It’s Not OK
Posted by KW in Confused on May 5th, 2011 | 6 commentsI lost my virginity to a “friend” who is five years older than me. When we first met he was so nice. He made me feel wanted and special. I had never really had a relationship before I met him I though that it could be really nice with him. We started hanging out more, and more. Then 17 days after our first kiss we has sex. It was not fun or special or anything. Ever since then things between us have been strained and weird. We never talked about having sex. I don’t even think he knew I was a virgin until I told him he took it. Now the only thing I get out of being around him is pain. He is emotionally abusing me in a passive aggressive way. I try and break off the friendship, but I feel like it makes the fact that I lost my virginity to him stupid and dumb and not worth it. I know it’s not but I just don’t want to loose it. So I talk to him again. I don’t know what to do about him and where to go. I’m tired of constantly being confused and having all this pain I can’t tell anyone about.
6 Responses to “ “It’s Not OK”
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Sounds like he used you to take advantage of you, and after the sex, he no longer wants to be around you. Take it as a lesson learn; he doesn’t value your virginity as much as you do. Sorry to hear about his treatment; it’s probably best not to be-friend him, if he’s going to continue his behavior. Listen to you heart and your mind.
he’s a jerk and some “friend” he turned out to be! holy crap! what are your requirements for friendship? and how old are you? you need to spend time developing yourself and some better friendships. write him a letter tell him how you feel. he needs to know. and keep your undies on and your pants on. no more sex for you for quite awhile. you are too immature to handle having sex. grow up.
Excuse me, but who are you to tell KW that she shouldn’t have sex and that she’s immature?! Anyone can have bad luck and very few people realize when they’re being used by another person.
Wow that comment by Sal was harsh.
How old are you? You are hurting yourself more and more by holding onto this relationship. If you break it off and move on you will feel better. This was a lesson in life and that is all. You are not defined by your virginity status AT ALL!! Virgin or not you are still the same person you were before you had sex with him. Remember that and leave him before you really start to forget who you are. Please promise to break it off with him, I know it will help you in the long run.
I just lost my virginity like just did! to and I have mixed feelings about it. The only difference is I’m a guy I’m 12 if that means anything to you. Just know he could be pretty emotional to because sex is a big thing!
People put virginity so high on a pedestal… I know I did.
Yes it was your first time, and yes, perhaps it should have been special. But instead of trying to hold on to someone that doesn’t/didn’t appreciate what was so special to you, leave him and you will be able to find someone that actually appreciates the physical/emotional/mental bond that you create with someone when you make love.