Trapped….

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Jan 11th, 2012 | 5 comments

I have three wonderful children, and a man who loves me. Yet most days I think of running away. I love my family, but so often i feel trapped in a life I have control over. I care for them all without fail, and while I love what I am, I feel like I could be so much more! The guilt kills me, but I can’t help what I feel. Am I a horrible person?

Mum and Dad I love you

Posted by Anon in Family on Jan 4th, 2012 | 3 comments

Mum + Dad – You always asked “what have i done for me to treat you like i do” “why dont i speak to you”. Here is the reason why..

Dad- I have never had the courage to tell you why. You treated me like dirt. You hit me as a child, for stupid things, i will never forget the beatings with the blue stick.. the day you hit me so hard with it broke. You always took me for granted, i had to do what you said, if not you would scream and shout and hit. I will never forget the summer when i wasnt aloud out of my room.

I was never good enough, i know you favored my brother over me, you used to buy him new clothes,gifts and i got nothing.

Mum- You never helped me when i needed it, you never provided for me, took an interest. Never noticed the marks from the beatings, and if you did i doubt you would have stood up for me, you preferred my brother to.

Non of you noticed the self harming. I remember each cut and why i did it. The scars are there. Non of you noticed that I turned to selling drugs so i would have money to buy my own clothes and food, as you never provided.

But the thing is i still and will always love you, and it pains me to say or think that as you never loved me.

i hate my toddler

Posted by extremely frustrated in Family on Nov 20th, 2011 | 31 comments

I have the 2y/o from hell. she hits me bites me throws things at me screams/yells at me all day everyday for the last 6months or so. Anything she ruins belongs to me she wont touch her fathers things and shes always getting into things she never goes near when her father is home. we had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep her out of my makeup and jewlery which she has broken/lost and colored with and now i have to wake up at 545am because she destroys the house while im sleeping since she wakes up before my husband leaves for work every morning at 6am.the minute anyone else is around she completely changes into a perfect angel. i have thought about leaving and signing myself into a mental hospital or drugging her into a zombie like state. she is making me crazy and i hate her so much i dont even want to look at her.

I love my grampa

Posted by Missy in Family on Oct 10th, 2011 | 7 comments

My grandfather married my grandmother almost 40 years ago. He took in a retarded teenage step-son and a drug-addicted teenage step-daughter. They never moved out of his house. Neither did I.

I know this isn’t where he wanted his life to go. He probably dreamt of retiring with my grandmother and having the house to themselves, without annoying, crippled, soul-sucking children. Even my friend who moved in has said that I, included with my mom and uncle, are probably a huge regret to his life.

He’s more miserable nowadays. And I’m too scared to help. Too scared to even see or talk to him, much less my grandma. I’m jealous he loves my friend more than me. I’m scared he knows I’m as useless as I really am. Because I love him.

I’ll say hi in the morning.

My sister

Posted by Anon in Family on Sep 11th, 2011 | 14 comments

I think my sister’s daughter is really just not cute at all. I feel bad about it. I do love my niece and i know it’s not her fault but i just think she is a peculiar looking little girl.

I eat chocolate in secret to avoid lectures

Posted by Anony in Family on Sep 11th, 2011 | 5 comments

Because I can’t stand my mother lecturing about my waistline (and I’m in my 20′s!) I eat chocolate in my room in secret, but because I have to wait for an oppertune moment to throw away the wrappers it piles up in my drawers, that’s why I don’t like her specifically getting close to my things or being in my room, just in case she finds the wrappers and thinks I’m some sort of binging food-lusting maniac, even though I could have months worth of chocolate and wrappers. I have a few pounds too many but I’m not obese or anything and I eat healthily otherwise, I just don’t want every single chocolate-moment to be marred with: “IT’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU”

