Secret Confessions

Yesterday, I overdosed on vitamins and almost killed myself.
and the scariest thing: I’m not glad to be alive.

I used to say that ’suicide is not the answer’ but after every thing that’s happened over the past year… I’m not so sure anymore. Yeah, I’m terrified of dying but it just seems like the only opition left.

No one knows about this except for my best friend and she lives in a different country.

My favorite band and best friend are the only things keeping me alive at the moment.

I know how cliche this sounds but no one really gets it. I hate myself beyond belief and I’m 99% sure I can’t get into any sixth form and my life and all the dreams will be ruined.

suicide just seems so appealing right now. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have those two things keeping me here so that it would be easier to go.

I’m 17 yr old girl and I am attracted to girls. I don’t like to refer to myself as a lesbian or gay. I am a virgin but I just would prefer to be with the girl that I work with over a guy. I’m just not attracted to them. Everyone knows she likes me but I deny being a lesbian. But I never say that I do not like her. I actually think I love her. She is amazing. I mean we flirt around all of the time. There was even an instance where I wanted to kiss her, but I couldn’t find the courage. I believe that she knows that I like her, but I don’t think she will say anything until I admit it.
I also have this fear of my family. They are strictly against any form of homosexuality. My sister would literally try to kill me. She has said it jokingly, but I know that she means it. She thinks that it is disgusting. My mother and grandmother would probably try to pray the demons of homosexuality out of me! It kills me to know that I “will” be disowned if I ever pursue this relationship. I just want to be with her.

I have an eating disorder, Ive managed to keep it from all my friends and family and I even have a secert myspace I use to recieve pro ana tips and talk to other ana’s it scares me though. And IM really afraid of someone finding out.

i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 months, and it is my longest relationship by far, but since august he has been in hong kong for a gap year. i managed to raise the money to go see him for 2 weeks, and im going in about 5 weeks
but i get irrationally scared sometimes
the past 3 months have been so hard already, and recently we nearly broke up because we kept arguing, but we solved it the day after luckily
i get scared because if these 3 months have been this hard, what about when i come home and have to be away from him for another 7/8 months - over twice the time ive struggled though to date
and i get scared that it will changed him. hes in the year group above me so im doing my last year at college - high school for american readers - living with my mum, without a job etc, hes working nearly everyday, in a foreign country with completley different cultures

im afraid that when he comes back he will be a grown up while i’ll still be a child

im afraid that he’ll outgrow me

im afraid he’ll change his mind and find my immatureness annoying instead of cute

im afraid he’ll stop loving me and leave me

im afraid i’ll end up like my mother, alone and unloved at 45

i need his love to be happy
i need his love to survive
i was so close to hurting myself when we nearly ended. i dont want to find out what’ll happen if we do end

i love him so much it phsyically hurts sometimes

I’m pregnant and I’m scared. I never ever wanted kids and this kid was not planned. I have not told anyone. I hate that I’m scared to tell someone. My mom will be dissappoted in me and I don’t want that. Im afraid that I’ll grow to hate this kid because I dont want him/her, but I can’t bring myself to get a abortion.

ME AND MY FAILY ARE GONNA BE MOVIN TO TEXAS END OF NEXT SUMMER AND IM SCARED BECAUSE IVE HEARD SO MUCH NEGATIVE INFO AND I DONT KNO WERE OUT THERE IS SAFE TO MOVE TO BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS MOVE THIS IS THE AREA WE CAN ONLY AFFORD WHAT SHOULD I DO I DONT WANA BE AROUND ANY VIOLENCE

I’m afraid I may be a gay.
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I get such huge amounts of it on both of us. The max my work place will let me and have another policy on the side. Not because I intend to kill him or think he would want to. I am so scared that if he dies I will stop funtioning like a normal person and it will take money and therapy and expensive hospital visits to bring me back. With out my husband I cannot imagine feeling whole again and I dont want my family to have to pay for any of my problems. I know if I died he too would not do well without me.

We morbidly yet lovingly say "Promise me you’ll move on if I go. Promise me you’ll take care of my family. Promise me you’ll travel and see things I wanted you to know. Promise me if love finds you again please take its hand and do not flee in fear of pain."

He has a dangerous job, I have a medical condition that could be very bad if I dont take care of it. I have never been more happy in my life.

So of course I fear loosing… life.

I have a boyfriend and we have been going out for a while but i dont like him anymore and i still wont to be friends with him but i dont know how to tell him and i am afraid that when i tell him that he wont want to be friends anymore. I dont know what to do please someone help me?

im scared to tell my best friend/boyfriend about god. im scared to ask him to come to church with me. i dont want him to think im trying to convert him or anything like that. i just want him to share the same joy and love i have for serving god. i dont know how to bring it up. hes not christian and i am. i love god and i also love him.

I have an unnerving fear of being or dying alone. I fear that I’m not going to find anyone to love me for another 50 years or…even never. Sure I’m still young, but it seems like everyone around me who’s younger than me has a better love life than I do, and I hate it. Even if I don’t get sex, at least being held would be the best thing that’s ever happened to me for three years. Is that hard to ask for?

I have this nightmare. My wife tells me "go upstairs honey and I’ll be right up to make love with you". So I go upstairs wash my pits, brush my teeth and get undressed. I get in the bed & I hear the front door slam. I run down stairs & she’s in the car driving away. Oh well curses foiled again!

I used to have gerbils when I was a child. I forgot to feed them and they all died.

As a guy I have a really hard time relating to guys… and I used to look at gay porn although I am not gay… Girls gimme a call lol