My Secret Plans

Posted by Anonymous in Spouse on Nov 17th, 2010 | 4 comments

My husband told me he wanted a divorce a month ago. This is the fifth time he’s told me that. The last time was a year ago and I told him to never make that threat again unless he means it. The same week my husband told me he wanted a divorce, my cousin invited me to spend Thanksgiving with her family and I accepted, thinking that I’d be moved out by then. Normally, my husband invites his friends and his mother to our house and I do all the cooking. I’ve told him that I wish he’d discuss these things with me before he invites people over, but he keeps doing it.

Now my husband is acting like nothing is wrong (the divorce was never mentioned again) and doesn’t know that I’m leaving town for Thanksgiving (or that I’m moving out). Our anniversary is the weekend after Thanksgiving and we traditionally spend the weekend where we spent our honeymoon.

If I told him my plans, he’d pout and be mad and I’m afraid he’ll get violent so I haven’t told him. He keeps telling me to stay out of his business, so I am.

Maybe I’ll be moved out by next Thanksgiving, but that will be a miracle.

I feel guilty for skipping out on our anniversary weekend and leaving him holding the bag for Thanksgiving dinner.

I changed my mind about kids

Posted by Nayarit in Spouse on Nov 15th, 2010 | 3 comments

Before getting married both husband and I decided we wanted kids. A few months after our wedding, I told my husband that I was ready to start a family, but he asked me to wait a few more years, as he was going to school and had yet to start a career. I was very disappointed, and 4 months later I told him that I couldn’t wait, that I wanted to have a baby now. He asked me to wait 3-4 more years! I had no choice as I didn’t want to “force” him…2 years later, I thought about it deeply and seriously, and decided that I didn’t want kids after all!
So I told him that I was NEVER going to have kids, that I had changed my mind, and he was totally shocked! He didn’t expect this from me. He says that I have misled him and he wouldn’t have married me if I had told him that I never wanted children.

He is now freaking out because I’m getting close to 40 and he sees that I have NOT changed my mind. Quite the contrary: every day I am happier and happier about my decision.

I Miss My Ex

Posted by ShiningStar in Spouse on Nov 13th, 2010 | 6 comments

I miss my ex-husband like crazy. We were married for 18 years. He fell in love with a younger woman. I hear through the grape vine that his new marriage is a disaster. Everyone hates his new wife including family, co-workers and her ex as well. If it doesn’t work out, and he wants me back, I will go back to him. Why? In spite of his faults, he was my best friend.

I want a baby…

Posted by Anon in Spouse on Nov 13th, 2010 | 2 comments

..just not with you.

Your family already treats my children like outsiders, especially my daughter. If I gave them a “real” grandchild, it would be so much worse.

Also, I have learned in the time we have been under the same roof, that you are an incredibly selfish man. Not at all who you seemed to be when we dated. Not even who you seemed to be when we first moved in together.

Before we dated, I had thought you were selfish, spoiled and self-indulgent. I thought you were arrogant. Now, I know. It took me nearly having a nervous breakdown for you to tell your mom to back off and stop gossiping/spreading lies/ and emotionally abusing me and the kids.

Now that you have to work 40 hours a week, you act as though you are the only person in the world who has to do that. You seem to resent it and your resentment lands firmly at the kids feat. You have hardly a kind word for the kids. The very things you yell at them about (a paper left here or there, a book out of place, a dish not put away) are the very things YOU yourself do.

The kids and I do everything around the house. All the laundry, all the dishes, all the cooking, all the cleaning, and we keep things much cleaner than you. We try to make our home a happy place. They really loved you, you know? They looked up to you. They thought you were cool. It has nothing to do with you doing your parental duties, and calling them out on things. All of that is past tense because of the way you talk down, call them names, pass judgment. Saying no is fine. Reminding someone to put something away is fine. YELLING, calling names, belittling, inventing voices that sound mentally deficient when you pretend to be them, has destroyed all your credibility.

I, have however, raised my children so that they respect your position as surrogate father, even if they no longer have respect for you.

I am afraid this is not going to last much longer. My dreams of another child are dashed to hell. If we had a baby, I’d just be a single mom who happens to be married. I can’t do that by myself. So my clock ticks on. And we plan our escape.

I thought I could be better

Posted by Anon in Spouse on Nov 10th, 2010 | 3 comments

you always said how diferent i was from the others you were married to. When you compared me to your first ex tonight you shattered what was left of me that the physical pain didn’t make impossible to bring out. I’ve been slowly taking many oxy’s that were given to me by my doctor after surgery. I hope its enough. If i am truly like that person, then there is nothing left to live for. My kids deserve better than that and you need to not be destroyed by someone you thought would take you away from all the past and heal you. Im sorry i couldn’t..or maybe i could but just not fast enough.

