Secret Confessions

I take things to heart far too much.
When people try to give me advice on anything I post on the internet, I feel like they’re patronising me, that they think I’m an idiot, and when I reply to them I always think that I’m coming across as rude and only making enemies. I never like asking anyone to suggest improvements on anything because it feels like I’m compromising my own artistic integrity, and I feel guilty for doing it because I know they’re only trying to help.
I know that this shouldn’t bother me like this, but it does, and even the slightest hint that someone might not like me sends me into a slight depression. It isn’t healthy, and it can’t be good for my relationships with people. I’m terrified of offending people, but I fear that I can’t help doing it. I know people’s emotions are not made of china and won’t shatter at the slightest thing, but I still fear that someone will take something I say the wrong way, and if they do, I fear that I will come across as a bitch.
It’s bothering me a lot more than it should.

I am in love with my girlfriend, been together for almost 2 yrs. but i just cant stop myself from cheating on her after she broke my trust and disappointing me hard. I cheated on her with 7 different women, but yet i find no comfort in them because she’s the one for me no matter what. she is driving me crazy because i get so paranoid when she goes to work, thinking that she is lying again :(

help!

I think I’m bi.

At least, I really want to kiss my best female friend.

Oh, and my mom’s a flaming homophobe.
And my friend.. I don’t know what she thinks.

I have smoked for a year now. I know my parents don’t want me to, and they don’t know. Some of my friends don’t like it either. but you know what? i don’t care what they think! smoking makes me feel better, and i don’t care what people say. Just because i smoke doesn’t mean that im a bad person. I am deffinately not. I just have dealt with a lot lately, and smoking is somthing i can enjoy and takes off the edge. so GET OFF MY BACK.

Unlike most, I like my Fat. Actually I love it…I wish I could be fatter, and want to date a fat girl or even guy. But i am too much of a coward to admit i might be gay. And too much of a coward to date a fat girl, which is taboo in modern day culture.

I wish i could just be normal, and find the thin/fit girls attractive.

I’ve been told that so many times, and I never listen.
I probably should… heck, I know I should.
I’m a fifteen year old bisexual female, and I got dumped by my girlfriend two months ago.
And I guess that’s where it all started really.
She broke up with me because she said I needed to get help, I wasn’t self-harming at the time, but ever since she broke up with me I’ve tried to kill myself twice and even at school I sometimes just go to the bathroom and cut myself.
I know I’m being stupid and I’ve been told so many times that I need help, but I feel like I don’t want to.
My writing has always been where I turn when I need help and I spill my thoughts onto paper instead of to other people.
But recently it seems like I need to be bleeding in order for me to write. Otherwise the words just get choked up and I can never get them down.
I know I need help, I just don’t know what to do with my life any more.
Please help me.

I often catch myself putting escapism first before things necessary to maintaining my life here. Sometimes I forget what is real and what is not, and I wish I was somewhere else far far away. I tell myself that it would be better there; just like in the books and movies. Then I remember the old proverb that ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’ and I question the validity of that, and wonder if I was where I wished to be, would I wish to come back here?

I think I just want to feel loved, even though I know that there is plenty around me. I have family and friends that love me, but somehow I feel the urge to escape from this world and leave everything behind.

I hate to admit it but iam totally disgusted by my boyfriends body i love him deeply but i hate for him to even kiss on me. al l he does is come home sit and
play video games watch tv and snack never works out and willnot even go for a wolk with me to even try to stay fit
what should i do

my therapist tells me what i’m feeling is normal, that i’ll get over the crush on my same gender friend, my total emotional numbness, the cutting…

i’d rather be sick. cause you get meds for that

I quit a course last year, and was so determined to continue this one. Now though…the thought of being away from everyone else once they leave and I have two more years to go frightens me so much I’ve seriously considered getting pregnant so I have a valid excuse to leave. I haven’t talked myself out of it 100% yet.

