Lost Virginity to a guy 7 years older than me
Posted by Alice in Confused on Jul 16th, 2010 | 6 commentsWhen I was 19, I lost my virginity to a guy 7 years old older than me. He kind of pressured me into it. During the first 6 months, he said he wanted to live together but I never did. I should have never given into the sex. He was 26. We have been hanging out together almost every week. During the first two years he was always into sex and then it became nonexistent recently for the past 5 years. He does not show any sort of affection for five years not even holding hands or kisses. He says he likes to hang out with me but Im confused because I have never met any of his friends at all.
He does not introduce me as a girlfriend ever but he calls me every night and talks to me. He spends alot of his time with me. He says he doesn’t want to take things seriously until later on but he does one action and contradicts what he say. He is already 31. I think he is just saying he doesn’t want anything serious because he actually does not want me as a girlfriend, and just waiting around for someone better. I am very confused to the point where I feel like some sort of whore. I have never had sexual things with anyone else but him. I have talked to him numerous times and he always brushes off the topic and makes jokes. Throughout the years I have never went out with someone else, because I thought he had feelings for me. I have reached my breaking point and have lost my cool because I feel like I gave up everything for him including my social life and now he says he doesn’t want anything serious. I know I was stupid when I was younger but I really don’t know what to do now.
6 Responses to “ “Lost Virginity to a guy 7 years older than me”
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You sure he’s not married? That’s the first thing I thought of when you said you’ve never met his friends. Or he’s cheating on you with some other piece of jail bait.
Hi Alice,
I have seen this kind of routine over and over. Your man isn’t a bad person, but you need to do what’s right for you. When you say “recently” and in the last 5 years, that means you have gone longer without a healthy sexual relationship than what you have with one.
I am not a counsellor nor do I have any qualifications to discuss you’re particular situation.
But you already identify that this is not what you want. There are many different combinations of healthy relationships in the world and in your heart you have to ask if this is one that fulfils your needs.
I wish you all the best in figuring this out.
Girl, 19 is NOT too young to lose your v-card, and 7 years aren’t such a huge gap…. He might be a douche, but you should stop playing the innocent little victim….that’s probably that kind of attitude that alienates him, who knows….
Truth: MZ is correct 100%! My advice let MZ teach you how to be a strong woman. Just don’t look and the big toe on MZ’s left foot *Holds down puke* lol /hugs
I don’t think he’s interested or good enough for you, move on
Not healthy. Seek relationships, friendships, and connections that are healthier!
you deserve better.