I want to leave my family forgotten in the dust

Posted by Undecided in Family on Aug 15th, 2011 | 4 comments

I hate my parents because they never gave me a healthy childhood since they ignored me. I find my mother annoying because she romanticizes the idea of having a loving relationship with me and acts as if she knows me when speaking to others but she won’t even commit to me as a person. My father on the other hand blames me for everything that went wrong with his life (or at least this is how I interpret it to be). They ruined my high school years by moving me to an isolated area where I had no friends and was bullied by the other students. Because of this I have become extremely introverted and unemotional. I failed my first semester of University because I didn’t want to go there in the first place. I want to save up money and get a nose job so that I don’t see my mother every time I look into a mirror, then I want to change my name, move away and go to a Culinary Institute where I can follow my real passions. I want to live a meaningful life and I can’t stand my parents because all they care about is their bank accounts. Once I save my money I’m hightailing it out of here and never speaking to them again, they don’t deserve that privilege.

dead dad

Posted by zoey in Family on Jul 20th, 2011 | 12 comments

i was 8 when you started to molest me, 9 when you started to hit me, and 10 when you raped me. i was 13 when i got pregnant and about 14 when i had your baby. soon after that mom kicked me out so i was 14 with a baby alone on the streets. im now 22 with a daughter whose not only dead but has horrible sight. im disgusted with what you did to me but i will not let that interfear with the love i have for my child. you may have ****** uo my life but i will not let you **** up hers anymore then you already have. you sick son of a bitch can go to hell because next time i see you around ill kill you myself.

happy, even if mom is dissapointed

Posted by middle daughter in Family on Jul 13th, 2011 | 4 comments

my mother never understood why i loved the boy i married. she wanted some ficticious rich kid doctor or such, and all i wanted was the boy i married.

my husband works hard, we have a home, our kids are ok, we went on vacation once, too expensive really, we have two cars, both used, and we are happy.

he and i have been lovers since we were fourteen, only person either one has ever been with. didn’t get knocked up until after we married.

sorry mom, you see i love him. and if you want to us to come by, you need to quit the dissapointment tirade.

Slowly killing myself

Posted by Anon in Family on Jul 4th, 2011 | 8 comments

I don’t think I’m clinically depressed but I don’t particularly enjoy life and most days I feel indifferent about whether or not I live. I don’t get why people want to live forever – life is bloody hard!

I’m so much happier when I’m at work. I come home to a mother and sister with borderline personality disorders and a narcissistic brother. All I want is peace and quiet. All I want is a little bit of control over my life.

I can’t move out as I am a coward. Marriage would be the only way I could move out respectfully but who would want to marry a monster like me? So I stay at home and I binge eat junk food in secret. I now realise that subconciously I’m killing myself.

Why?

Posted by Anon in Family on Jul 4th, 2011 | 3 comments

Recently I made a decision to let my disabled sis in law move in with my husband and I. I am taking her in b/c no one else wants her around because she is nothing but a lazy butt and a messy slob. I don’t want to see her homeless. But dear lord she drives me INSANE!!! She is an opinionated know it all. I used to do nothing but be upset and depressed because of her, and am now on meds just to deal with the day to day life with her. I feel like It could possibly be one of the worst mistakes I’ve made in a long time, I feel like I have to help b/c she is family but I honestly hate living with her. On a side note she is really great with her nephews, And she does watch them for me so I do try to tolerate her… but she does make it very hard. Also she is very immature, she’s always talking about Fan-fic…and writing fan-fic….she’s like 30 yrs old I think it’s high time she grows up. She makes life annoying!

Who’s the failure now?

Posted by Hope in Family on Jun 14th, 2011 | 14 comments

For as long as I can remember, my mother has never loved me.

She called me names ranging from freak to useless bitch.

She is a self-proclaimed devout Christian who likes to use the Bible as an excuse to punish me for no particular reason. Whenever I did something wrong, she would call me Satan’s daughter, and that I’ll go to hell when I die.

She is manipulative, and saw me as an excuse to vent her anger and frustration because of her failed marriage. She likes yell and scream at me whenever she feels like it.

When I was in high school, she took great lengths in isolating me from my friends. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with them on weekends, or speak to them on the phone.

She likes to make promises, then turns right around and said she never made any promises. It really hurts when the person you’re supposed to trust lies right in your face.
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