i did something horrible to my cousin

Posted by djd in Family on Sep 1st, 2010 | 3 comments

In the hole world, just my step-brother knows about this, and he thoght i lied when i told him, apart from him, nobody knows about this.

When i was 15yo, i hade sex with my little cousin 10 years yonget than me. I have never forgive me about this. I cant look my selft in the mirror without thinking to get rip of me. I have done so many things, thinking that i’ll end up dead about it, but i always fail, eather for my cowardness or for pure coinsidense.

i know you people want me to tell in details how it happend, but i just cant, if i write it, ill remember it, and then the horrible felling will come again so i wont do that. The only think that i can tell its that it was not forceful (kind of concented) and that i dint penetrate her.

I tell this because its that i want to move on, be happy again . Since that happen, i havent felt that my laff was not actualy real, like i dint want other people to concerrn too much about me, because i dint want to be a load for my family and frinds.

Am I a so bad son?

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Aug 29th, 2010 | 3 comments

I wonder if I’m really of all that bad that they says of me… Ok, ok, a lot of things were my fault, I realize tha but I think they really punish me to much…
I will say some of things, goods and bad ones that has happened in my last years (between, I’m 16):

Year of 2001: For what I can record I’ve changed to school to start the 1st year of my elementary school (I’m brazilian, so I guess thats the traduction), to get in the school, you had to make a test of I don’t remember of how much questions to see how much, and if you’d get, a discount in the school mensality, I had a 100% and during the whole year my father had to pay exactly NOTHING for the whole year, and in the following years he had to pay only 50% of the mensalities.

Year of 2004: Now I’ve changed to another school, since a boy in my older one used to bully me and I’m wasn’t being able to study with him on me. In the new school, we had a sistem that the best studentes in every grade may get a medal, and the best student from the school wold get a Trophie. In the same year I got a gold medal and I just din’t get the trophie because I had a tie with a girl that had in her past already 3 medals of gold.

Year of 2005: Another medal and I finally got the trophie in the 1st semester.

Year of 2006: I’ve got a bad grade, not a red one (thats a grade lower than 5,0; here in Brazil grades goes from 0,0 to 10,0) but a 7,5, my father got mad with, sayid things like “The 1st one is the only winner, a 2nd place is just the 1st of a legion of losers!” and he would put me in the worsiest school of the reigon that I live, the name of the place is “School Hiroshima”, a place that have only drugs, violence and prostitution; but my mother made up his mind and he din’t put me in that place.

Year of 2007: Another boy started to bully me and he was making hard for me concentrate in classes. I got a bronze medal, and my parents doesn’t know that. Happily for me, in the 2nd semester the school changed the director and stopped with the Medal Giving Sistem.

Year of 2008: It was when I started to leave home with my friends togo in some places, but my father hated the idea, sayid that my friends weren’t good friendships and made me stop from leaving home, my life became again “from school to home, form home to school”. The boy keeped bulling me.
In this year I joinend the “Order of De Molay”, a kind of Non-Governamental Organ whose main objective was the filantropy.

Year of 2009: I coudn’t take anymore bullies from him, I losed my senses and hit him a lot, ok it was a pleasure, but my dad got so angry with me that he would put me in Hiroshima again, and he really would do it since my grades did falled to much. My mom got pregnant and she used her pregnancy to make his mind and made him stop with that idea.

Today, year of 2010: My father is worsier than ever, at each day he makes more psicological torture in me. He made me left the order (and I was an Orator, that is very important in the order). My mother changed a lot too and now she is every day hittng on me actually she is using brooms. But I am actually studing in a SENAI, that is a profissionalizaing school very important in my country and that had only 18 vacancies for students, and I got in, now I’m getting ready to enter in an Etec, same like the SENAI but even more renomated. I do draw very well, I cook, I know philosofy, psicology and I learned to talk english completaly alone without even making a single school that teachs the language (here in Brazil, someone that talks a 2nd language is the rarest thing of the world, and I talk english, spanish, a little of italian and notions of japanese). But my parents says that I only gives to them shame, sadness, shyness.

So tell me, am I such a bad son? What would you feel if your son was like me? Pride or shame?

The Childhood.

Posted by Fallen in Family on Aug 28th, 2010 | 1 comment

My life was a fairytale, of sorts. We had money, we had multiple cars, I got everything that I wanted, and I was extremely popular for it. The only different thing about my family was, that my parents were the class act drug dealers. The entire circuite from Cuba into the south border up to chicago, through michigan to canada and over to new york was ran in part by my mom and dad. We were loaded, I used bricks of marajauna to climb into their bed when I had nightmares. It was like a fairytale until I turned eleven.
That year, my grandpa died, but that was just before the summer really began.
In June, I was watching Angel, and the cops bust in the doors. There were so many, all had their guns drawn, most were pointed at my dog, who is a pitbull and very bias against intruders. Well, needless to say, the next day my sister and I had to go talk to the social workers. Of course, all of our lives it was “What happens in the house, stays between family.” I knew exactly what that meant. LIE. So apparently that’s what we did.
My dad was the hero, he took the fall for the entire thing, and even turned in people who were bringing 72 lbs of Cubas finest. Later on that summer, we weren’t allowed to leave our grandma’s house, or go back to our own, because these angry men were going to abduct my sister and I until my mom could pay back all of the money that my dad cost them.
Later that year, my parents divorced, and at 12 I began cutting myself shamelessly.
Well, the parent I live with is doing it again, and I can’t tell anyone. But I’m afraid everyday that the police will bust into my nice home, and take me away from my beautiful school, and I will fall from grace again. I know it’s dirty money, but I’m 17, and it’s the only way we pay the bills right now. Maybe I’m wrong, but my parent is doing all that is possible for me, and yet I resent both of us for the fact that it could tear us apart.

mom,

Posted by katie in Family on Aug 25th, 2010 | 2 comments

you were worried about my gay cousin touching me when you should have been worried about my brother touching me…

Sappy..

