be careful what you say

Posted by liz in Family on Sep 10th, 2010 | 0 comments

People don’t understand how it is… for me.i have my problems..and when people decide to be racist/prejudiced, it doesn’t make my life any easier. It’s actually hurtful.I don’t know anything about my culture, or care for anything there.i just say; I’m adopted from Brazil, because my biological mother and father didn’t want me.

Why does helping people hurt so much

Posted by BreakingPoint in Family on Sep 8th, 2010 | 4 comments

My mom just recently lost her job, I am a 17 year old female who has had a steady job since the age of 15 my 19 year old brother has had 1 job in his whole life(I’ve had 3) I help my mom pay bills and I help pay for a little of her wedding when I have the money but since she lost her job she has started keeping all of my paycheck so I have no money. I love helping people I really do. I hardly ever ask for anything in return(all of what I ask for is help in return but I don’t ask often because it makes me feel guilty). I am a senior in high school and school recently started back up the 1st week of school I worked 64 hours and went to school keeping up with all of my homework so my mom would stay happy. My brother broke his phone and is getting a new one bought for him(with the paycheck my mom took from ME!). I have to come up with money for college, drivers ed, a car, and a house for me and my boyfriend. Along with paying all the bills and buying grocery’s I have to come home every night from work and clean the house then cook dinner before I can get my homework done. With all my friends asking for help and advice on their lives and dealing with my home life and school and work I am getting so stressed out and depressed. my routine is wake up, school, get out go to work, come home clean, cook, homework, run a mile, shower, and bed. Nothing else. It depresses me to the point I feel like I am breaking and I have nothing to hold onto… I need help and no one can see it…I cry everyday and I cry myself to sleep every night. Nobody can see that I am breaking…not even my boyfriend understands how bad off I am…I haven’t thought of suicide in 2 almost 3 years and I thought of it for the first time today I really contemplated it…I have also started feeling like turning to cutting is my only release from this horrible pressure I feel. I have a weight on my shoulders that I can lift…not by myself…it may sound stupid but it is truly how I feel. I need help but nobody will help me…I’m screaming out here and no one seems to be able to here me…I feel so lost and alone and scared…I’m breaking and I fear if I break again I won’t be fixable….=/ how do I deal with all this pressure?

going insane dealing with an alcoholic

Posted by anonymous in Family on Sep 8th, 2010 | 1 comment

what do i do! its my boyfriends mom and she takes tylenol 3 with her beers she is always in a bad mood all the time and i have to live with her and my boyfriend. shes a bitch to me she hates me and i want to kill her

I HATE MY FATHER!

Posted by The good son who no ones care about in Family on Sep 6th, 2010 | 5 comments

Why is he always like that with me?
I never do anything and he keeps torturing me psychologically… I have already tried the suicide, I drinked a who bttle of medicine, but in place of death I just got drunk… I don’t know how that happened but I guess soon I’m gonna kill my self again… I know some people do have bigger problems than I do, but what I don’t have psychologic for such thing!
Soon I will be dead and all that pain will be gone! No more anger! No more torture! No more problems! I WILL BE FREE AFTER ALL!!!

Domestic Fights

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Sep 5th, 2010 | 4 comments

I’ve beaten up or been beaten up by every member of my immediate family at some point in my life, even as a young child. I’ve hit my mother, been beaten with a belt by my father, been knocked out by a 2×4 piece of wood, saw my brother throw my mother through a glass window, and many more other instances. When I was little, I thought this was normal, but as I’ve grown up, I realized else wise. I purposely went to a school far away from my parents for college because they drive me insane. They make this temper come out of me that doesn’t exist around anyone else.

And I’m afraid to open up to anyone or even have a family of my own someday because I don’t want this cycle of abuse to continue.

i did something horrible to my cousin

Posted by djd in Family on Sep 1st, 2010 | 11 comments

In the hole world, just my step-brother knows about this, and he thoght i lied when i told him, apart from him, nobody knows about this.

When i was 15yo, i hade sex with my little cousin 10 years yonget than me. I have never forgive me about this. I cant look my selft in the mirror without thinking to get rip of me. I have done so many things, thinking that i’ll end up dead about it, but i always fail, eather for my cowardness or for pure coinsidense.

i know you people want me to tell in details how it happend, but i just cant, if i write it, ill remember it, and then the horrible felling will come again so i wont do that. The only think that i can tell its that it was not forceful (kind of concented) and that i dint penetrate her.

I tell this because its that i want to move on, be happy again . Since that happen, i havent felt that my laff was not actualy real, like i dint want other people to concerrn too much about me, because i dint want to be a load for my family and frinds.

Am I a so bad son?

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Aug 29th, 2010 | 5 comments

I wonder if I’m really of all that bad that they says of me… Ok, ok, a lot of things were my fault, I realize tha but I think they really punish me to much…
I will say some of things, goods and bad ones that has happened in my last years (between, I’m 16):

Year of 2001: For what I can record I’ve changed to school to start the 1st year of my elementary school (I’m brazilian, so I guess thats the traduction), to get in the school, you had to make a test of I don’t remember of how much questions to see how much, and if you’d get, a discount in the school mensality, I had a 100% and during the whole year my father had to pay exactly NOTHING for the whole year, and in the following years he had to pay only 50% of the mensalities.

Year of 2004: Now I’ve changed to another school, since a boy in my older one used to bully me and I’m wasn’t being able to study with him on me. In the new school, we had a sistem that the best studentes in every grade may get a medal, and the best student from the school wold get a Trophie. In the same year I got a gold medal and I just din’t get the trophie because I had a tie with a girl that had in her past already 3 medals of gold.

