Disease

Posted by Ghost in Fear on Sep 2nd, 2010 | 3 comments

I’m often proned to diseases. Viral, lysogenic, lytic and or otherwise. Right now I’m living with the idea that I have two that could be fatal. I’ve been waiting for the doctors to call, but they haven’t yet. I could be HIV positive, and I could also have Lyme disease. One from a tattoo, and one from a tick. The problem is, I have to put on a brave face, but I’m afraid. I’m not afraid of what could happen to me, not even after I die. I’m afraid of what will happen to my family.

thankyou

Posted by karson in Fear on Sep 1st, 2010 | 2 comments

to the nurse who held my hand and told me eventualy it would be okay, as i lay there losing my baby,thankyou. today would have been my due date – and you were right, i am ok!

r.i.p chad

Posted by jackson in Fear on Aug 29th, 2010 | 4 comments

sometimes i pretend to limp in public, so that children will ask me what happened? and i tell them “motorcycle accident” i hope it will scare them enough so no one else has to lose their bestfriend

How long to be a doormat

Posted by Single mummy in Fear on Aug 17th, 2010 | 7 comments

He made me love him, he drew me and made me love him! 3 months later after a perfect relationship I was pregnant. I’m so happy he says, can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you he says, I love you he says. We went to wedding fairs, he chose the ring, he picked our wedding song! Then, at 37 weeks pregnant I find he’s texting a girl from work. I love you he says to her, I miss you he says to her, I want you he says to her! I confront him and my he’ll begins! He claims he doesn’t know what he wants, he’s too young to be a dad, he can’t do what he wants when he wants! It’s rocky for a few days then he decides he wants to make it work. I’ll make the sacrifices and we’ll talk about our feelings he promices me. 5 days later I go into labour and after the worst pain in my life I deliver our baby girl! While in the hospital, less than 24 hours after the birth of our child I see his phone. Words can’t describe what you mean to me he says to her! I hold it in, don’t tell him I know but it tears me up inside.

Today is 4 weeks after that day, he still texts her but promises it’s just friends. We talk. I tell him I saw the message that day. I don’t know what I want he tells me, I’m too young to be a dad he tells me, and I die inside.

He’s gone to work now and I sit here wondering whether to stay and find out whether he wants me or make the jump first. My only issue is I love hi
and don’t know how to be without him but I’m angry because he pulled me in, promised he would never leave, was going to marry me!

I pray he loves me enough to stay but don’t know how to forgive the hurt he caused me. I pray that I won’t be alone and loose the live if my life and father if my child. I pray that I’ll survive.

every secret

Posted by casey in Fear on Aug 3rd, 2010 | 0 comments

im forced to carry your secrets because you were all too weak to carry it yourself, well im going to break if i dont let them out. so ive been coming on here and confessing each secret ive ever been told. i can feel myself getting stonger everyday because i have no more secrets to carry around

im sorry dad

Posted by jv in Fear on Jul 29th, 2010 | 12 comments

my fathers a racsit, and im in love with my black boyfriend. im scarred that ill lose my family, that my father and society will hate me because of who i fell in love with.

They thought I didn’ hear them

Posted by Anonymous in Fear on Jul 28th, 2010 | 4 comments

I’ve been living at college for a few years. Moved back in with my parents for the summer. Unfortunately, the walls haven’t gotten any thicker. I’m not refering to being upset about hearing them have sex. That never bothered me.

The part that upsets me is I can hear everything they say about me through the wall. Most mornings in high school, I woke up hearing all the little things that disappoint them, all my quirks they can’t stand, every way I fall short, how I cause them problems. By the time they were done. I didn’t have to nitpick myself as a teenager stereotypically does. I was too busy picking up the fragments of self worth I was able to salvage. I actually tried hard at that point not to let them down…now I’m in college they actually have something to gripe about.

Now I have moved down to the basement, but every time I hear them talking I have a panic attack because I think its about me.

Cancer….

Posted by demigod14 in Fear on Jul 23rd, 2010 | 5 comments

Last week I went to my grandpa died of brain cancer.

Last year my uncle Freddie had a close call with brain cancer.

A few days ago my uncle was rushed into hostipal because of his prostate. It could be cancer.

I’m only 14 but I’m terrified. What if I’m next? What if the reason I’m tired all the time and those weird scars on my back mean it’s my turn? I’m confused and afraid and I haven’t told anyone because they probably think I’m over reacting, but I’m scared. I don’t know what to do now. I need help.

Fortune Teller’s Fare Warning

Posted by Maybe 18 year old mom? in Fear on Jul 21st, 2010 | 7 comments

So my boyfriends’ mom just went to the fortune teller. She called me asking if I’ve been taking my pills daily. I reply with a “yes” because today is the day that I start again. But then she tells me to ALWAYS take them, do NOT forget. And I’m thinking to myself ‘I know. I don’t want to get preg-’ “It’s because the fortune teller said that you will get pregnant by Christmas. So as soon as I get off the phone with her, I tell my boyfriend, no more sex till Christmas. I take the pill everyday, but like every girl, sometimes I forget one day. And of course we use condoms. But is there any other precaution that we can use to prevent? Or is “no sex” the final straw?

Mixed emotions and afraid of losing her.

Posted by Sad Dad in Fear on Jul 11th, 2010 | 1 comment

I separated from my ex two years ago and since then have developed a very strong bond with my stepdaughter. She treats me as if I am her father and loves me as such. There is a very deep love between her and I and I am always there for her, while her mom remains somewhat emotionally distant by nature. No hard feelings, Its just her way of doing things so I stepped up to fill the gap. But, because I have no legal rights at all and am not really entitled to any,I struggle constantly with mixed emotions and a terrible fear that her mom might just one day pull the rug out from under us or manipulate her into cutting me out of the picture for petty or unfounded reasons. This would devastate me … and hurt my daughter in a huge way, because no one really understands just how close we are and how much she relies on me for emotional support. My daughter hides nothing from me and has told me some very serious secrets about her life that I have not shared with anyone. She needs me more than anyone realizes. The fact that shes 16 and going thru all of the stuff that comes at that age just makes it even more difficult. I feel like I am walking a tightrope all of the time. With no safety net at all.

College

Posted by Marie in Fear on Jul 7th, 2010 | 3 comments

I am attending a four-year university in the fall. I could not be more excited for this new journey in my life, but I could also not be more scared. I keep telling my family and friends that I am ready to get out of here and move on to a new and better life. That is partly true, but I’m scared that I won’t succeed where I’m going. I’m scared that once I leave, things will never be the same. My home will never again be my home. My friendships will never again be the same. I’m scared that I will be replaced in all of my relationships. I’m scared that people who have been such a huge part of my life won’t feel that I’m a huge part of theirs. I want my past to matter, just as much as I want my future to be new and exciting and amazing. But you know what? Even though I’m more scared about my future than I have ever been, I would not change it for the world. My real life begins right now, and I am ready for the ride, no matter what comes along. I have enough faith in myself that I can do what it takes to succeed and show others that I matter. What I do and who I am matters.

I thought i was going to die today

Posted by Jenkins in Fear on Jun 11th, 2010 | 5 comments

I had an anxiety attack after smoking some kush unexpecting the body high. My heart was beating, i could hardly breath, i was nauseous, and i could hardly see. I have never been more scared in my life.