Husband showed me off naked
Posted by Tiffany in Confused on Jul 3rd, 2010 | 40 commentsI was just cleaning out and shredding some old bills and came across a cd-rom in the bottom of the desk drawer. When I put it into the computer I found it had dozens of image pictures of me in the nude which my husband of 12 years had secretly taken of me. Pictures of me in the shower, undressing, sleeping and so on. I did not know what to think or feel and then I found some images with printing on them from where he sent them to some websites, and then saved the images off the site again. I looked some of the sites up and now know from the view counters and comments that over 50,000 strangers have seen my pictures showing my face and all of my secrets! My head is spinning and I am confused as to what to do next. My emotions are all over the place right now. How do I confront this? Should I?
40 Responses to “ “Husband showed me off naked”
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i would leave. you trusted your “husband” and look what he did… i wouldn’t give him any chances. he sounds like a dirty filthy pervert and i have a hunch that this isn’t the only problem going on here.. he sounds like an addict of some kind, maybe a sex addict?
good luck to you, sister
also, be prepared for him to lie.. maybe you need a computer special to investigate it for you, i would take him to the cleaners and make his life hell
* computer specialist*
He did this a long time ago, and has probably forgoten about it by now. But I wouldn’t take it as a bad thing, because atleast they are NOT nude pictures of another woman, they are pictures of you, which shows he still finds you attractive, he is proud of how good you look. But still, it WAS an invasion of your privacy, and I would talk to him about it. Good luck. :)
Need to talk about it, while you have him spread eagle bound, groined shaved, and post. He’ll get a kick out of that and it will be something I’m sure he’ll have a laugh about with you some day.
See its really easy for other people to tell you what you should do but you and I both know it isn’t that easy.
So now you need to find out if any laws exist in your area concerning this sort of thing (Probably does). Find out what they are and use that as leverage.
Then I would make his life a living hell. Play the victim card to the max.
I wouldn’t doubt if he fed you a date rape drug and had other men sex you up while he watched and probably taped. Don’t have to divorce him just put his sorry azz in jail
Thank you all for your advice. I know that I need to confront him on it now. Last night I “fell asleep” watching tv and did not go to bed with him. My emotions are still ranging and I must confess that even a very small part of me feels a little erotic at times when I have read comliments and things that total strangers have written about seeing me. I am a mess, I know. I wonder if his friends have seen these pictures as well or who in the neighborhood already knows how I look naked. Part of me wants to do something to serve him right and another part is just still confused. But thanks for the help and I will try to be strong.
I don’t know if it was you who wrote this first, but I’m 18, and I am so sorry.
You deserve soooo much better than him.
I think that you should confront him.
If he lies, dump his ass.
You can sue him so fast. It’s not even funny.
But my best suggestion is for you to move on. He was invading your space ( I think, come on, you were sleeping, showering, and getting dressed without knowing he was doing this, and then he posts them online for millions to see. That’s disgusting. )
All the best. (:
Wow, what a jerk. I don’t think I would be able to look on the bright side and say “Well, at least still finds me atractive!” It’s great that your disrespectful pervert of a husband thinks you look nice, but there are probably tons of peeping toms out there who probably think so, also. Would they deserve your gratitude if they did the same thing? This could affect your personal and professional life. And you might want to ask your husband what he plans on doing when (assuming you have children) your 14 year-old discovers the internet and its many wonders (including pornography). Maybe your kid will get too stumble upon your good looks, too! I say ditch him. Good luck.
Bubear is an idiot.
Clearly he finds you hot as hell. That’s good.
Clearly he didn’t dare ask you if it was ok. That’s terrible, and shows a lack of respect.
Tell him that you just found out someone has been stalking you, and that he’s been breaking into your house taking pictures of you and that you’re terrified you’re going to be raped. Tell him this guy has sent you pictures he’s been taking of you in the shower and sleeping through email with lude comments about what he wants to do to you. Create a fake account and send a few to yourself to “prove it”. Make him suffer a little, and then talk to him about it.