Posted by Zee in Family on Aug 23rd, 2010 | 2 comments

I really miss my Dad. He died of prostate cancer this year. I hate bringing people down about it, but his absence really gets to me quite often.

my husband beating me

Posted by soffia in Family on Aug 20th, 2010 | 5 comments

i am thirty years old and living in italy without documents i am married last three years my husband has documents this time i am pregnat four months my marriage was love marriage before i never see my husband when i came here in italy i see my husband firsst time . he is elder than me 9 years he is big drucked always beating me when i say something whaat should i do now last week he beating me a lot
his family dont like me now i am pregnant how i can solve this problem my parents are poor i dont want to leave him becz now i am pregnant and also no documts i dont want to do second time marriaage i know if i do this my baby futue will not good anybody tell what should i do

ù

I hate my father.

Posted by Platypus in Family on Aug 16th, 2010 | 3 comments

He abandoned me. I have never seen him in person, only in pictures and we have talked on the phone several times. He always talks about he regrets not seeing me growing up but doesn’t make an effort to see me now. I am angry and wish I could forgive him and move on with my life, but I can’t. I won’t forgive him because he doesn’t feel bad; he has told me he considers himself a good man who is going to die peacefully.

He hurt me really bad. I can’t trust men easily, I am afraid of commitment and marriage. I am an insecure person, timid, introverted; my self-steem is almost non-existent.

I feel unwanted and not capable of giving and receiving love.

Love

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Aug 14th, 2010 | 1 comment

I don’t know whether I truely love my family or not. My mom has made me hate the idea of a family to the point where after I graduate from college Ill never talk to them again. I know this is just me saying stuff but part of me doesn’t think that it’s a bad idea

junkie

Posted by brooke in Family on Aug 13th, 2010 | 5 comments

no matter how long ive been clean for, my family still looks at me as a junkie. im only 17 and i need their support to help me threw this. i dont want to end up like my brother.dead.

Step-kids

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Aug 11th, 2010 | 0 comments

Step-son moved in with us 2 years ago. He has brought so much drama and anger into our house that I can’t stand him. Can’t stand to even be in the same room with him. Counting down the months till he goes off to collage. Can’t say anything to anyone have to smile and act like the happy little family.

Mother-in-Law

Posted by JD in Family on Jul 31st, 2010 | 3 comments

I hate my mother-in-law. She is a horrible parent that constantly puts down her children. She tells them that they are horrible people and that she is embarrassed by them. She tells them that she is dying or moving away to get them to feel sorry for her.

The truth is, she is the embarrassment. She makes good money, but is unable to live within her means. She borrows money for the “payday loans” type places until she cannot borrow any more. She doesn’t pay them back and now none will load her any money.

She also borrows money from my wife (her daughter) all the time. Its the only time she is nice to her daughter….

Recently last month she needed to borrow $400 or lose her car (that she just bought). We didn’t really have the money at that time having just taken a vacation. When we told her we couldn’t make the loan, she proceeded to write my wife a long email detailing how my wife was such a rotten person and that she felt sorry for our son.

I had to call her out on this. I usually don’t get involved with my wife’s family, but this was the straw that broke my back.

Of course, her attitude changed completely once I called her out. Now I am the a-hole and she loves her daughter will all her might.

Luckily, my wife sees her bull and is not falling for it.

I really, really hope that she follows thru with her threat to move away…..

Dear Dad

Posted by YourLovingDaughter in Family on Jul 28th, 2010 | 1 comment

For years I let you manipulate me into hating my mother. I hated her for most of my childhood because of you. You seperated from her time and again, only to beg for her back each time. I didn’t know anything except for what you had told me. I didn’t believe anything she said. When I was 17 that changed.

She began to tell be all about what you had been doing. Your so called ‘morals’, you sell weed and pills to my older sister. You don’t smoke it but you buy it by the pound. You pop pills just to make it through the day. When I was nine I was locked out of our house because you had passed out on the couch from drugs. You dropped my off at my grandmother’s so that you could go party.

When money issues arose, you begged my mom to come home. You said that I needed a mother. And she came home, every time, for her children.

Years later, after dealing with your anger issues everyday and slowly bonding with my mother I find the oppurtunity to move out. When you left my mother for someone 20 years younger than youself. I stayed with mom for as long as I could, but I had to leave. For myself. You introduce me to your new woman. I’m in shock. My mother is beautiful. Always has been. This woman, she is a dog. All she cares about is your ‘money’.

Mom shows me text messages from you about drugs, and she cries. She wanted her family back in one piece. Against my advice she takes you back. I become angry with her. You tell me you want to leave again. You aren’t paying her bills anymore if you aren’t there either. “I’ll move home.” I tell you. “I’ll pay her bills. And if I can’t, would you let me live in the dark?” You say nothing. My mother finally realizes that you aren’t needed. She kicks you out. And without you knowing, she filed for divorce today. She’s stronger than she ever has been. After talking to her, and everyone else around me, for the first time I feel as though the fog has cleared. I see you for what you really are. You stole from my mother and I. And we are taking it back.

It hurts me to think of my life without you. I love you, and have always been your little girl. But I won’t let my mother be wronged by you anymore. Your gone again, with another woman and her child. You tell my mother you always try to call me. There are no missed calls on my phone. You still trying to use me against her, but no more.