I feel things too deeply.

And I’m not implying anything physical or sexual. I mean emotionally. I feel emotions deep down to my very soul, to an extent that just wrecks me. Everything, even the smallest things – they just stab at my heart. World events. Tragedies that happen to people I don’t know. I cry all the time. I feel things on a level that I’m not sure many people will understand. I even feel horribly sad when I read fiction or watch movies. This sensitivity feels like such a curse.

13 thoughts on “I feel things too deeply.

  1. I knew there would be someone on the opposite side of the spectrum. Nothing bothers me, I can’t feel or empathise about anything. I’ve tried watching tragic/shocking footage, but all it does is feed my curiousity. I have cried before, but not because of anything I’ve witnessed etc, but because of my own problems.
    I feel like a robot – and those around me remark about it often. They think it’s cool and that I’m lucky – but sometimes I wish I could at least look empathetic/emotional because people would trust me more. People tend to not want to get to know me. I’ve even practiced how to react to sad news to get better at faking it, just so people don’t think I’m made up of cogs.
    I am a nice person – I’m honest, ethical and unbiased by nature – but I’ll never know what it’s like to be an empath. And I feel like I’m missing out on a big part of being human.

  2. I have the opposite problem, I feel things too little. It’s caused a lot of my relationships to fall apart, because after a couple of months, weeks, even days, I just stop feeling anything. Like, anything at all; sadness, happiness or love; around that person. I cherish my feelings, sometimes I try to invoke sadness just to feel something but it never hits.

    1. I have to say, your comment has been the most helpful (and longest) I’ve ever received from anyone — even my own friends — on this topic. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my confession. I’m going to watch those videos now.

        1. Why does life suck so much? I had a rough childhood but pulled through it with a determination that I think I depleted. I planned my life out as an 8 year old child and nothing was going to stop me ever. I don’t mean to sound conceited because I’m not. I grew into a tall, slender, lovely young woman with smarts to go along with it. No encouragement whatsoever from my family, Either I did it on my own or continue a life I detested. Mom was sweet but I realize that her job at the hospital was her happy place, her refuge a place where she could work, yes, but we children were on our own. I was a latch key kid, letting myself and my little brother in the house after school, watching cartoons until she got home. Fun. I had a little friend that my mother would let me visit occasionally. I could not believe the life she had. A babysitter waiting with a snack, Barbies with Barbie clothes, socks with ruffles on them, and she had $2.00 in her drawer. They even had a pool. This registered in my conscience and I swore that one day my children would have those things too. I worked my way every weekend through nursing school which was my dream because I loved helping people, and finished it. I grew so much as a person made many friends and fell in love. That did not work out. His mother didn’t thing I was good enough for her precious only son or rich enough…these things meant everything to her. But we were young, me 23 he, 26 and in his senior year of medical school. I went through hell with that breakup…I really loved him. Didn’t accept any dates for a year. I left that hospital and went to work at another that was close by. I eventually met a resident there (you think I was going to date the janitor’s…fat chance, I knew my worth) named Bruce. He asked me out 3 times before I said ok. He turned out to be the most loving, respectful, man with the desire to lead an honest life with someone who loved HIM and have a lovely little family. It took time, but I accepted his proposal and began the most wonderful years of my life. We had two darling children, and he bought me a lovely home…and anything else I wanted…but I never took advantage of that. He was an extremely intelligent man and a financial whiz. I lost my wonderful husband 2 years ago. I am very financially independent, I had no idea what he had secretly set up for me. I’d give up every penny to just have him back. Money is not everything, far from it. Our children have been a real disappointment unfortunately and I have been through so much losing my family. University educations, travels around the world…and so much love….what else do you do? Money doesn’t give you warm hugs and lot’s of genuineI love you’s. We adored our children. I thank God my late husband can’t see what they have done. Its taken quite a toll on me and have aged quite a bit since Bruce died.

    2. You are probably a HSP, here is a video to help see if you are:
      The gentle power of highly sensitive people | Elena Herdieckerhoff | TEDxIHEParis

  3. Oh and there is just one other thing I would like to mention because I think it is relevant. If you watch the video, you will notice the entire series of lectures in the “Up Next” section, and if you watch some of these and also go back to previous lectures and watch some of those you will notice that there are some very important people who have thought about these things.

