dj

Posted by mac in Family on Jan 13th, 2011 | 5 comments

i know its not my son, but for the past three years youve been putting up a front like it is. i dont care though, about anything or what anyone says that little boy is my world and even if he isnt mine biologicaly hes still mine and nothing will ever change that.

im pregnant

Posted by anonymous in Family on Jan 3rd, 2011 | 5 comments

I’m pregnant and secretly want to die giving birth. Don’t get me wrong id love to be a mother and watch my baby grow old. But life is hard to live and the happy thing doesn’t work for me..

merry christmas!

Posted by jessica in Family on Dec 26th, 2010 | 3 comments

my christmas present to me this year was one of the best ones ive ever had. i finally told my family about the rape. they didnt judge,hate or pitty me. they told me they loved me and there always there for me. this gave me strength, tomorrow i will go report it. i hope this son of a bitch had a good christmas because itll be his last one not behind bars.

I hit my Mother

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Dec 22nd, 2010 | 4 comments

The person I call my mother really does not act like one. She drinks (a lot, everyday) but she says it is to “relax” and because it’s “nice to have a glass of wine when cooking etc”.
BULL.
She’s a total bitch and acts like she’s a teenager. She has zero respect and then she blames me for everything. I feel like throwing up when thinking about her.
THIS WOMAN IS NOT MY MOTHER! Well she is, but it’s like I don’t know her anymore, she’s changed into this awful person that torments my everyday life.
I usually end up hitting her, never in the face though. Closed fist against arm or back usually. And I don’t feel bad about it, and it’s really nothing I’m proud of either.
It’s just like, when I hit her, it’s not like I’m hitting my Mom, it’s a stranger. I hate her.

When she doesn’t drink, she’s amazing and I love my “normal” mom. I don’t know what to do. I just want her to stop drinking. It KILLS me.

Mother O’ Mother of mine.

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Dec 20th, 2010 | 5 comments

It was alittle over a year ago I told you I was pregnant. I was 17. You thought it was a joke, then you were excited. You told me it would be hard… But you didnt say it would have been THAT hard. You said you would be here with me threw it all…. But you didnt say that was a lie.

I lied to you too though. I PLANNED my child with my now husband.

Then a month later you kicked him out, you expected me not to leave with him. But I did.
A month after that you stole my taxes a denied it. But the IRS caught you.
A month after that… I turned 18… Then we know what happened between our husbands.
Then the doctors told me to go on bedrest or I will lose my child, they told me not to lift anything over 5lbs. I told you they said that. Because I called you crying.

But 2 weeks later you told me to come to your house and get all my boxes, you said my husband wasnt allowed to help me, and you made me do it all by myself.
You let me leave without a goodbye or a hug. You cried and then went on the computer.
That was the last time I saw you.

A couple months later I had my son. You never called, or cared.

And at that moment I started to hate you with everything in me. I cant stand the thought of you, your face, your voice, or even any memories of you.
You destroied me, you left me when I needed you the most, you said nothing when I needed you to say anything.
You’re a pathetic excuse for a parent.
And I hope you cheat on your husband like you did with the last 2. or I hope he cheats on you like he did to his last wife.

You dont deserve to see my child, when he grows older and askes about you I’ll only tell him all the horrible things you said and did.

But sometimes I miss you, sometimes I just want to hear your voice. Sometimes I need your advice, your care. But no matter what your still not here.
You told me to choose you or my husband.
I choose him, because he treats me better then you ever did.

I just wish you still cared.

Step-kids

Posted by anonomiss in Family on Dec 16th, 2010 | 5 comments

I hate having step-kids. I don’t wish harm to them; I just simply wish they didn’t exist. My life would be so much better without them in it. I know these thoughts are awful and cruel but I can’t help it. Anyone else out there feel the way I do?

