damn religion and love

Posted by Anonymous in Confused on Nov 8th, 2009 | 5 comments

My boyfriend of almost seven moths has no real religious preference and i dont think he would leave me but I am Terrified to tell him that i am a Pagan of almost seven years. The only people who know are my best friend, my dad, step-mom and my ex boyfriend. I dont know what to do anymore but i cant hide who i am forever.

Is it considered rape?

Posted by Anonymous in Confused on Nov 4th, 2009 | 27 comments

I was really sick with the flu last week, and I had to take alot of medicines for my coughing and congestion.
My husband knew that I was sick and gave me the medicine. Hes a good husband and always tries to take care of me when I’m sick…
but it kinda bothers me that he kept insisting on me taking more meds until I was too drowsy to even move out of the bed.
I even told him that I was feeling super drowsy and was concerned about it.

He kept on kissing me and taking off all my clothes. I love my husband but it was disturbing how he kept getting on top of me repeatedly having sex, kissing all over etc…
when he knew that I couldn’t move at all.
I feel sad about it, and it bothers me.

I mentioned this to him the other day and he said that I wanted it just as much as he did, when in fact I was really drowsy and needed to sleep. I was feeling like crap, sicker than a dog and all he could think about was having sex :(

I don’t know what to think about it. I feel like it was a violation, yet I know hes my husband.

I Dont Want To Know If You Just Didnt Want Me

Posted by Anonymous in Confused on Oct 15th, 2009 | 7 comments

I looked for the man who left my mother while pregnant with me.
He has a wife (who he was too married befor i was born) and 2 children (both older then me) that i know of.
Im terrified of talking to him incase he tells me that he knew about and for the past 20 years didnt bother with me because i wasnt worth it.
My mother doesnt even know that i looked. I dont want her to feel betrayed.
I havent even told my best friend.
I dont know what to do if you tell me to go away.

Im afraid I’m going to kill someone

Posted by Wish I Didnt Know in Confused on Oct 11th, 2009 | 36 comments

a year ago i found my girlfriend had been raped by her stepdad multiple times.. she has no contact with any of them now but i still sometimes see him at the store or something… ive tried getting over it.. but.. idk.. im sure plenty of people have wanted to kill others.. but there’s a point in your head.. something snaps.. its gone beyond a desire.. its something i fear i’d actually do.. and im torn between wanting justice.. and not wanting prison…

10 years apart

Posted by CanICougar? in Confused on Aug 24th, 2009 | 4 comments

I have a friend who is 10 years younger than me. We live in different cities so we used to chat heaps online…4 hours every night – telling each other things we’ve never told anyone before. Over time I’ve discovered what I feel for him is a lot more than friendship. The trouble is he’s 24 and I’m 34+. He went quiet about a month ago and I told him how it upset me but not how I felt. He says that he’s not hiding anything but it was really abrupt.When i question him he just says I over analyse things.

I decided to try and move on and wouldn’t you know it…now he texts me quite a bit but usually takes 24 hours to reply…even when he has just texted me! His behaviour makes me think either he feels the same way about me but the age thing freaks him or he is embarrassed about me knowing his secrets and tried to drive me away but really needs me. I am in two minds about telling him how i feel cos it may cost me my best friend.

Interracial Lesbian Relationships

Posted by anonymous in Confused on Aug 22nd, 2009 | 8 comments

I am a black female interested in white females. But whenever I do a search for interracial lesbian(s) relationships on the internet (forums or editorials or even pictures) why does 99% of the search results found reference interracial lesbian porn? Don’t get me wrong, lesbian sex is great, but it’s not the only thing black women are interested in. At least not this one. And no offense to the white women (I love them and are so very attracted to them), but why is it the white women that are interested in black women are white ghetto women. I don’t mean hood rats or scummy white women. I mean the kind of white women that don’t care about furthering their education. The kind of white woman that has a job rather than a career. The kind of white women that use “black” slang ALL OF THE TIME. Just because I’m black, it doesn’t mean you should feel the need to act anyway other than yourself. I love intelligent white women. Professional white women. Athletic white women. Academic white women. White women that can spell correctly. White women that can support themselves. I can support myself, you should be able to as well. I don’t like white women that the minute they hook up with a black woman, they want to immediately go down on them. What does that say about you? To me, that says that you don’t care enough about your health or yourself to get to truly know someone past the physical sense. You need to work yourself up to the sex. Then the sex will be amazing. I sure won’t put my mouth on someone that I just met. I don’t want to be with a white woman just to say that I’ve been with one (I’ve actually been with a few). But it seems like alot of white women want to be with black women just to say that they have. There are alot of women from other races that do the same thing. But I’ve personally noticed it with white women.

