Secret Confessions

Certain times of year play with my head. The absence of light makes me suicidal and depressed. I try to tell my friends, but they don’t understand…not even my Best Friend. I want to sleep all day, never leave the house, not speak, all because it is so gloomy here….i hate this and i hate my life….

That’s all it takes. I can’t have a “best friend” because in a period of two years I will hate her. It has happened four times. It started when I was eight years old and hasn’t stopped since then. I don’t know what’s the problem, maybe it was the fact that all of them were using me and I was stupid enough to believe they were my friends; either way I hate the four of them. I can’t see them because I get mad, full of rage and with desires to punch them.

My ex cheated on me and gave me an STD. Now I am so scared that every single time I start to care for someone that they will reject me because of it.

I feel used and dirty and tainted and it isn’t even because I was out slutting around that I got it.

Add to all that, any person I care about and enter in a physical relationship will always be in danger of getting it from me.

I hate this.

i don’t believe in religion, matter of fact, i absolutely hate religion. i am a bat mitzvahed jewish 15 year old girl, yet i don’t like considering myself a religion. i absolutely do not believe in god. and i hate it when people are religious. overly religious. yet i respect it. i hate how ignorant people are, and it kills me and bothers me to no end. i feel like a failure sometimes because of my beliefs, but i will not.. WILL NOT believe in anything unless it is proved to me. there is no proof of god, there is no proof of jesus. there is no proof of moses. i think its pathetic when people have to use religion to feel like they are living their lives the right way. you only have one life! why would you waste it that way ?!

I wanted to hate you, I thought I hated you, I convinced myself that I did because it was what I wanted. Hating you was my answer. I wanted to think that you stole my friends from me, they left me alone to be with you. You always make fun of me, you laugh at me, treat me like crap and make me fell like crap. I never did anything to you, I always keep my mouth shut, well most of the time. I almost die, I tried to commit suicide and between the many thoughts in my head there was one that surprised me the most:I do not hate you.

i am a man, i was raped when i was 12 and it broke something inside me that was never fixed. this was 17 yrs ago
i just needed to say it once

sometimes i am ready for one of my bestfriends to die she told one of my cousins one of my deepest secrets, What kind of friend is that i can’t get mad at her because then people will ask why i dont talk to her anymore then she will have to tell them I dont know what to do im just gonna have to hide my true feelings to her……I HATE HER!!!!LORD FORGIVE ME PLEASE

we took in extended family members because their house was reposesed due to some moronic financial decisions. It was only supposed to last 6 weeks at the most. Cut to three months later, and here we are. Their driving me insane. All of them. I feel like i no longer have any control in my own home. I can’t do the things i want when I want. There are two young girls who represent everything I hate about little girls. and everyday, the frakking spanish soaps. Oh my God, how I hate the spanish soaps. If I never have to watch Univision again it’ll be too soon. The day they leave cannot come too soon. Rant over.

I hate myself so much…

I hate myself for letting him go all because I was so afraid to tell him I cared about him that I would love to be with him but no I was so scared and stupid that I told him to go and leave me alone to go and find someone else.

And now he is with someone else and it breaks my heart to see him with her, the only consolation I have is that at least I know his happy even if it’s not with me.

You Make me angry, i hate everything you do. I hate the way you treat me, i hate you more than i’ve ever hated anyone before…
But i wouldn’t leave you for anything!

I thought I had really loved until I met him, then I realized that I had no idea. Every day I fell, and still fall, more and more in love with him. On New Years’ Eve he stopped talking to me for a month, and I know that’s a shitty thing to do. It broke my heart. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop loving him. I don’t know if he wants me back now or not, but every day is like limbo.

I never thought that my first TRUE love wouldn’t love me back.

I hate my father. I don’t care that some people think “hate” is a strong word. You don’t have him as a father. You don’t have to sit back and listen that he “regrets the day you were born”, or how he gives you the silent treatment.

I hate my father. I hate him and I can’t believe I defended him after all these years.

You double faced bitch!You were my closest friend(or I think I only had a fake impression!).You were supposed to be with me when I broke up with him,who I loved so much.I was damn ruined that time.What I needed was I little bit of care and affection from my friends.
But you black bitch,You went to support HIm!!!ANd what reason did you give me for that-”I am his friend too,and he needs me too!”You know what,you should look at your stupid ugly face once.No boy in his right sense would ever even look at you!
I know what your problem is;never ever been proposed by any guy,did you?Ooooo!POOR YOU!You thought,you can sieze him?HA!For your kind information,He considers you as his SISTER (as does every other boy of our school)!Yet again,POOR YOU!
Always trying to be attractive,so that atlest one guy looks at you.U R PATHETIC.
And you ditched your friend for a guy!I think God has seen my condition,and He’ll never forgive you,YOU FILTHY,UGLY Girl!
And let me tell you one thing,Few years back,I fancied your brother,and that’s why I grew intimacy with you!
But yeah,in a small time,I got really attached to you.And You Betrayed me.You’ll pay.

I wish my friends would hate me. I wish they’d stop inviting me to hang out. I wish they’d stop answering the phone when I call. I wish that they’d pretend that I don’t even exist. Maybe then I could, too.

I am 15 years old and I weigh 90kg.I look really ugly, only my face is nice. I am not fat because i eat fast food. My reasons are: i dont work out, I sleep about 4-7 hours a night, I am starving myself, thats how i punish myself, i eat 1-2 small meals on school days , on weekends i eat when i feel like it, I never eat in the morings, I know I should. This isent healty, I know every way to keep fit but havent got any motivation.I live in a place were looking good is everything, everbody says that I should change but I like being this way, it is easier. All of my time goes into doing house work, baby sitting and homework, which is really hard.I am usally were happy when i can sleep over 5 hours a night. Being fat has caused me a lot problems like when takling to other people a feel very uncomfortable, starving has caused a lot sharp paines in my stomach, i have never had a boyfriend, I havent got TRUE friends .I feel like slave in my own home. I dont get along with my parnts that good.My dad is very angry or drunk most of the time and my mom is usally pissed off. So I dont like arguing with them. I think about suicide a lot. For me it is easier to die then to live, I am not scared of dying.If i was a other person i would probably kill myself. I wish i had a purpose in life but all my dreams have been crushed. I dont have reason to live anymore. My life is very hard it is work WORK WORK WORK alll the time. I hated sooooo much. Please help me!!!