RSSfar away and in love
I will try to make a long story short. Until today its been a little more than a year we met on a game on internet, in july last year we met in person. I am divorcing to be with him and i changed all my life to wait for the day he comes. He still lives with the mother of his 3 children and never has been married to her in his 16 year old relationship. We stopped the game and continue to talk on chat sometimes with camera mostley without it but the problem now is our conversations are not good, we know we love each other but something is wrong i feel it, i ask him but he says its me, of course i am the one going thru divorce (with a 3 year old son)but also he has always supported me in all ways until now that i feel him distant, i know i have aproched him sometimes in not a good way but we talk about it and i ask him to forgive me. We keep in contact but its not the same spark we had, i start a conversation and from his side nothing its me doing all the talking and when i ask do you want to tell me something his answer is “no nothing special” so i dont know what to do, what to say…. almost always his answer to my questions are short like : ok, yes or no, maybe” the last i said to him is i understand he has waited much time more than a year for me and he still is waiting, but i want to make him happy and i dont know how. I am confused on how to aproach him besides “Hi how are you? How was your day?” and then what? ………..???? Anything i say is never enough or good enough that is what i feel. I feel like we are in a standby mode until my divorce is resolved hopefully in 1 and 1/2 month but i dont want to loose him :( SNIFF (i dont think i will loose him but sometimes its just hard). So much time waiting and each in different continents (america 36 years old/europe 41 years old)and just waiting
Please help on what to do any creative ideas to do in this situation for the waiting period until i am divorced. Forgot to mention i was going to do a trip to visit him i was going to stay at his mothers house and then the next day i had to cancel all due to divorce i needed to be present for resolution on the days i had planned the trip and of course he was very disapointed and not good, after this incident all has been the way i described above. How can i make him happy again?
Distant Love on March 23rd 2008 in Confused
Anonymous Teen said on 24 Mar 2008 at 5:50 am # Quote
Be careful in general about this whole thing. He lives in a different continent, and you have a 3 year old child to think about. there must be another reason other then him that you left your husband though. My mom did the same thing with internet relationships. I hate her for it and i probably always will. It feels like she lied to me and betrayed me all this time. Shes now just become a very angry disatisfied person. Just think about the fact that maybe he is confused right now and whatever happens happens, but please put your child first, because one day you may have to tell him your story about why you broke up with his father and you dont want him to feel the same way that i felt.
Distant love said on 24 Mar 2008 at 4:36 pm # Quote
Thank you for your comment and yes there are many reasons i am leaving my husband this goes back since the day we married until now almost 5 years married and have talked about it several times and also talked about divorce after our child was born. My son is the the reason of my life yes i accept i have neglected him and when i see he demands atention i stop all and be for him I understand what you mean. This person i met last year and i love has been for me nonstop in many ways specially in such important things in my life with my son on how to potty train, make him sleep alone and even incourage him for karate class :) and both my son and him are very valuable in my life. I belive this man i love is worth giving it a try and this is why i dont want to loose him. Before i moved to the new apartment where I actually live and am divorcing the first room to be most beautifull was my son’s all theme “CARS” He loves it! and i see him happy every day he say to me Mama Im very happy I love you, this fills my day when all is down , and just to see his smile makes me forget all. Now i have more time for him all has changed for good. But my sentiment life is waiting for this love.
helpful teen said on 31 Mar 2008 at 8:14 am # Quote
It would be much better if u hold on to your husband, at least for the sake of the child.But if you still feel it is better to divorce,so be it.Lets call your far away love- A. Freaking out before a marriage is absolutely normal, and that is what A might be going through, right now. Tell him that you are always there for him and that you love him, no matter what.console him and make him feel secure and that he is doing the right thing in marrying you. tell him that you are ready to listen to anything he wants to tell you,even (boring)office stuff.loyalty and trust is VERY imp. in any relationship, and you must build that. it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t reply in big sentences or anything…u should keep making the effort to get something out of him…and eventually he will say something.and after a while if he still continues like this, maybe you could talk to a good friend of his and find out what is going on in his life.and if things STILL don’t work out after a while, then tell him how you are feeling…and hopefully things work out:)…so just keep trying and praying to GOD…whatever is supposed to happen,will happen.so don’t worry,keep smiling and and hope for the best.Be strong and face life’s challenges with courage!! :):)
willow said on 12 Apr 2008 at 3:46 pm # Quote
He is going cold on you because he doesn’t want to leave his life. He had a lot of fun with you. but online relationships come and go. I had a few that were a year or even 3, but in the end, it didn’t work. I hope you find the right thing to do in your heart. Your son should always come first.