Secret Confessions

I told my best friend I had feelings for him. I know he used to like me but he was so young at the time and it took a while for me to realise how deep my feelings were for him. He said he didn’t want to lose me as a friend, wasn’t sure of how he felt. He confessed he might have feelings for a girl we work with, a 15yo girl…5 years younger than him. He said she made him happy. I tried to pretend I wasn’t hurting but now he can’t even look at me. Everything is falling apart around me and now I dont have anyone to turn to. I miss him..every day I miss him and I wish I had never said anything.

I wish I knew who I was deep down. In reality, I’m only a guy who trys to please others…

When my friends are down, I’m always the one who they come to if they want to vent, or need advice. So when they come talk to me, I always need to be happy, and secure of myself, so the negative feelings don’t rub off on them. Half of the time, I feel like total shit, and can’t even put up with their crap. I have no idea how I do it. I just wanna die, I’m so bogged down with their stuff.

But then, when my friends are OK, and they ask how I am, I can never tell them that I’m not doing well. I don’t want to bog them down with my emotions…they have too much going on. So yea…I take everything in, but don’t have anyone to talk to.

Sure, I’ll tell people that I know I can come to them if I ever need help or advice or just want to vent, but I can never bring myself to do it when the time comes down to it.

It’s all been going downhill recently. Worse and worse. I’m more depressed, more emotional, more suicidal. I want to show this post to my friends, so I can get help…but then I’ll just scare them away from me. They’ll be afraid of my past, that it’s coming back.

But this isn’t what I went through when I was younger…and that kind of scares me. Because I (now) know how to deal with what I was dealing with then. But this is new. Different. Unique.

And I can’t take it anymore. So if any of my friends see this…please…help me.

I have a lot of friends. I love them all, really. They’re great.
I love how we’re all so different, but still have so many things in common.
Selfharm and depression is something we’ve all been through, and talked about,
but the problem is that I still get depressed sometimes. I think they do too, but they don’t admit it all that much.
I have this one friend that told me to call her if things get real bad,
but I can never trust her to be there or get the small hints I drop,
because I could never just say that I feel bad.

The problem with my friends is that they are too distant. They have other friends that I feel they trust more than me, and you might say I’m jealous, but it bothers me a lot. I want someone for my own, my friend. The kind I can call or visit any time and know that they won’t mind. Truth is I had a friend like that once, but life split us up.

I just want one friend that I don’t have to share.

I hate you. I cant believe what you did. You promised me. You swore on your life. But you broke that promise. Now people dont see me the same. They all think I have a problem. And its all your fault. I thought you were my best friend. Thanks alot.

how do you tell your friend that you
don’t wan tto come to his moms because the hous is so filthy. they seem to be immune to the smells all the animals
running around they are a cool friend and would do anything for me but i can’t take
the filth

i met my best friend in my 3rd yr of high skool and we’ve been close since then. during our first yr of college she got pregnant and she only told her parents at 7 months. as u can imagin they were angry and still are to this day(its been more than a yr)..though her mother speaks to her now .but anyway.. i allowed her to stay with me and my mom and bro because of her family issues at that moment. but living with her hasnt been easy AT ALL!!! seems i liked her better when we werent spending every day together(bad friend huh) my mom doesnt like her either.. and allows her to stay at home only because she’s my friend. i want her to leave the house now cause nobody can stand her anymore.. she’s demanding,likes everything her way,expects u to bend for her,MESSY and sooo much more.. i dont know what to do. i mean..she’s still my best friend and i love helping to take care of the baby…but i want her to leave..her mom doesnt even mind her coming back home,though her dad does. WHY DOESNT SHE WANT TO LEAVE???WE CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

I’m not inconsiderate. You tell me you don’t want me to be me, because you don’t want to hear the truth about your ex, who won’t come back to you, you are just refusing to accept it - which is understandable since you loved him, but then when we talk you tell me you don’t want me to not be myself, but i know you don’t because you won’t be able to handle the truth. I mean what do you want me to do? I don’t mean to shout at you, but there’s nothing more i can do. Yes i know you’re depressed, but it doesn’t mean i am going to put my happiness on hold for you. I shouldn’t have to do it for anyone, i try not to mention it too much to you because i know you are fragile but i can’t not talk about it when it’s all that’s going off in my head right now. When you were saying that our other best friend wasn’t depressed, how would we know? We’d both started going out with the guys she liked. That HURTS. A LOT. You wouldn’t know. And she has cut herself and thought about suicide before, so how would we know. I hope you get better soon because i can’t keep tip toeing around like this and i hope your ex decides to letyou go. Finally so you can move on.

