Once my Dad was really annoyed with my siblings, and was transferring it to me. Walking into a store, I asked if I could have something. He replied, in a low mutter as if talking to himself, with “It’s never enough. You know, your mother is the one who wanted to have kids.” Thanks, Dad. 30 years later and I’m still scarred. Continue reading Unwanted

My kids

Everytime I see myself in my children, I’m disappointed. I’ve made nothing of my life, and only hoped by leaving them with their mother to raise them, they would be better. Yet still, my son may say or do something that I would have done at his age. How do I tell him “no, don’t go down this path, you want to turn out like … Continue reading My kids

Just bitching

My mom is getting on in age. I fluctuate between petrifying fear of losing her and annoyance at her constant maladies. Not much can be done. Arthritis. Pain in her knees. Pain in her heels. I feel horrible hearing it. Her quality of life is suffering. I tell her to stay with me. It she doesn’t want that. She doesn’t like my husband that much … Continue reading Just bitching