the same after she found out I had cheated. So lesson learned. Cheating has consequences. Although I know a couple who has gone through the same ordeal but now have revived their marriage after she was caught cheating. So it really can work either way. But ask yourself, is really a risk you want to take?
Don’t you care about the marriage vows you took. It seems like no one here seems to care that marriage is a sacred bond.How can you’ll encourage cheating and lying?
Sounds to me like you are missing the emotional aspect in your marriage.
Ive been there – have you tried *dating* your husband – put the spark back into the relationship, go eat dinner, park up somewhere – make out in the car – do the things with your husband you do with your lover.
It would make no difference. You would still be the cheating lying ***** that you are today. But there is hope for you. I think what you lack is excitement and spice in the sex department. Seeing that you cheated you OWE him a thrill. I think a double blowjob with you and another female are in order here.
Then maybe later on you can do the swinging scene for awhile and then maybe a marriage counselor. If that doesn’t work out leave a reply with the code word DOMENOW and we can see about getting together so I can do you in front of your husband
You should try to go out more with this guy if you don’t love your husband and aim to start a new life. If your husband is devastated, you need to ask him how much he loves you and whether he’s willing to let you see this guy. If he isn’t then it’s time to go. If he is then suggest to him that maybe overtime you will be happy to keep him around sort of like a pet slave to lick you clean after you’ve done it with the guy.
Boo hoo hoo my husband doesn’t “plow” the garden anymore and I “love” him but Im not IN LOVE. Geeze woman GROW UP!!!!!! All you want is an excuse. Some sort of justification. Have you ever thought that maybe YOU are part of the problem!!!!
After all no man wants to come home and hear constant bitching about money and shit that needs fix and looking at you in the same drab sweatpants with vomit stains from the baby. In other words you have become a fixture in the landscape. You are practically invisible.
Oh yeah the “Old Friend” who is single and would hump a snake if you held it still for him, and this is what you want to pursue?. I’m not saying its all on you Im sure hubby has some serious character flaws himself. BUT an honest self eveluation is warranted here.
As the previous commentator said: DATE your husband. Introduce some simulating role playing into your bedroom / romance time. Do your hair. In other words find the time to rediscover each other. Being familiar with each others bodies and mind lends itself to some pretty powerful orgasms. And who knows that “in love” shit might resurface again.
Wow… I’m seeing a lot of harsh flaming going on around here…
Gotta tell you first: Going around with another guy is bad news… If he’s really the one you’re after, you should break it off with your husband first.
That said, I think the more reasonable course of action would be to try something more exciting to get your husband back into the mood. Give yourself some alone time, away from the family and friends. GO on a second honeymoon, see what happens. This will all work itself out, one way or another, despite what the haters might think. Hang in there. ;)
to all the ignorant people that judged me, you should be happy to know that it’s over. long story short, we fell in love and now it’s over.