    This is––in my opinion––important in two very important ways: a) you should know there are people out there that felt so hard on these topics they devoted their lives to working it out and b) although there may be people in the world that feel what you’re feeling, only a small percentage of them will know about this website, an even smaller percentage will come across your post, and even fewer will have the courage to dig down and say something––and so it’s amazing that we’ve been able to keep around these amazing writings long enough to reach us now.

    Oh and why is it even important that other people, both alive and dead, have or have had the same feels as you? Well because we’re human beings––social animals––that like it or not are often girded up and taken down by the opinions of others.

  4. Holy Moly! My wife and I just watched a Japanese film called “If Cats Disappeared from the World” and we’re cat people. It’s about a lot more than cats, but suffice to say I’m out of tears.

    I also just recently binge watched a bunch of Crash Course videos on philosophy and ethics and happened to get half way through #38 which is about Aristotle’s theory of virtue with regards to ethics. I’m not going to explain it here because the video does a better job than I could possibly do: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrvtOWEXDIQ

    That said, I think a couple of the previous comments touch on what I consider to be a decent solution to consider for your problem.

    Let me start by saying that––depending on who you talk to––one of two things is happening right now. Either a) the world is going to shit, or b) it’s actually better than before, but the Internet has made it easier to be aware of how awful things are. Before I go on, I must acknowledge that the latter view is supported by history and statistics.

    But which view is correct is actually irrelevant, because both of those things are outside of your control and suffering is just bad no matter how little of it there is. And this is where Aristotle and virtue enter the picture. If I’m allowed to simplify things, virtue is doing your best. Now of course doing your best is subject to interpretation but as I mentioned some previous comments touched on this.

    First and foremost in the quest for virtue is health. You can’t be at your most virtuous if you’re somehow debilitated by these intense feels. The first comment mentioned some pharmaceuticals which I think we can all safely say we’re on the fence about. The key of course is applying them correctly, which as the first commenter said is up to professionals. Just get a few opinions because we know how some doctors like those pretty pharma reps and fancy dinners.

    The third comment also addresses health but in another way that may or may not be available to you. This is simply the ability to turn it off. There’s a great book on this called “The Psychopath Test”. Of course I don’t encourage psychopathy, but there’s an excellent chapter in there that talks about how some situations simply require that you disconnect from your feelings in order to get a job done (e.g., high-stakes surgery). I’m not sure that anyone can tell you “how” to do this, but if you figure it out, by all means, turn it off so you can regroup.

    And finally, the second comment. This is an important point because sometimes you have to make a choice between feeling or not feeling, and sometimes you’re in such a bind that not feeling is the best option, but then you get caught up in it and lose something very important. This has clearly not happened to you and I would venture to guess will never happen, because your feels are particularly intense.

    And this brings us full circle to why you would even consider being virtuous in the first place (as opposed to just addressing the feels and leaving it at that). The fact is that much of humanity was built on compassion. We really wouldn’t be here without it. If you look up the etymology of “emotion” you’ll note that it’s about getting you to do something. So I think of it as a call to action. A deep one. But like I said, take care of yourself first, but know full well that as you learn to manage all these aspects, every day you grow stronger and more able to do something about all this madness.

  5. Sometimes I think if I let myself feel emotions the way you do then it would consume me. And that scares me. But instead I feel nothing. I end up mimicking what other people’s emotions are just to appear normal. So for me I envy people like you. Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, it’s actually a likeable trait. It shows that you’re
    human.

  6. Hey, I have the same issue. And I have come to find being on cymbalta and abilify medications help with the over use of my emotions. You should honestly tell your doctor. It can lead to deep depression feeling such entente emotions.

    1. ANTI DEPRESSANTS HELP A LITTLE BUT YOU ARE A SENSITIVE SOUL…JOIN THE CLUB. I CRY OVER QUITE A FEW THINGS…EVEN IF IT’S NOT MY OWN SHIT.

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