I’m a horrible human being

Posted by Anonymous in Confused on Jul 23rd, 2009 | 17 comments

I don’t love my step-kids and it FILLS me with rage that my husband pays child support which supports his ex-wife’s social life mortgage etc. Is this normal???

I Sometimes Starve Myself

Posted by dido in Confused on Jul 11th, 2009 | 4 comments

I am a 28 year old woman, weigh 124 and am 5’7. I sometimes stave myself. I can go a long time without eating anything. And if I do, I binge on candy, or stuff that is not what I should be eating. I tried to tell my boyfriend about this and he said that I didn’t have an eating disorder, I just don’t want to get up and actually make something to eat…which is partly right…but the other part is not. I feel a sense of control when I don’t eat. It is not that I think that I am fat, because I know that I am not. It is more of the control thing. My life is stable, my boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years, we live together, have had the same job for 7 years. Why do I feel this way?

Pregnant

Posted by Anonymous in Confused on Jun 16th, 2009 | 15 comments

I am now almost 5 months pregnant and not really sure what to do……My Boyfriend lives 3 hours away we haven’t seen eachother since a fight almost 3 weeks ago when he threw all my clothes out of his house, broke some of my things, told me I overstayed my welcome….and then threw 15 dollars at me that i had given him a couple days before. He has not tried to see me or anything, just calls throught out the day thinking that that is enough….he is not envolved in any way, he says I bitch too much, I told him it was because I do not trust him and if he tried a little more things could get better…he is 26 and has never had any kids, i do not know if i should just change my number, and ignore him……..move on…or just wait until the baby gets here to see if he is going to quit acting like a child???? I can’t go through these feelings everyday of feeling like i have noone to share this with…some days are good becaue i bite my tongue and others are like today were all hes done is send me a stupid text message and i have not recieved any phone calls…..WHAT SHOULD I DO???

Fooled

Posted by Anonymous in Confused on Jun 14th, 2009 | 10 comments

I pretend to be happy.
But I’m really not.
I pretend that I’m selfless, and I try to be.. but I’m not.
I fooled so many people. I’ve bottled up my REAL feelings inside. I don’t want people to know and I don’t want to burden them.
My dreams and goals are getting shattered one by one… from love to education. I don’t know what’s in the future for me anymore.

To Be….?

Posted by Frozen in Confused on Jun 13th, 2009 | 4 comments

I am a 20-year-old undergraduate at a prestigious college. All my life I have only ever dreamed of doing something, ANYTHING, good for the world, but with one catch. I had to get the credit for it. Win-win, I figured. This messed up world gets a savior and I get validation.

I have always prided myself on my intellect and love of learning, and am a very good, very smart student, but now I feel constantly immobilized and terrified by the mundane pressures of day to day life and I have no idea why. Am I so insecure that just the prospect of applying for graduate school sends me into catatonia? Am I so selfish that the thought of living a non-descript life without glory or adventure makes me flirt with suicide?

The worst part is that even talking to a therapist or spiritual leader about this feels shameful — here I am, unworthy, lazy, worthless, taking up more of their valuable time with my insignificant woes. After all, there are rape victims and soldiers with PTSD they should be helping; people who’d actually make something of their lives. I used to dream of healing the world, of being President. Now I dream of being able to smile without lying. My, how pride cometh before the fall.

i know a secret.

Posted by anonymous in Confused on Jun 3rd, 2009 | 9 comments

One of my very closest friends also happens to be my ex-boyfriend. He’s in a relationship with a girl he loves a lot, even though he cheats on her.. with me.

But that isn\t my secret.

My secret is that I found his online dating profile. Looking for men to perform oral sex on and receive anal sex from. I will never tell anyone, and never tell him because it would humiliate him.

He has started being more open about these things with me, saying how he likes the way penises look, and commenting on how he would like a 3some with another guy, but has never come so far as to say he is actively pursuing it. I make a point of being very understanding and open when he tells me about stuff like this, I want him to talk to be about it. I want to know he just has the profile, or if anything has come of it.

I have absolutely nothing wrong with homosexuality or bisexuality, and have some close friends who are openly gay. But finding this out about him, knowing this, makes me sick. It makes me worry so much about him. He is so confused, about more than just his relationship. I want him to tell me but I know why he can’t. I wish I could talk to someone about this, but I know I can’t…

My secret is that I know his secret, but I can’t tell him and won’t tell anyone else and it’s eating away at me.