Secret Confessions

does not belong to my husband of 7 years. He has no idea.

I was raped two to three times a week from my seventh grade year to my freshman year in high school by someone I considered a grandfather figure. I’m now a senior in high school. To this day after everything, I can’t hate him. Yet at times I hate myself for letting it happen especially for as long as it did. I have flashbacks frequently, and I feel as if I don’t deserve to be happy (I don’t know if this is from the rape or not, but I assume it is).
I hate that I can’t hate him for what he did. He’s roaming free and carelessly, while I have to live with the pain and scars every single day for the rest of my life.

about a few years back i lied to my bfnd…i lied about me gettin raped..getting gang raped by some men whom i didnt knw..den i claimed that they were mentally harassing me..god knws what had gotten into my head but i did all this to get that attention from him which i always craved for..i did the biggest mistake of my life my doin this..so i thot of confession here as im afraid he might leave me if i tell him the truth..

I had cancer within the past few months. It looks as if surgery alone took care of it. Sometimes I wish I had died from the cancer because I feel like I ruin people’s lives around me - my husband’s and my family’s. It would just be easier to be dead.

Yes, I committed a murder, and no one knows about it, they all thought it was an accident.
I held my 8 years old niece and I threw her from seventh floor, after I tried to abuse her, and she was going to tell my brother-her father-about it, the window was low so they thought she fell while playing.
I run to the bathroom after throwing her and I pretended to get out of it on hearing her screams.
I can’t bare it anymore, I thought many times about killing myself, but I am afraid to do it.
I think confessing will remove some of the load from my heart, but still I am a murderer.

I know ppl may read this and think “she deserves it” and i would agree with you…see, my mother died three years ago when i was 14 and i felt numb…dead practicly until i got unto a chat room and i met this girl, we became friends…i started liking her more than a friend should have…yes yes am a girl, shes a girl…i didnt see it coming either, i guess it was just an ironic spin of fate that i realised that am bi in the worst moments of my life…yay more confusion please. The thing is…i fell in love with her and i just wanted a new life for a few seconds. to forget everything bad my life had, so i invented my alter ego i guess…a guy…and she fell in love with him, me…i havent lied about how much i love her, i havent love anyone like this…she made me happy when i thought i couldnt be…after the five years my mom fought cancer she died…and after all those years of feeling numb…useless cause i couldnt make the cancer go away…my friend…my gilfriend made me smile for the first time…truly smile…not the hollow that everyone in my family kept giving each other…ive been with her for three years now…and all i can think of is…am never going to be with her really…ill have to tell her and she will hate me and…and i cant stop myself to be selfish for a bit more so i keep lying to her…ill tell her, i will, i want to cause i know am doing something horrible to her…but am too selfish…
do i really love her as much as i feel, then why the **** am i such a horrible person?

Sometimes I want to get ran over by a car and be hurt or in a coma or something so my Boyfriend would show that he cares and be sympathic towards me.

I don’t know whats wrong with me. I constantly find my self fantasizing about my husband having sex with other women. Just the idea of it gets me very aroused. Usually, I imagine him having sex with a random woman but, more and more I fantasize about him having sex with some one we know like our friends, an acquaintance (like one of my children’s teachers), or even my sister. Frequently when I meet someone new I immediately imagine what it would be like to see my husband to make love to her. I am totally afraid to discuss this with him or anyone for that matter! My relationship with my husband has never been better. I have never had any homo-erotic feelings either. I worry about it a lot. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I was unfaithful to my wife. I love my wife very much and want our marriage to work. I never should have let it go that far with this woman. It was extremely wrong of me. I am scared to tell her because I know that will be it for her and the marriage will end. I don’t want it to end, but i am having a hard time forgiving myself. This guilt is killing me. MAD please forgive me for doing this to you. I would tak it back if I could, but I can’t. I love you more now than I ever have and don’t want to lose you. God please forgive me for being unfaithful to my wife. Bring me peace and faith.

I’ve known this boy on myspace and his name was Ryan. I’ve loved him deep inside, but I never told him that(It made him love me more)… He loved me too and kept saying that to me… So one day, I tld him that it was time to end our relationship because we were miles away… he told me i love you for the last time in a voice recorder that was sent on my email… the next week, his parents talked to me online and said he comitted suicide and had a note saying I love her mom and dad tel her that I love her… now i keep crying and saying to myself i love you too Ryan, i love you too

I went out of town this week on business and the night before I left I go so smashed and I have no recollection on what happened. I think I might have done something that I shouldn’t have…I have flashes of that night, but I can’t put all of the pieces back together. I can’t imagine that I was dumb enough to sleep with someone else, but how can I know for sure?? My boyfriend is so freaking wonderful, and I am so incredibly sick to my stomach everytime I see him or think about Wednesday night…I don’t know how long I can handle feeling this way, I can’t believe I was so incredibly STUPID. I don’t know what to do.

I want to go away for a week and have no one know where I am, that I am gone, or when I will be back. I don’t want any questions or comments, I just want a break from my life.
Its really confusing. I cheated on my boyfriend with my best friend, now I want back with my boyfriend but I hate the thoughts of being a prick to either one..I really love them both.
I wish I could make things right again..but I am not sure what right is.. The trip away would help..problem is I have too many people nosing into what I do to get away like that…I wish I wasn’t 30 and still at home.

Today, I don’t know how to make this right. I stole your prized possession and sold for $$. I wish I could get it back… I tried and it impossible.

Someday soon you will find out it missing.. I lost your friendship after 30 yrs.

Ok, so this is kind of complicated and probably all my fault, i’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost two years now, my last relationship ended horribly and i only found out later that she had cheated on me. my g/f now tells me that she loves me and only me but every once in a while i get the feeling like she’s been doing something (i don’t know what exactly) behind my back, kind of like my ex was acting before we broke up. what’s worse is that i have a friend that i love spending time with, but every time i see her or talk to her, i get this feeling like i just want to end my relationship and ask out my friend. help please?

i know this isnt huge, but, i am a black girl and i like white guys. its not like i find black guys unattractive, i just find white guys more attractive sometimes. Maybe because where im from, black men are loud and annoying(not saying that they are all like that)I would like to find an nice black guy one day, but for now i find some white guys more attractive. i always deny this. A white guy hugged me and i really liked him, but if it was a guy from my school, i wouldnt have liked it.