I failed you terribly and since i don’t have the right or permission to give you my collar and wedding ring back so you can start again and live a good full life somehow. I even failed my promikse to not txt you when you left, but truth be told i had a moment of being scared because of the oxys i took..you refused to come home before the hour was up i guess thats my sign..im no good and can’t even not txt you when you leave for a time out. I guess I am like her. if i had a gun right now it would already be over.i wish you didn’t have to be coming home to see this. I don’t want you to stop me or call the doctor if you do find out what i did. Just let me go. never forget that i love you with all my heart and soul and that for me..you were the only one. i knew your asking me to marry you was too good to be true. odd im not afrtaid to die now..i had that one mopment of fear when i broke my own promise and txted you. b ut its gone now this must be the right thing to do.

good bye my husband my first and true husband.

a certainty

Posted by Anon in Spouse on Nov 9th, 2010 | 1 comment

There are times when you look into the face of the person you swore to love, and there is nothing left.
You hurt me. I believed in the dream and so I gave everything to you. You still don’t get it because you and I are different and you only see through your own perspective. I don’t think you’ve ever loved me, only taken all I am and asked for more. I am not strong enough yet, and I am so scared. But I am leaving you.

He’s unable to take care of us

Posted by Dumbgirl in Spouse on Nov 8th, 2010 | 1 comment

I’m broke. I have two kids. My husband is unable to grow up and take care of us. He can’t earn enough to support himself, much less a family. I’m tired and scared. I’ve out grown him on every front. He’s a boy not a man.

My father told me that he was like that before I married him. My father was right, and I was too immature to listen, or heed advise. How I wish I had. Now my life is ruined with no way out.

you broke my heart

Posted by Hurting in Spouse on Nov 8th, 2010 | 2 comments

When you met him 4 months ago you changed. When I found out 3 months ago you ended it and I got to hear that you don’t love me or even like me and that I was a terrible husband and father.
Now things seem to be improving with my efforts.
After 18 years I cry everyday waiting to hear the words I love you. As promised I will stop saying it.

wedding

Posted by anonymous in Spouse on Nov 4th, 2010 | 9 comments

i dont think i can ever forgive my husband for ruining our wedding day. its a day i put so much effort into (he helped with the ******* cake…woot!) and he completly ruiend it that i didn’t want to touch him, be around him or say i love you to him. THE DAY OF OUR WEDDING. this lasted for about a week. i cancled our honeymoon because of his stupid actions. i will never have another wedding day, and i will never get to go on a real honeymoon. and i think even if we tried it would just remind me of the dissapointment he poured on me that day. dont get me wrong, he is a wonerful wonderful man. but i dont know why on that specific day he chose to do the things he did. that day of all days. and its been 8 months and he still hasn’t even tried to make it up to me. he said sorry, but i told him he needs to do something BIG to make this better. but nothing, i feel like giving up the hope that he might do something, because everytime i think he’ll pull through for me…it dosn’t happen.

I should’ve Listened

Posted by I'm_Just_Sayin in Spouse on Nov 3rd, 2010 | 2 comments

Four months ago I got married to my now wife. She was a very sexy, attentive lover and a very sweet person who act like she had plenty in common with me. I mean she said she liked to fish, ride motorcycles, and many other things that I like, plus she said she loved me. So I thought she was my soul mate. But her daughter knew her well. person who She would ask me , are you sure you want to marry my mother. I would say yea, I’m sure. She’d say you sure.

So soon as we got married she was this very loving wife in whom I was deeply falling in love with. Then all of a sudden she flipped. For know apparent reason she stopped having sex with me. She never touches me. She stays at the computer at all times. When she comes home she goes straight to the computer. She doesn’t even speek to anyone in the house unless guess are around. She act like she loves me when there are people around. She is a phony.

Her daughter warned me that she was in fact crazy and a phony. I should’ve Listen to her. She wants me to adopt her and put her mother out. She is a terrible mother and a terrible wife. I don’t like her at all. What have I done to myself.

My ex husband loved me better…

Posted by Anonymous in Spouse on Oct 7th, 2010 | 5 comments

I thought you loved me better then anyone else ever had. But lately I feel so forgotten and unloved. I am pregnant, and I know that you may feel weird sometimes about showing me affection because I have a baby in me, but come on! Its YOUR child that you put inside me! We used to have sex 3 times a week…then it went to once a week…now to never. This hurts me so badly, and makes me feel so insecure and unattractive. My ex husband could never get enough of me, even when we had a child together. He always wanted me, was always touching me. It was alot easier to feel pretty and good about myself when your so big with a baby when your spouse constantly wants you. I wish you felt like he did, I wish you treated me how he did. Always doting on me, talking about the baby, and how beautiful I was. I just feel so alone and ugly now with you. I find it hard to believe that you can go from having a sex drive to it becoming completely nonexsistent. When I try to initiate it, you just ignore me. And you dont even notice when I am laying next to you crying because of it. What happen to your feelings for me? Why cant you be a little more giving with your love now, especially when I am going through so many changes because I am having your baby?

Tired of my crapy sex life.

Posted by Robert in Spouse on Oct 5th, 2010 | 12 comments

I can’t believe I am doing this. Ok, I am tired of having sex once a month with my wife. Trust me, I have tried talking to her. I have tired being romantic. She says she is tired all the time. She makes more money than me so she indirectly uses this to avoid having sex with me. She says she works a lot. So do I. She is always stressed. So am I. I wish she made more of a damn effert. I know she is not seeing anyone else. I kinda wish she was so I could leave her. We have a child together and this is why I have not left. I would feel guilty leaving my child because I want more sex. This has become a problem over the years and I am angry. I am so angry that I don’t want to have sex with her. I know this does not make sense since I said I did. I am mad. Ok, thank you all for letting me vent.