i’m straight… but then why do i want to possess her like that…

i hadn’t talked to her in two years…
i was waiting for her to make a call or write a letter…

then, one day i just went to her sis’s house and got her no. from there…
i sent her some angry messages…
she recogniged me…
and then she called…
she cried…said she was sorry…told me that she loves me… she said that she wanted to call me but didn’t have the courage to do so…

these 2 years messed me up…
i was thinking that talking to her would make it okay…

but it’s got worse…
hurts like hell all the time…
what’s wrong with me…

i don’t know her…
i never did…

she’s got a bf now…
she’s been having a lot of fun…

then, why was i making my life hell??
what’s wrong with me…
it was her mistake…
she was supposed to call me if she was feeling sorry…

y did i call her??

i wanna hurt her bad…real bad…..!!!
but i’m such an idiot…
i love her so much…

I recently ran into an old friend. We never dated because the timing was never right — I was in a relationship when he was single, he was married when I was single. Now he’s single again, and I am happily married with three kids. The problem? I can’t stop thinking about him.

I know I should put my energy into my marriage instead (My husband is wonderful, handsome, successful and famous), yet all I can think about is my old friend…both sexual and just plain romantic fantasies. I wish I were single so we could just go to the movies, or on a drive together. I keep thinking of ways to run into him again.

I know I need to stop this foolishness. I feel guilty, but I can seem to stop the daydreaming…

I’ve been very close with a friend of mine for over a decade, now. It’s actually the epitome of what a “best friendship” is. Because of that, when he started dating this girl, I expressed my reservations but was very supportive of him in every way. Eventually, they got married and I’ve always been very sweet to her and never express anything to either of them.

But I can’t deny the truth that everything about her bothers me more and more. From the irrational behaviour and beliefs, to the general white-trashy attitude, to the idiotic certitude in the face of overwhelming evidence to contrary positions.

I don’t know what to do.

Every single one of my ‘best friends’ has a fault. They have no qualities that I want in a friend. I want someone to look up to… not down on… you know? Sometimes I feel awkward just being around other sixteen-year-olds. They’ve been kissed. They have jobs; cars.

What do I have?

An abuse trial.

No income.

Crappy friends…

Ugh. >.<

I call them my “best friends”, but they mean no more to me than the next guy I pass on the street. My roomates are so mean to me, but it’s not in an upfront, in your face kinda way. Just tonight they left to go out to eat without me while I was in the shower… they just left me without inviting me to go along or anything. They constantly instant message each other and text message bad things about me while I’m in the room. It hurts my feelings so so bad. However, I never say anything. I pretend like everything is ok, but inside I want to die. I wish I had friends who appreciated me and talked to me about things. I know one day, I will explode and who knows whats gonna happen… I believe that day is fast approaching

I am not sure about the friendship between a guy and a girl, I’m a girl myself, and so far most guys I met and i had friendships with, they fell in love with me. Now I met this guy.. that I really like alot.. but Im scared to tell him, and it might end up being.. weird or something.. also He lives far away and I am not sure if it will work. Tho we talk alot and he’s me best friend, is it worth it to risk this. or.. is it not?

My husband and I are swingers..and it kills me to have to keep it a secret.
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After years of being on the ‘outside’, I am finally on the ‘inside’. But I still resent it because I know people are only being nice to the money- not ME. If I had walked into that BMW dealership this time last week they would have looked down their noses at me and told me to get lost. Now everyone kisses my ass. ME. Look at ME. Look at who I AM. First you only took me for the brown skin and frizzy hair and treated me like I was less of a person because of it- now you treat me like I am the center of the universe- but it has nothing to do with ME. You’re attracted to the money. As if I might carry a cool million in my back pocket and hand it out at anytime. Like NOW I’m a good luck charm- everyone wants to be around me NOW. Oh- here comes lucky lottery girl! Luck nothing- you treated me like crap then without getting to know me. Now I’m everyone’s ‘best friend’- and you still don’t know me. And they said me winning and having millions of dollars would make ME shallow…? Screw you all.