Domination
Posted by Anonymous in Childhood on Oct 9th, 2007 | 4 commentsAs a boy I was ritually abused sexually and the adults who were supposed to protect me were indifferent, so when a girl my age came to me and demanded sex I didn’t hesitate to satisfy her every wish. How she knew the way I was is still a mystery. Through my life I have always been vulnerable to dominant women and sometimes I think I would have been better off to have died young.
4 Responses to “ “Domination”
Leave a Reply
Subscribe
You are not alone. Ritual abuse is much more common that people want to think. (especially when you consider that it also includes things like clergy abuse, which people for some reason don’t have a problem accepting the existence of… why do they struggle with people doing hideous things and abusing by twisting different ideologies? but I digress.) And it is also very common for people who have been sexually abused in any way to have the kind of experiences you describe. If you go to (for example) online or offline meetings of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Survivors of Incest Anonymous, Abuse Survivors Anonymous, etc., you will hear many stories like yours.
More importantly, your life doesn’t have to keep being like this. I’ve had similar experiences and I can attest to that! For me the way out was through twelve-step programs, which I’ve found to be a really great way to deal with the effects of abuse. I started recovering memories of sexual abuse not long after I started going to 12-step meetings and working to make my life a safer place. That was almost five years ago now. It still took me a year or two to accept that I had been ritually abused. Last year I finally became able to say that I no longer had any abusive people in my life for the first time ever – not at work, not in my friendships, nowhere. Now I am in a healthy adult relationship for the first time and it seems so weird to me – but so good!
If you need someone to talk to about this or have questions you can contact me – that goes for anyone reading this. But let me know where you found me because I get a lot of random questions from different places :)
Cady,
Thanks.
How do I contact you? I clicked the link on your comment and saved the URL, but didn’t see any contact information
I guess this thing takes the email address but doesn’t show it. You can post comments in my journal (that url; this one is different!) or contact me at gambini at gmail dot com.
I to was a victim of this despicable abuse,
I’m not sure how long you went through it,
Mine lasted three whole years,
It felt like a lifetime,
I hate the thought of having a man touch me,
But when it comes time I ache for them to take control
I hate feeling like its my choice.
Everyday i feel like dying,
Everyday i wish i wasnt here,
I guess i’m yet to find something worth living for,
I hope you do better than me