Running Miles

I am 15 yrs old

I am obsessed with jogging. Sometimes its too late to jog outside so I do it on the spot in my room, and I cant stop. Even when my family members tease and humiliate me about it I still jog on the spot.

Its a compulsion.

Today mom, you made a dinner joke that you no longer hear my mini earthquakes anymore.

If only you knew I resorted to cutting the soles of my feet with a razor so it hurts whenever I walk on them.

So I can stop jogging at night.

So I can be normal

4 thoughts on “Running Miles

  1. You’re your own person, you are not your mom, or any of the rest of your family, so naturally you’re going to enjoy different things to them. From how you have described yourself, jogging is what makes you who you are. If it truly makes you happy, and you can’t stop yourself from doing it, then why force yourself? Perhaps you should look into some sort of athletics team, and find a niche where you’re accepted for who you are. People may laugh at you now, but as i see it, you can either change who you are to shut them up, or be yourself and make the most of your life. Use jogging to your advantage, show them how amazing you are at it, and be proud of who you are.

    As for cutting the soles of your feet, i can’t even begin to describe how much that bothers me… I have a friend who has recently started cutting too, and she does what she does because she likes the ‘power’ and the thrill she gets from it, and she hopes it will stop her violent tendencies. It allows her to be the one in control. But that’s not true at all. She’s not in control when she does what she does, it’s more an act of desperation. If she wanted to be in control she should have attended her counselling sessions, and perhaps she could have made it clear what her issue is, the extent of it, and how i could help. If your mother doesn’t know you’re cutting the soles of your feet, how could she possibly know how badly it’s affecting you?

    I know it’s hard to see things from another perspective when you’re so used to what you already think. I’m not you, and you’re more than capable of thinking for yourself, but if i were you i’d sit down and have a serious talk with your family. Tell them how much jogging means to you, and the extents to which you have gone as a result of them joking about you. It can’t possibly feel good to be mocked for what you love the most, but be proud of who you are. Don’t try to stop yourself, respect who you are and others will do the same! :)I hope everything goes well for you, and i’m sure you’ll be amazing whatever you do!

  2. 15. You are 15 years of age. I don’t know what to say about the running or your family but with the whole razor thing, you need to stop. It’s totally stupid.
    I once jabbed my nails in my arm as hard as I could when my dad pissed me off and the next day I saw what I did to myself and thought that I was a total idiot for doing this.
    Look, all I’m trying to say is that. Letting your anger, stress or depression out on hurting yourself is not a good idea. I bet you are a beautiful young girl, and you shouldnt be doing things like this to yourself. You should be living your life out! You should be smileing(:
    Don’t be doing this. And, with your parents. You should just tell them to; stop all of the mean things they are saying and to start helping you.
    And yes, this might sound hard to do. But, in the end if you do actually do it. You might be surprised with what might change in your life.

    Continue to smile. You have a whole life ahead of you, don’t live it out like this. Change your future.

    From; IC,(:

  3. Dear you r completed normal, take it in a positive way, I am sure you don’t have any problem with your weight, maybe you can start running marathon, and then you would meet people who likes the same things like you, and then when you get famous for been one of the best athletes in the world , lets see who is going to laugh :)

  4. Yes you are normal but you must let your Mom know what you are doing so that she can help you out a bit. You seem to have a compulsion to run but cutting yourself is extemely self destructive and not at all a good way to deal with your compulsion. Please don’t ever cut yourself ever again. That again is not solving your problem. You would benefit from seeing a medical doctor and then getting referred to therapist who can help you sort out your compulsion and self destructive tendencies. You will get better and that will happen when you let others close to you know what is happening in your life. Take care now and please get started on this today.

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