7 years no proposal, my eye is wondering
Posted by Polyamorous in Confused on Mar 31st, 2010 | 5 commentsI’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 years and we’ve lived together for 5 years. We’re both 25 and he’s graduated from college and I’m about to graduate from grad school and I moved away from my family to be with him during college. I love him so much but he doesn’t seem to want to marry me. All he wants to do it play MMORPGs with stupid people. I even bought a subscription to the game because thats the only way he would really talk to me and spend time with me and prevent fights. Recently I quit the game and we are clashing again. When I bring it up he shuts down and says he’s not married and doesn’t know when he will be. When I see my friends getting proposed to and married and pregnant it makes me cry. I want to marry him and have his children and grow old with him but I really do not see it happening.
Recently I’ve been talking to a guy I knew in high school. He’s so amazing and I admit my eye is wondering as much as I love my boyfriend. I drove 100 miles to go have lunch with the guy from my high school and I sort of hoped it turned into something more. It didn’t because he wants to honor my relationship and he says he doesn’t want me to leave my boyfriend for him. I think it’s because he thinks if I’m doing this with my current relationship what will stop me in a new relationship.
I’m so screwed.
5 Responses to “ “7 years no proposal, my eye is wondering”
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…..where to start from an outsiders’ perspective. well, don’t follow your boyfriend around, live your own life. think about what you really want from your life. realistically you’ve got about 50 years! and you could meet so many other people, why do you need to settle down now? do it in 10 or 20 years time, there’s so much else to do which will make your boy troubles seem distant!
also if you can’t have a meaningful conversation with this adult person how can you conceive of marrying him or having children with him? rpgs are not a relationship. and he’s 25, time to grow up a bit! and if your eyes are wandering now then how can you see yourself married to him?! if you’ve been together 7 years and you’re 25, people change a LOT in that time, it’s the change from teenager to real person. and just because people around you are settling down and getting married doesn’t mean you have to, it’s a free country. think about it, if you stay with him you might end up like the people trapped in unhappy marriages wishing they had done something before it was too late! it might be a big shock and a scary change but in the grand scheme of your life, worth it. you’re both young, you can change everything you want to. it’s some hard decisions, but not impossible.
Sweetheart you are 25 been with the same man for 7 years.
He is not interested in getting married maybe not now or not ever. You don’t seem compatible.
I too dated someone from age 20 for over a decade. I missed out on so much of my social growth and opportunities (I wanted to go away to school but stayed for him) for someone who I was not compatible with AND to top it off I found out that he was not missing out on his as he was cheating on me.
I don’t think your man is cheating but he living his life they way he wants to irrespective of what you want and you are just going along with his life. This behavior does not change.
If I could turn back time for myself, I would not have missed out on the fun of dating in my twenties and the potential opportunity to meet someone that I was compatible with.
As relationships grow older they do not get better. The beginning is supposed to be the best part and yours (like mine did) sounds like it sucks.
I usually don’t post to these things but go have fun with someone who wants what you want from a relationship. I wouldn’t advise jumping into another relationship right away. Break up with your boyfriend (I do not normally say this but I don’t think you will be happy with this guy) AND Go Date! It will be weird at first but believe me a year or two of getting over the feeling of notbeing with him will beat a lifetime of Misery with someone who obviously doesn’t give a damn about making you happy.
My finding out my boyfriend was cheating was the best thing that ever happened to me because I knew I would not have been happy with him and I bet you know too.
Good Luck!
Hi! Im not here to judge, just to offer some insight from the outside.
Break up with him. Separate and give one another space. Even at 25, you’re still learning about yourself, what you like and dislike. It’s easy to feel as if your completely compatible with someone else WHILE your in a crappy relationship.
If you’re broken up now, you wont feel as if you’re leaving your current bf for someone else, and they wont judge you based on your decision.
Hopefully, whatever you choose, I wish you the best. I pray that you’re confident in your choice and that you continue to look to the future; a better one :)
Sincerely J
Why are you still with him? He’s not making any effort whatsoever for you as if he doesn’t care whether you’re happy or not. Reverse the situation – if you were to behave like this — what state of your emotions would that be a result of? You deserve better.
I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years my guy and I are only 23!still quiet young to tie the knot!but we are serious and faithful!but sweety the only answer u will get is if u speak to him not us! If u want the truth simply sit him down be practical not emotional you’re likely to get a straight answer when you seem balanced!maybe he is contemplating it maybe he isn’t interested but either way you have a RIGHT to know!goodluck