Currently Browsing: Spouse

I hate my husband

Posted by in Spouse on Apr 22nd, 2011 | 11 comments

For the past 5 years I cared for my ailing mother. After discussing care options with my husband, he suggested we move her into our home. My husband and I had only been married for 3 years when this life changing event took place. This turned our lives upside down and we did not receive the support from my siblings that had been promised. However, I managed to be a good wife, take care of my mother, and maintain my career and our household. I was juggling so many things I lost track and realized this was affecting my relationship with my husband. A year after after moving my mother in with us, we enrolled in couple’s therapy to improve our communications and I thought we were a strong couple.

My mother passed peacefully in her sleep last year and while I mourn her passing I welcomed the privacy and freedom to “love on my husband.” However, in January my husband told me that he has been engaging in emotional and sexual affairs for several years. The only reason he told me was because one of his “friends” threatened to call me when she found out he was married. I am devastated. At my request, my husband has moved out of the house and I have filed for legal separation. He has begged for forgiveness again and again but I feel I can never trust again. I hate him for his infidelity and his weakness. I am now in counseling to help me sort out my thoughts and anger issues.

PPD and Trust Issues

Posted by in Spouse on Apr 18th, 2011 | 3 comments

I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband I are head over heels in love with her. I am beyond grateful for this however I feel helpless and lost. I have no motivation to get out of bed lately. He does help around the house but I feel like garbage when the house is a mess and am behind on the laundry. He says he understands but I don’t think he does. I feel like a failure that I can’t keep up and have days where I feel like sleeping all day. His mother drives me crazy and even though she asks if I need help I refuse it. She is extremely judgemental and hypocritical and will just run to his brothers girlfriend to trashtalk me – which is why I refuse her offers to help. The other issue I have is the feeling my husband will go back to his ex. She bothered us in the beginning of our relationship and even though I made sure he put an end to it I eel his feelings for her are still there. I hate that she lived in this house before me and that he continued to speak to her after he started dating me. I resent him for being “nice” to her bc he felt sorry that she trusted nobody but him. I have no compassion for people like her that just walk out on a relationship for no reason other than being young and childish and then try to return after he moved on and then try to sabotage our relationship. :’(

married under pressure

Posted by in Spouse on Apr 18th, 2011 | 7 comments

i was pressured by my parents to marry my husband though i loved someone else. my husband is nice and kind but we’re so different that i just cant love him..i try so hard..but i feel nothing for him…and i cant bear to have him touch me…and i keep thinking of my lost love who i couldnt marry because of religious differences between our families…i still love him and he still loves me…and i just cant help but hate and resent my husband everyday though its not his fault that im married to him but my parents’ fault….now i dont know what to do..

My Husband Loves Money More Than Me

Posted by in Spouse on Apr 16th, 2011 | 7 comments

My husband only really cares about money. My eldest son died 3 years ago and still all my husband does is fight with me about money and never talks about the issues of our dead child. I am so angry with him at the moment, I wish I could hit him until his head bursts open. He is such a selfish bastard that only thinks of himself and doesn’t care what anyone else is going through. I have to get away from him, but what about our other children. i am so sick and tired of this sh*t!

I’m leaving you one day

Posted by in Spouse on Mar 24th, 2011 | 6 comments

When the time is right, I am leaving. I am in love with another man. This man you know but don’t know. He is in love with me and makes me feel like nothing else matters to him but me and his kids! When you thought him and I were over- we were still loving each other and never stopped.

I am sorry this is happening but him and I can’t help what we feel for each other. I love you but I am IN LOVE with someone else!

xoxo

Verbal Abuse

Posted by in Spouse on Mar 20th, 2011 | 11 comments

The person I am married to is not the same man that people see out in public. I wish he was, he treats the neighbors, his customers, his sales reps, and any female or wife of a friend like they are royality. But in private he has a very different personality. He told me the other night when he was yelling at me for something I did not do correctly the I was lucky he hadn’t already left me
He treats and talks to me like I am a four year old.
I stand at my fathers gravesite every week and beg him with all the strength that is left in me to save me.

You play the cards you are dealt in life, I am requesting a re-deal, only this time he isn’t one of the cards I get.

Betrayed by my husband

Posted by in Spouse on Mar 18th, 2011 | 9 comments

I love my husband, yet I have to leave it it seems. I’ve been punishing him for over a year for betraying and lying to me and it seems I can not forgive/forget.

He reminds me of my father, of my mother. I feel they both abandoned me. I was a small kid, they both smoked, both got cancer and died before I turned 14. I’m twice this age now and still blame them, blame myself….as much as we all say” let go” it is the hardest thing and the only thing that makes me hold on to them, think of them…it’s terrible.

he lied to me before we got married that he didn’t do drugs, yet he does, occasionally and I hate him for ruining everything I hoped for. He was suppose to be everything they couldn’t be in my life…the protector, the savior, my best friend, someone I could admire and respect.