He shouldn’t be keeping secrets from you, and he should have asked permission. But at least he’s not cheating on you and he obviously thinks your hot. Good luck.
anon, i think someone should send out 50,000 images of you naked online without your knowledge and we’ll come and ask you how you’re feeling then.. not only did he take the pictures without her knowledge he sent pictures for thousands if not millions of people to access.. anyone who thinks this is one is okay is disturbed.. this women has been badly violated!!
also to Tiffany: please seek the help of a therapist what he did to you is very serious
At what point did I even suggest that I thought it was ok?
I think her husband is a perv. And I think what Tiffany is conflicted about is that it turns her on, but she’s been violated. Getting turned on by it is fine – it’s gratifying to know that men are hot for you. What’s not ok is the way her husband went about it – WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE OR PERMISSION. If he can restore the trust he’s broken and explain why he never told her about it, they’re probably going to have spectacular sex and a stronger marriage. After he stops being a smarmy dirt bag about it.
I would probably end up calling the police. I don’t care if he is your husband. That is sick and wrong. I know if this ever happened to me I would feel dirty!! You need to hide the disk and, confront him and then call the police. But be careful..he could get violent though!! DONT allow someone to treat you that way. Take charge and prevent him from ever letting him do this to someone else!! For all you know he probably already has….YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!!
Don’t be too angry about it. At least he is not watching porn or fantasizing about other women. One thing you can be sure about is that your man finds you very attractive and is only doing this to brag. Most of his peers probably sit there and whine about how ugly their wives have become over the years,.. your man is proud to show you off. He is obsessed with you. Just tell him that he doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone by showing you off. I don’t know how you feel but please relax;.. everybody who saw the pictures liked what they saw. so if your neighbourhood saw them, then you are a local celebrity that every man fantasizes about.
My thanks to you all. From your insights I gained the strength and confronted him by leaving this site up on the computer for him to find. My emotions were all over the place as I did some more “snooping” into his email and learned some more of the people who he had shared my nude images with. I have to admit that in my soul searching it did turn me on as some of you had said. I can’t understand those feeling much less explain them. Anyways after he read the confession in the site he came to find me in the house and I was going about my daily things totally nude. He tried to ask why and I simply said that it was apparently how he wanted me to be seen by anyone at any time so why should he deserve any more of an explanation. I was so trying to hide being nervous and all. Then, to serve him right I went outside to where I had earlier moved my car into the back yard and washed my car in the daytime totally naked! Nobody driving past the house could easily see, but the way the yards all connect it is very open. Nobody complained or called the police on me. My confession is that this act of defiance also felt very liberating and turned me on inside very much. At least I know that my neighbors saw me and all my secrets and it was on my terms this time! I also sent some email to some of the friends he showed my pictures to and have received some nice replies. He and I still have not talked about it. I want to wait and also make him have to wait as well until I am ready. I am still dealing with all sorts of feelings but I wanted to let everyone know what has happened after so much support and advice. Thank you all again.
Tiffany… That’s awesome. Good for you.
When you do talk, let him know how angry and violated you feel… And how it turns you on. Don’t let him off the hook for what he did, but show him that he can be honest with you about anything and everything.
And make him wash the car naked next time. ;)
We have not talked about it yet. I told him I would let him know when I am ready. In the meantime I have received some very sexy email responses from guys he has shared my pictures with. I cannot explain exactly how or why it turns me on so much, but it does. I only wear a robe in the house now and even then only a little bit, otherwise I am going nude (and loving the feeling inside). But I am not sure if I crossed a line myself since one of the guys emailed me and then we chatted online. He told me how he fantasized about me for a while and it got me very excited. Then he showed himself on his webcam and I was amazed at his size! I never did anything like that before and it got me so turned on that I have to confess that I put on my cam too for him and we climaxed together. I know my husband wil read this and still I feel it serves him right. I am still confused but it feels so erotic I do not know what to do next or even if want to do anything different!
Tiffany, I still recommend getting a therapist. I really can’t stress that to you enough. If you don’t know what to tell him or her, start with telling her about this incident.