Year of 2005: Another medal and I finally got the trophie in the 1st semester.

Year of 2006: I’ve got a bad grade, not a red one (thats a grade lower than 5,0; here in Brazil grades goes from 0,0 to 10,0) but a 7,5, my father got mad with, sayid things like “The 1st one is the only winner, a 2nd place is just the 1st of a legion of losers!” and he would put me in the worsiest school of the reigon that I live, the name of the place is “School Hiroshima”, a place that have only drugs, violence and prostitution; but my mother made up his mind and he din’t put me in that place.

Year of 2007: Another boy started to bully me and he was making hard for me concentrate in classes. I got a bronze medal, and my parents doesn’t know that. Happily for me, in the 2nd semester the school changed the director and stopped with the Medal Giving Sistem.

Year of 2008: It was when I started to leave home with my friends togo in some places, but my father hated the idea, sayid that my friends weren’t good friendships and made me stop from leaving home, my life became again “from school to home, form home to school”. The boy keeped bulling me.
In this year I joinend the “Order of De Molay”, a kind of Non-Governamental Organ whose main objective was the filantropy.

Year of 2009: I coudn’t take anymore bullies from him, I losed my senses and hit him a lot, ok it was a pleasure, but my dad got so angry with me that he would put me in Hiroshima again, and he really would do it since my grades did falled to much. My mom got pregnant and she used her pregnancy to make his mind and made him stop with that idea.

Today, year of 2010: My father is worsier than ever, at each day he makes more psicological torture in me. He made me left the order (and I was an Orator, that is very important in the order). My mother changed a lot too and now she is every day hittng on me actually she is using brooms. But I am actually studing in a SENAI, that is a profissionalizaing school very important in my country and that had only 18 vacancies for students, and I got in, now I’m getting ready to enter in an Etec, same like the SENAI but even more renomated. I do draw very well, I cook, I know philosofy, psicology and I learned to talk english completaly alone without even making a single school that teachs the language (here in Brazil, someone that talks a 2nd language is the rarest thing of the world, and I talk english, spanish, a little of italian and notions of japanese). But my parents says that I only gives to them shame, sadness, shyness.

So tell me, am I such a bad son? What would you feel if your son was like me? Pride or shame?

The Childhood.

Posted by Fallen in Family on Aug 28th, 2010 | 2 comments

My life was a fairytale, of sorts. We had money, we had multiple cars, I got everything that I wanted, and I was extremely popular for it. The only different thing about my family was, that my parents were the class act drug dealers. The entire circuite from Cuba into the south border up to chicago, through michigan to canada and over to new york was ran in part by my mom and dad. We were loaded, I used bricks of marajauna to climb into their bed when I had nightmares. It was like a fairytale until I turned eleven.
That year, my grandpa died, but that was just before the summer really began.
In June, I was watching Angel, and the cops bust in the doors. There were so many, all had their guns drawn, most were pointed at my dog, who is a pitbull and very bias against intruders. Well, needless to say, the next day my sister and I had to go talk to the social workers. Of course, all of our lives it was “What happens in the house, stays between family.” I knew exactly what that meant. LIE. So apparently that’s what we did.
My dad was the hero, he took the fall for the entire thing, and even turned in people who were bringing 72 lbs of Cubas finest. Later on that summer, we weren’t allowed to leave our grandma’s house, or go back to our own, because these angry men were going to abduct my sister and I until my mom could pay back all of the money that my dad cost them.
Later that year, my parents divorced, and at 12 I began cutting myself shamelessly.
Well, the parent I live with is doing it again, and I can’t tell anyone. But I’m afraid everyday that the police will bust into my nice home, and take me away from my beautiful school, and I will fall from grace again. I know it’s dirty money, but I’m 17, and it’s the only way we pay the bills right now. Maybe I’m wrong, but my parent is doing all that is possible for me, and yet I resent both of us for the fact that it could tear us apart.

mom,

Posted by katie in Family on Aug 25th, 2010 | 2 comments

you were worried about my gay cousin touching me when you should have been worried about my brother touching me…

Sappy..

Posted by Zee in Family on Aug 23rd, 2010 | 2 comments

I really miss my Dad. He died of prostate cancer this year. I hate bringing people down about it, but his absence really gets to me quite often.

my husband beating me

Posted by soffia in Family on Aug 20th, 2010 | 7 comments

i am thirty years old and living in italy without documents i am married last three years my husband has documents this time i am pregnat four months my marriage was love marriage before i never see my husband when i came here in italy i see my husband firsst time . he is elder than me 9 years he is big drucked always beating me when i say something whaat should i do now last week he beating me a lot
his family dont like me now i am pregnant how i can solve this problem my parents are poor i dont want to leave him becz now i am pregnant and also no documts i dont want to do second time marriaage i know if i do this my baby futue will not good anybody tell what should i do

ù

I hate my father.

Posted by Platypus in Family on Aug 16th, 2010 | 4 comments

He abandoned me. I have never seen him in person, only in pictures and we have talked on the phone several times. He always talks about he regrets not seeing me growing up but doesn’t make an effort to see me now. I am angry and wish I could forgive him and move on with my life, but I can’t. I won’t forgive him because he doesn’t feel bad; he has told me he considers himself a good man who is going to die peacefully.

He hurt me really bad. I can’t trust men easily, I am afraid of commitment and marriage. I am an insecure person, timid, introverted; my self-steem is almost non-existent.

I feel unwanted and not capable of giving and receiving love.