Am I too young to be a dad?

Hi I’m a 15 year old boy from Britain and I had a girlfriend (who is 13) and we were Together for a long while and we met up and I didn’t intentuly but somehow I have made her preganate and at the time I dident know and she has told me 2 months later and there is another boy in her life now but she said I am like a brother to her I feel this is very wrong and I still have to help her with the child, as there are few months left I can’t help but feel guilt!

3 thoughts on “Am I too young to be a dad?

  1. I agree with “Joe” that your parents are a great resource and could help answer your questions.

    I do want to ask you if you practiced safe sex because you say you did not intend to get her pregnant but you do not elaborate. In the future ALWAYS wear a condom unless you intend to impregnate the other party. Even if the girl is on birth control, even if she is “infertile,” etc. a condom is the safest way to go if you are dead set on having sex with someone.

    As for the child, has the girl asked you to help raise him/her? You only say that she sees you as a brother. There are a lot of things you need to consider in this situation and it is likely that this conversation needs to be held with the girl or your parents.

    I wish you luck!

  2. Dear Young,
    Please stop feeling guilty and discuss this whole situation with your parents.
    They will be able to offer you the proper guidance.

    Take care now.

  3. Darling, I wish I could tell you all will be great, but unless you start taking yourself very seriously, that feeling of guilt will never go away. In fact it will intensity with each poor decision you continue to make until you finally mature, then once you mature you’ll find a new way to kick yourself in the butt for not having made better decisions as a youth. You’re 15, your brain is not even done developing, so how can you really raise another human being and provide them what they need? Even worse, your 13 year old girlfriend is in a shittier boat than you. She’s young, and by nature will have to devote a large portion of herself and her time to this child. Statistically, if she keeps this child she may not finish school, and may end up with 2 or 3 more illegitimate children before the age of 25. Honey, Kids are expensive. Very, very expensive. And they need a lot. Everything you got from your parent(s) growing up, you’ll want to give ten times as much to your child, but how can you if you’re working 8 to 10 hours a day to make ends meet? And I say 8 to 10 because if you have a part time job, you definitely won’t be able to survive. You either have to start learning a trade now, or make future plans to balance child care and school. In fact you will both need to continue school. Without education or mastery of a trade (skill), both of your lives will be incomplete for years to come, and your child (and any future children you have) will suffer immensely. Your comment alone is full of spelling errors, and I don’t say this to criticize you, but to help you understand that even though you may love this baby and your gf with all your heart, you have only been on this earth 15 years and therefore only have 15 years worth of knowledge. Let me put it to you like this: there are 35 year old’s on this earth who do not feel capable raising a child. The downside, my dear, is that raising a child, especially young in this day and age, is a very real struggle. Now, on the upside: you and your gf can consider adoption. Contrary to scary shows on television, a lot of loving families are out there and have the knowledge and resources to give your child a very good life. It’s a tough pill to swallow but it’s easily one of the most unselfish things you can do. If not, then yes both you and your girlfriend can learn to successfully parent this child, but you’re going to have to wisen up and get on your game FAST. That kid will be 15 by the time you’re 30, which is when most other people are just starting their adult lives and considering children. Either way, your kid is going to grow up very quickly, so there is no time to waste. Start paying attention in school, learning a trade and educating yourselves NOW. Maybe work out a system so one of you can go to school while the other works, and over the years take turns. Have a serious discussion with family members you trust about helping you succeed. Use government assistance now so 10 years from now you can be assistance free. Learn about how credit works in Britain so you can keep yours in great shape form early on, and start a savings NOW. Even if its only with government money, a savings will teach you financial responsibility. Once you start working, keep that going and you’ll have enough to help you out with a first homeowners program one day. You will need patience, and you will need to be steadfast and work everyday toward the goal of being a good, mature, adult parent who lives in good financial standing. Heck, you may even want to make a “just in case” savings because you never know how your 13 year old girlfriend will mature. You might want to hold off marrying her until you’re in your 20’s to make sure its what you both really want. Take what I say seriously, my dear. I had my first at 15, and now I’m 31 and he’s nearly 16 years old. The time flew by in a wink, and now I look at him and see someone who will be a man soon, only a year older than yourself. I spent many years in regret for not having spent my years more wisely when he was younger so that we’d have more now. I had two after him who I was also unprepared to raise. Fortunately for me, our lives are now coming together and I know everything is going to be alright. It may be late in the game, but I know once they’re fully adults I will have done something to make our lives quite lovely. Many positive things have happened for us, so I find its okay to let go of the past… but dear your journey is just starting. So please, really consider adoption, but if you can’t, then please, start taking your life seriously while your child is a baby because once they’re older and have needs they’re going to need you to be smart. It isn’t just about money, it’s about your child’s emotional well-being. Child raising is difficult as they are very over emotional, illogical creatures well into their early 20’s, with you being no exception. Being a “coo” parent is a lie; raising a child well will require a lot of “how-to” books for you to read, and will require nearly all your time. While your friends are going to college parties and traveling, you will be at home. While everyone’s taking risks, you will be at home. While everyone’s dating different people, you will be at home, preparing for life best you can with the tools you have. Think about this seriously, and be honest with yourself about what you can and cannot do. There is no shame is admitting this might be too much to handle. There is no shame in giving it your best and realizing your best might not b enough. Ask yourself if you are truly meant to raise this child, and if so you better grab life’s lapels and start steering this horse NOW.

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