Your husband violated you not only by showing off these pictures but by taking them without your knowledge.. IMO opinion, that is really violating and he shows some signs of being an abuser and I’m sorry if you don’t like this advice but to me, you really so some signs of being a victim..
I’m not a therapist but I have been in therapy for 3.5 years for being sexually abused as a child.. I repressed it all until I was 40 years old. I’m not saying that this necessarily happened to you but I could see parts of myself when I read your post, I think that’s why I cared so much about it, I could see myself.. I was also married to a sexually abusive man and recently left him.
Please seek help
The human body is beautiful. It’s also your to do what you want with it. If you want to show it off to everyone it your right. But make sure it’s your decision and not someone elses.
AT first I felt a bit conflicted in my feelings between being upset and mad and other feelings I cannot describe. Now I feel a sense of sexual excitement at being seen nude on my terms. It is very hard to describe but in a sense it is like after my husband has already shown me off naked to so many strangers, I no longer realy feel any sense of shame at having my secrets seen by others. Reading the comments and emails from people I have contacted who have seen those pictures is also very potent.
I am still trying to decide my feelings towards my husband after all of this, and I really have not asked him how he feels about me being nude on the computer camera or even masturbating that way on the cam with men who see me naked. A month ago I never would have imagined doing this and now I am wondering what my next level is going to be.
I think your next level should be to get the f*ck out and take him for everything you have and get a good therapist.. You’re married to an abuser and you’re enabling him by ignoring this.. You seem like a nice person but you have issues (as do I) but I work through mine in therapy and my abusive “husband” is GONE!
“I was going about my daily things totally nude.” XD lol, lmao! That is soo hilarious, major burn too. That is awsome. Good luck. :)
ummm divorces his ass tht is mad disrespect nd take all his money nd try to find a way to delete those picture of the website
We had a long talk about trust and other issues last night. He had to come to me to tell me that he has to go out to the west coast for 2 weeks for his job and asked me about how and what I am feeling. I did tell him that I was shocked and hurt by what I discovered and felt I had been betrayed. Then he asked me about my newer feelings as I have expressed on here about feely sexy and showing myself on cam. I told him I am still figuring them out since this month has been such a rollercoaster. I got him to admit that he likes that I go naked around the house a lot and I was honest to him that it excited me but not in a way that was geared toward desiring him. He also had to admit that he deserved whatever I chose to do. We are going to use this 2 week period as a time apart to sort more out. I told him that I was not going to make him any promises at all at this point other than I was going to be true to myself and take steps as I felt I wanted to take.
It was really very uplfiting to me as well – since during this whole talk I was standing or sitting or moving about the living room totally naked. I don’t draw all the drapes and I know as the evening wears on anybody can see inside.
My nearby neighbors kind of know the whole deal and don’t seem to have any problems with it. Inside my head is a bit spinning as I am still confused but do feel a high sense of excitement. Thanks to all of the advice I am getting. I really do appreciate it as i try to figure out what my next thing will be. -Tiffany
Let us know how it all works out for you.
Tiffany… Just be careful. You’re on the knife’s edge of cheating on your husband (technically you did when you masturbated with that other guy), and when you start pushing boundaries, you can end up knocking your life over. You really need to find out from your husband what HIS limits are for you, and you need to tell him yours. Now. Before you see what’s next for you. Is he really ok with you web-cam’ing with other guys or is he just taking it as punishment for being such a creep? Because if he is just taking it… Eventually he’ll try to get back at you, probably by sleeping with someone else.
Point is Tiffany, your husband brought you to this point, but it doesn’t give you free licence to go ‘girl gone wild’, and you could damage those things that are most important to you in the process. Like your marriage. So explore what you need to, but MAKE SURE you establish boundaries with and for each other before you go any further.
What “Boundaries” or “limits” should she let her husband even think of trying to dictate to her. He crossed those boundaries an then some so many times in the past when he violated her trust and privacy. I think it is cool that she has the guts to turn the tables and to see what other men think of her looks after what her husband did to her all those years. Tiffany I hope you get all the good feelings you can girl – you earned them an let us know how it goes for you Honey!