I’m heartbroken…..he has lied about so many things yet claims he loves me.

not sure where the cycle ends or begins with me, him, my past….he is just not who he said he was. I feel betrayed the way I felt betrayed by my parents. yes I know…no one chooses cancer yet my entire life I believed if they didn’t smoke, if they didn’t do this or that perhaps they would still be here.

i’m a mess sitting over divorce papers trying to make sense out of all of this, feeling it’s too late, yet holding onto I don’t even know what….perhaps my own promise/vow for better or worse….it’s as if he’s not someone I fell in love with and I know it is easy to love what seems perfect but cocaine? occasional or not, that’s too much for me to bear….

is that my challenge in life? to marry someone who challenges the deepest part of me I have not digged up in years. In the end we have no trust left, no friendship, I live in fear like a little girl because his friends are shady….drowning in what ifs and could’ves would’ve should’ves….

how do you deal with major disappointments and betrayals…how do you truly get over if not by closing this chapter and starting over….yet, it seems life keeps on looping back, rewinding, replaying, like a ******* musical box that someone keeps winding up.

THE WAY IT IS

Posted by in Spouse on Mar 18th, 2011 | 8 comments

besides the cheating and secrecy- my husband would be the perfect man. hes a patholigical liar and he sucks at it- everytime he lies i feel like hes calling me an idiot to my face.
other than those things- hes romantic, a good provider, the best lover ive everrrrr had, the best daddy for my kids i could ask for, he tells me im pretty every day even though im sure thats another lie.
thats the thing with the cheating/secrecy/lies- its killed my self image. my motivation to do me. i feel insulted directly. every girl its happened with, in my mind i logically know is uglier or fatter and a hell of alot more boring and probably couldnt be half the wife and mom i am- but the actions he takes leave me feeling the worst kind of opposite of the truth.
but again- besides all of this- PERFECT. all the people who we hang out with say they wish they had love like ours, that were sickeningly sweet, that were made for eachother. then he does this- and while im not shocked- everyone else is- some ppl even blame me when it happens.

so ive ended on the conclusion that all men are born cheaters- cuz how could someone i love so much, thats so perfect in every other aspect- do what he does?

No longer attracted to spouse

Posted by in Spouse on Mar 17th, 2011 | 2 comments

We’ve tried and tried to recapture what we once felt but the attraction is gone. No amount of therapy or time alone can resolve this problem. I now realized that passion can’t just can’t be forced, just like it couldn’t be stifled when we first met.

Someone better

Posted by in Spouse on Mar 15th, 2011 | 5 comments

I only stay with my girlfriend out of pity. I want to leave her but after all we’ve been through I still care and I don’t want to put her through the heartbreak and loss in this difficult time in her life. The relationship would be tolerable if we didn’t argue all the time over trivial little things. It makes me feel horrible about myself but I know as soon as someone better and more attractive comes along I’d cheat on her just so she would break up with me instead of me having to. She brings out the best and worst in me. I think I’d be happier alone.

Husband of Mine

Posted by in Spouse on Feb 26th, 2011 | 34 comments

Dear Husband,

I clean your clothes, and hang them up exactly the way you want them.I use the detergent you like also.

I care of our child 24/7 and I never complain to you. I make sure our baby is fed, clean and happy. I stayed holding our child for many hours several times because of her colic. You left the room because you ‘needed’ to sleep and the baby was keeping you up. Even though I pulled a 72 hour shift a few days before that. Regardless of the circumstances, I care for her and leave you to do whatever you want – without saying a word.

I make all your meals, slowly preparing them exactly the way you want them. I wake up early in the morning to fix you breakfast, and once you wake, I serve you with a smile on my face. You ask for more things, and I serve you promtly. Without hesitation.

I keep the home clean and tidy. I watch you undress in our bedroom and throw your clothes on the floor. Without word, I pick them up and clean them.

Regardless what you need help with, I help. With a huge smile on my face and laughs pouring out of my mouth. You swear and become aggrivated. You tell me to leave once you reach a certain point.

If there is a dissagreement, especially in front of our child, I will agree with you and tell you you are right, even though I don’t believe so. When you don’t take my advice and the situation becomes messy, I remain positive and help you clean it up – even if it costs us 10K.

I give you sex whenever and however you want it. And I act the part you want, even when I am not in the mood. I scream and become ‘dirty’, because thats what you like. I will keep my legs open and my mouth shut.

I protect you. Regardless of what our family and friends say – you are the best husband in the world. My body aches everytime I say this line.

But this is how I will remain to you – submissive and loving.

But once our child is grown and leaves the house, so will I.

With Love,
Your Wife

My Cheating Husband

Posted by in Spouse on Feb 24th, 2011 | 3 comments

I know people are tired of reading about men and their infidelities but I am here to proclaim that I’m a good women. I helped build this man from a high school drop out to a GED student currently serving in the United States Army. I know that this sounds strange;a career oriented women with goals of her own, not to mention that I’m a junior in college. But I’m 26 married with no children and I feel lonely. I sometimes find myself wondering should I leave him or not. He claims that he has not done anything with a female but that doesn’t seem to bother me, what bothers me is why drag me all the way from NY to live NC and treat me this way. I fought him yes and yelled but that doesn’t solve anything. I feel terrible to lead him on but after what he did I totally lost respect for him. I could honestly say that I don’t think I love him anymore nor in love with him. He’s actually getting ready to leave to Kuwait and I am going to leave him while he’s gone. I have to for the betterment of me. I know that he loves me but I found out that he’s been denying me while in training, one women said that she didn’t even know he had a wife. I could honestly say that after what I herd I didn’t cry I was actually relieved, I now understand what to look next in a man

Page 2 of 1012345678910