I Sometimes Starve Myself
Posted by dido in Confused on Jul 11th, 2009 | 4 commentsI am a 28 year old woman, weigh 124 and am 5’7. I sometimes stave myself. I can go a long time without eating anything. And if I do, I binge on candy, or stuff that is not what I should be eating. I tried to tell my boyfriend about this and he said that I didn’t have an eating disorder, I just don’t want to get up and actually make something to eat…which is partly right…but the other part is not. I feel a sense of control when I don’t eat. It is not that I think that I am fat, because I know that I am not. It is more of the control thing. My life is stable, my boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years, we live together, have had the same job for 7 years. Why do I feel this way?
4 Responses to “ “I Sometimes Starve Myself”
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Well most likely you are dragging this problem from your childhood, because if your parents (or legal tutor) were to strike with you or probable didn’t let you do most of the things you wanted. So to fell some control you do what you do… of course I don’t know exactly but you should get some help because you could hurt your self very badly by doing this.
your not alone. i do it too. the feeling of being in control makes me feel good about myself, and it kind of became a game. i was told it was nothing to worry about by my family etc.. until someone close to me (who was surrounded by people with eating disorders and depression and so on..) told me to go see someone about it. i didnt think there was much point to begin with but then realised how much weight i was losing and it worried me. i’m now going to counselling, nothing major, just a small place- but they have given me so much help to stop it from getting out of control. its not an instant fix, but i dont have to worry about myself anymore, thats the best part. i say you should talk to someone about it, but its your decision and noone will be able to make it for you…
If feeling of having control is what you need, maybe you can try something different… Instead of no eating, try to force yourself to eat at exact same time each day, and eat everything you will determine you need to eat. That will prove to be as hard as not eating, trust me… Braking an old habbit and building a new one is challenging and demands a lot of strength.
You sound like you have pulled your life together pretty good, I’m glad for you. Maybe your boyfriend and you can try cooking together every now and then, make something simple like salad or soup or something… Bringing fun to it might help you, with the being to lazy part…
The thing is, you need to eat right so you don’t get sick. No matter how strong your body might be, it can’t live without food. Please take care of yourself.
I have found OA to be very helpful. I attend phone meetings (anonomously) and share my feeling regarding food. Google OA I’m sure you will find comfort.