I mean really thin. Scarily thin. I want people to look at me and go, ‘look at that boy, he’s far too thin.’
I miss my eating disorder. I miss being repulsed by food. I miss people making those comments.

I want it all back.

so i met this wonderful guy a few months ago. hes charming, sweet, honest, a total dork (i like that in a guy :) and just over all amazing in every way. and he and i have spent almost everyday together. he likes me and i am absolutely crazy about him. the only problem is that he has a horrible ex who cheated on him for almost a year and i totally understant that he has baggage and i dont want to force him into anything that he isnt ready for, i guess it just gets frustrating..but then i feel guilty for feeling frustrated…and i know that he hates his ex and that he wants nothing to do with her, but i always have that nervous feeling in my stomach that he will get back with her. he told me that he does see our weird friendship going somewhere, but he doesnt want it to seem like hes forcing me to wait for him, but i dont mind because there is no one else i want to be with. so we are basically just two people that like each other that are physical at all…which is another frustrating situation, there is some sexual tension..that eventually might become a couple…i worry myself because i think im falling for him hard, and i dont want to like him as much as i do because i always have that looming feeling like its not going to work out and ill get my hopes dashed. its maddening…ya thats pretty much it..thank you for reading

in 7th and 8th grade my friend and myself experimented with eachother. This lasted about a year. he moved away and we went to different highschools. Since then there are certian urges I get to be with a guy. I have been married 4 years and I love my wife very much. I told her about this time in my life and she seems to understand but questions why I told her. I think I get off on telling her about what my friend and I did and how we got caught by his mother.

I’m afraid to tell my mother that I might be bisexual and I cross-dress some of the time. Although I am a girl, I feel like a boy sometimes. Almost everytime. I always love to cross-dress as a guy because I feel comfortable as a guy.

i had a very bad childhood significant with a drunkyard father and later he was jailed for smuggling drugs.left with my mother who was very rough in handling us. i got no love from anywhere.
i was desperate to be loved. i craved for someone to love me truly.
i had an affair in my teens.i loved him deeply and he was from a different caste, but he said he loved me but couldn’t marry me.i was left heart broken.
then again i fall in love with a man of another caste and he too loved me very much.but he couldn’t go aginst his parents and left me again heart broken.
thirdly there wasa friend of mine whom unknowingly i started loving, coz i was very possessive about him. he was jsut a true riend, but i spoiled that relationship and forced him to love me.ultimately he couldn’t and he left me.
loneliness,gripped me and i just want to get rid of my life ultimately married my husband, who is a gem of a person. he loves me very much.
but i can’t love him like how i had loved my lovers.i know he loves me very much but am unable to love him with my whole heart.
i just do my “wife” job dutifully as if it is a profession.
i don’t know why i behave so.
then i met a married man from a different coutnry and both of us strong attraction towards wach other.we tried our level best to avoid that situation. we didn’t get involve physically , but emotionally we got involved so much that i ahd forgot the number of times i have tried walking away from him.we both can;t do without each other.but decided for our kids welfare tos tay together in our matrimonial relationship, but we are in touch constantly.
i feel very jealous about his wife.but i love her too.i know he is her possesion.

last month i met my second ex lover and inspite of 14 years he still has the same feelings for me.he loves his wife very much but says that he is crazy about me and
regrets for not marrying me.he is very rich now and he treated me like a princess when i met him and was with all tears in his eyes saying he still loved me and just want to see mehappy.
all my emotions broke down as i felt why people found me not capable enough of marrying them.
i lvoe everyone with the core of my heart and was sincere and commited to them. they all threw my love away even though they all regret of doing so.

all the past incidence make me grow mad and i feel i am still the same.
i have alot of love in my heart which i could never share with anyone.
my husband is aware about all my past but he never criticise me and instead is very loving support. but my guilt is i cann;t love him i could love my lover.
i am confused about my own identity. what am i doing?please if anyone can help me!
i can’t share this with everyone as people will think i am a flirt!