Well, I did think quite a bit about what “Anon” said about boundaries, as well as Jamie’s advice. It is hard to define much less describe. My feelings are very different and also exciting all at the same time. My husband and I have spoken on the phone for a few minutes a couple of times. He is not stating boundaries or limits to me. He feels he is not in any position to do so. I have also gotten a lot of insight from men he had emailed my nude pictures to and his own comments with them about how it excited him to show me off. He had to admit to me that at some fantasy level he has in the past talked about me being with other men and such. He never expected to have to explain such things so he is also dealing with coming to grips of having to be honest. I am also flattered to some extent as well as taken aback at his betrayal. Complicated, I know.
As for boundaries in the “traditional sense” I really cannot see how to relate to such things. How am I supposed to continue to adhere to boundaries when for so many years he operated without any? Confusing? Yes. But I am also feeling such new and exciting feelings in this whole situation. I suppose the basic rule we “decided” on for me is to follow my feelings, and to be safe.
I must be honest here and confess that I truly LOVE being naked all (or most) of the time. It is a side of me I never imagined but have discovered I enjoy.
Friday night I had my back yard neighbors (married couple) come over for a while. They know the whole story and are very supportive of me. And yes, I was naked the whole time they were here. They suggested I try a nudist resort and said they might even join me in such a trip at some point.
In the past week since my husband has been out of town I have not “gone wild” but have had some more online encounters. A man I mentioned in previous posts that I have cammed with lives not far from here and there is a strong urge for us to be in the same room as we masturbate together. It is a temptation to me which heightens my feelings a lot.
Thanks to everyone for the insight and advice. — Tiffany
I say go for it. Do what you feel comfortable with doing. Just be sure to do it in a safe manner.
My husband is due to get back this weekend. I have to now confess that during the past two weeks I have worked thru a lot of feelings, and things felt very good on many levels… but mostly I will have to confess that I crossed a line.
What happened?
I just have one word for you: Bimbo
I tried to warn you Tiffany. Hope it works out for you, but I’d say you pretty much just let your husband off the hook for what he did and will now end up apologizing to him for what you did. Your probably going to try to defend yourself by pointing the finger at him, but the truth is, he put you on a pedastle (as unwanted as it was at the time) & you put him out in the cold. I’d say your only hope at this point is that he’s a bigger pervert than you and gets off on it.
Tiffany gets off on him being a pervert… Tiffany, you’re a bimbo and you won’t be anything more than a bimbo until you get away from him and take your life into your own hands
Get professional help!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again.. The way you think is NOT healthy!!!
I just discovered my husband did the same thing. It is so disturbing to find out. Trust not gone. You need to be careful, Only difference was that he was clinically depressed. Seen my GP and taking him next week so he has to say what he did. My GP has already agreed therapy is the way forward,
Need to talk about it, while you have him spread eagle bound, groined shaved, and post his pictures. He’ll get a kick out of that and it will be something I’m sure he’ll have a laugh about with you some day.
If you can accept what he did and forgive him, then all I can say is that you are one forgiving person! Of you can’t accept it, just leave him and move on.
This by the way is coming from a guy who gets off doing the same thing to his wife. Thousands have seen her nude photos, many are people she knows, including some of her family. If she found out, I wouldn’t expect her to stay with me, but if she did all I can say is that she would be very happy without sex lives going forward!
This might sound crass….But where are these pictures exactly?
Hmm.. where to begin? Short answer, your love life with your husband can become so much more exciting if you will keep your mind open and willing to see this from various perspectives. Most all the comments here are from prudes who conform to societies expectations.
anyways, there is no magic if he were to have told you what to do in bed or otherwise.. and while the way this was discovered, i’ll agree is disappointing to say the least, it is, a catalyst for you and your husband to explore new things, and i think you’re beginning to see that… I just hope that you will explore those with your husband instead of strangers.. (unless of course he is into that)
your decision, but i would encourage you to bring the cards to the table and get him to reveal all of his inner secrets about this kind of thing, and you and him take that, and make your own magic with it.. rather than throw your lives away and find some other prude to live with.
just my 2 cents..