I dont know how to come out.

Hello, I dont know why I made this but I did. I’m a female, and Im 12. I know you might be thinking “Your not hold enough to be gay or even know for that matter.” but I do know. I do know I’m a lesbian. I’m not looking for any hate, so please dont give it. I know I’m a lesbian and nothing can change that so again I ask you, please don’t hate. Any ways, I want to come out to my parents. My friends already know that I’m lesbian but my parents dont. I kind of want to come out to them on Christmas or New Years but I’m not sure how to do it or even if I should come out. I just wanted to see if anyone had idea’s or advice. Im sorry for wasting your time with this confession. I’ll leave now.

12 thoughts on “I dont know how to come out.

  1. I relate to this on such a personal level. My parents are extremely homophobic and I’ve been in the closet for years. You shouldn’t be scared to tell them who you are, if they refuse to accept it, I don’t know how they can be considered your parents. They need to accept you for who you are, and they definitely will if they’re good people. Just wait until you’re ready and comfortable to tell them even if it takes time.

  2. I’ve just turned 13 and i’m in the exact same position as you! I know for definite i am a lesbian but i dont know if i should come out as my parents might not be accepting, seeing how young i am. My advice is to stay safe and come out if you feel it is ok to do so. Maybe tell a few friends or so am I am out to my best friend currently at I feel much better.

  3. i came out at 12 before i was ready. my parents are super liberal and supportive, but it took my mom weeks to really be cool. she actually cried when i told her because she was so worried that i would be made fu of. im so so glad that i read so much advice and didnt freak out. unfortunately, for many families in our world, being gay is seen as bad. if your parents are supportive themselves, they might fear that youll be bullied. so my advice is to watch every coming out video i existence (this was a few years ago, but troye sivans coming out video really helped me prepare myself to come out), wait until youre ready (no need to come out during the holidays— i felt that pressure too, but you can tough it out!! wait until you feel prepared and you just cant take it anymore), and to be prepared for a few weeks of it being awkward before they get over themselves. :) also, if it’s a safety issue (if you think they will assault you or kick you out), Do Not Come Out Yet!!! it sucks, but your safety is whats most important. i really hope you have so much happiness in your coming year and good luck hun!!!!

  4. I feel for you. Like the above comment stated. The holidays may not be such a good time. The holidays are stressful. Inglad you know who you are but maybe a counselor can help with the process of coming out?? I wish u all the best. I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

  5. Unless your parents are ultra religious or narrow minded to the point that they don’t agree with homosexuality, or you guys have a very strained relationship, I’m willing to bet that they might have an idea already that you’re a lesbian. And even if they don’t, they shouldn’t be upset over it. Parents have an obligation to love and accept their children for who they are. So again, unless they’re horrible people, you should be fine

  6. Oh honey, me and you could talk. I am a gay male and I have some serious advice.
    I don’t know your situation but when I was about your age, I came out to my mother. I cried and cried and cried. My mother was overwhelmingly accepting. I was so happy.
    It was a process. Years and years.
    In her defense, I wanted to be the gayest thing anyone had ever seen. I wanted to make a statement and be an example in my community. She didn’t know what she was singing up for.
    I want to tell you there were times when she put me down and made me feel like an embarrassment. Times when she tried to control how I dressed.
    We went through big fights and tough times. She tried to push her idea of what she wanted on to me
    But here’s the secret.
    I pushed back. HARD.
    I did what I want, when I wanted. With compromise, of course. And somewhere along the line, she congratulated me, and stood back and told me how proud she was of me for taking a stand. She got to see first hand how I could influence the minds of people and give them a different perspective on what it was like to be gay and to be a human.
    One of her favorite thing to tell people today is “I didn’t raise my kids, my kids raised me.”

    My point here is that you cannot forget that you are a smart human being just like your aren’t, yes you are still young but there are many things your parents are going to teach you in life and it would be very selfish of you not to teach them something new as well.
    I’m not saying disobey your parents because you know better than them.
    I’m saying, be you. Honestly, fully, and without limits. Because being gay can can either be a shameful curse or an incredible blessing. You just have to put in the work. And baby if I can do it, hooooonnneeeeyy. You got this shit.

  7. I have read people share that they knew they were gay even younger than that. If that is your truth, don’t hate yourself for it, be a good person and enjoy the life you have.

  8. Don’t give up sweetheart. It is hard to come out, and I know it’s hard (Trust me, I have christian parents that are super anti-gay and coming out to them was no walk in the park). Just be sure to tell them in a calm manner, and be sure that you both understand each other. Tip #1, don’t come out until you have come out completely to yourself. Tip #2, try to not back out of the conversation, be confident, and bold about your statement. I wish you the best of luck with your coming out.

  9. It’s not as big of a deal as you think it is. Unless you live in a gay-hating household, it shouldn’t be hard. I’m also a lesbian and what I did was just whenever my parents said “When you’ll get a husband…” I added “or a wife, it’s the 21st century I can do that.” I did always say it kind of joke-ishly so, I think they can only speculate. Well, that’s my advice, anyways..

  10. Maybe you should try to tell you’re parents on a day that isn’t a holiday. Holidays can be charged with so much emotion. Expect that you’re parents may be disappointed, sad or angry also about your telling them.
    And be ready to deal with this. Enlisting the help of another strong relative like an aunt or grandparent would also likely soften the shock of this for your folks. Good luck.

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