I Dont Want To Know If You Just Didnt Want Me
Posted by Anonymous in Confused on Oct 15th, 2009 | 7 commentsI looked for the man who left my mother while pregnant with me.
He has a wife (who he was too married befor i was born) and 2 children (both older then me) that i know of.
Im terrified of talking to him incase he tells me that he knew about and for the past 20 years didnt bother with me because i wasnt worth it.
My mother doesnt even know that i looked. I dont want her to feel betrayed.
I havent even told my best friend.
I dont know what to do if you tell me to go away.
7 Responses to “ “I Dont Want To Know If You Just Didnt Want Me”
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Walk away and don’t look back. You don’t exist in his world. Make a life for yourself that excludes him. Respect your mom and honor her desires that you have nothing to do with him. God bless
don’t be confused. you have done nothing wrong.. it is just you want to see your father and dont feel that you have betrayed your mother with that i know eventhough you haven’t seen him for a very long time and haven’t felt his embraces and kisses you still love him… and there are things also that you dont need to tell to your friends which you have to better keep it…
Don’t be confused or scared. I agree with hapee, you just want to see him of course you are longing for him. but also you have to move on because he had a family and never know what’s gonna happen if you tell them, unless you know they’ll accept the situation. kinda sad but the reality of life. I’m so sorry this happened to you. now, in your own life be careful not be on the same situation as your mom. take care of yourself and surround yourself you loves you
This is something that I expect to happen to me soon. So i would write to you as if you were my daughter. I think that you are amazing. I think about you a lot and know everything that is happening in your life. (almost :-) I wish we could met, but the problem is that your mum and my wife will never get along. I would like to take you and your brother and sister somewhere where you can get to know each other.
Sweety…you do what you need to do. If you feel the need to meet him, then meet him. If you feel you can go through life never confronting him, then don’t. But what you need to realise is that for you to have a wonderful life, you do not need his approval. After all, you had one parent that wanted you enough for two. So many people move through life looking like a happy family from the outside but never really connecting on the inside. Even parents who “wanted” their children sometimes live to reguard them as the greatest hinderance in their lives…while others who did not want children in the beginning end up being the most wonderful parents. But we have to stop living through others and realise that you are here and have a right to be here…and you are loved by somebody.
I agree with Lozcat, do what you need to do, and good luck. :)
don’t be afraid. Life’s a mad place. you did nothing wrong. hey, if it helps. I’m adopted. my birth mother was a whore and i was born on a one night stand with a guy she didn’t even know, and i want to find him too.