I feel like I am losing my mind

Posted by Luna in Family on Dec 15th, 2010 | 8 comments

I am so lonely…I am only 21 and it kills me to watch everyone I know go to college and go out and be young…I feel like an old woman…I have a 2 year old little girl that I love beyond belief but she drives me crazy…in my desperate attempt to cure this empty feeling building up I adopted a puppy and 2 cats…the worst mistake ever…it just added more work to my plate…I am in an awful relationship…my daughters father never helps and makes more messes then my 2 year old…he says really awful things or just plain ignores me…the only reason I have not left him is because I do not want to put her in daycare and I need a place to live..We broke up once…I tried dating but it seems like all the guys my age are assholes only looking for a one thing or they run the other way when i say I have a baby….I want to run away and never look back…I want romance and adventure…I want to go out Friday Night and act my age…I was going to join the peace corps….then I found out i was pregnant…I feel like all my dreams have been crushed and now my destiny is temper tantrums, doing countless dishes, and cleaning up s***…literally…It makes me sad when I go out in public…I feel fat and stretched out and ugly…wearing old ratty clothes my mom bought me in highschool while my daughter is wearing gap jeans (grandparents spoil her)…I used to be pretty…really i was…people looked at me once…now I am invisable…I have no friends…and when i do run into my old ones its the fake smile of pity and “Hiiii how have you been??? We should really hang out sometime! I MISS YOU! ” liar…you are staring at my old ratty t shirt from salvation army hoping I make some excuse to walk away from your new sorority sisters and prada bags…GOD I HATE WHAT I HAVE BECOME…I TRULY DISLIKE BEING A YOUNG LONELY MOTHER…Whats the f***ing Point anymore…I wish I would hurry up and get old and die

Family. -_-

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Dec 13th, 2010 | 1 comment

My mom always lets my brother hit me with stuff (shoes, his fists, anything he can pick up) and tell me what to do as well as ruin and hide my stuff but If I try to get even I’m the one who gets screamed at. Sometimes I just Wish I could move away and never see them again. I’m 17 and I plan to move out next year and move in with my best friend. They just make me feel like I’m a huge problem. When I do move out I’m planning on shutting them out of my life completely.

im abnormal

Posted by Sarah in Family on Dec 13th, 2010 | 1 comment

I found it hard for me to be satisfied with anyone around me.
I expect others to do things for me and want all of them to be perfect…including my family.
I hurt mom’s feeling with my stupid words everyday,but she still treat me well.
I just don’t understand why I hate her so much in my mind.

I hate her leaving me alone when i was so little and i had to cope with controdiction and emotional troubles by myself.
but what’s wrong with me? she is after all my mother!
why does the desire of leaving home appeal so much….

Sometimes I Feel Like I Can’t Do This ‘Single Mom’ Thing!

Posted by Jules in Family on Dec 9th, 2010 | 6 comments

I know that I did the right thing in leaving my controling, manipulative husband, but sometimes I feel like I can’t manage my life and be a good mother on my own! And, I don’t mean that I have to do it all by myself. He’s a good father and has them 50% of time. In fact, they don’t give him as much grief as they do me (I’ve seen it), which makes me feel even more inadequate! Why are other kids better behaved? I’m fair but firm…until I can’t take it (whining, crying, asking, begging) anymore!!!! Today is one of those days. I know that in an hour I’m going to pick up my son and daughter (5 and 6) and the whining/crying will begin. The thought of that has me in tears at my desk. And, I am about to go after my ex for child support (I agreed to just let him just pay for the kids’ expenses), so I can’t complain to him or ask him for help. I just want to cry!!!!!! But, that will get me nowhere. I feel so helpless! I think that I will go call a girlfriend for some encouragement/moral support. I am luck to have that. =)

Running Away

Posted by Anon in Family on Dec 8th, 2010 | 7 comments

I fantasize about leaving my husband and 3 month old, and starting over. I hate being a mom. I want to find myself again and be independent, not constantly depended on.

After a lifetime of denial, I want a child so badly

Posted by neverknew in Family on Dec 7th, 2010 | 2 comments

I was so careful when young. That’s what I tell myself, and all who I speak with about my inability to concieve. The truth is I never was. I was not careful and it turns out it really never mattered. I never could get pregnant. What was a relief when you are young and carefree, becomes a spiteful spear to the soul. Now, older, wiser and with my biological alarm clock going off with no warning the year I turn 35 and right after having surgery to remove the diseased tissue that has ruined me for motherhood, I want a child. I don’t care if it’s mine or not. I don’t even honestly care if it is an infant. I just want a child. I am lower middle class, not married to my boyfriend of ten years and most likely not able to adopt. Also, I might add, he does not really seem to share my feelings. So, I live with this, like a holiday wish unfulfilled. The hurt like salt on my supper. Spicing my life, with a little bitterness, I have to swallow. I will always want you, child I will not be able to have. I will always know that.