father..,

Posted by in Childhood on Jul 25th, 2010 | 5 comments

You molested me… I would prey you would stop.
But when you didn’t…I would eventually begin to enjoy the pleasure that I felt. I feel gross that I enjoyed it.
I try to tell myself, that you played with my clit and I had no choice, it was the part that felt good.
I would cry afterward and feel gross.
I never wanted you to molest me. You just did.
It was wrong of you, you were suppose to love and protect me.
Instead now you killed yourself and I’m left with soo many daddy issues,emotional and sexual issues.

The fact that you exposed me to molestation made way for me to become a freak at a young age, going through your playboy magazines and feeling unsatisfied, until i found the magazines with really erotic poses and penetration. I would experiment pleasuring myself with house hold tools…

I feel disgusting that I sometimes think of rape in order to feel aroused.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?????!!!!!!!!!

5 Responses to “ “father..,”

  1. Anonna says:
    July 25, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    You’re having normal feelings about a bad, horrible situation. Please seek out professional help and work on your issues, good luck it does get better

    Reply
  2. The Salt says:
    July 27, 2010 at 11:23 am

    Jesus.
    I’m perfectly serious

    Reply
  3. chakoo2 says:
    July 31, 2010 at 12:18 am

    Please heed The Salt and Anonna advice and Dont judge yourself harshly, be a kind judge to yourself,forgive self, because – using Anonna words here “You’re having normal feelings about a bad, horrible situation” Please note that there is hope, many many people have gone through this nasty experience and today they are leading normal life. put away the magazines or anthying else that is acting as a firewood to your desire, starve that urge by all means and soon that hold will depart from you and be free. I feel your pain and praying the best will happen to you. bye

    Reply
    • Anonna says:
      August 1, 2010 at 1:35 am

      Absolutely, I’m an incest survivor myself. Just be committed to getting well, use whatever help you can get

      Reply
  4. Kiwimaid says:
    May 6, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    You know, masturbation & fantasy are quite normal, abused or not.

    You are assuming that these fantasies are abnormal, I assure you that they are completely normal.
    Go to a counselor, they will tell you its normal too..

    All the best :)

    Reply

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