Secret Confessions

I am in love with two guys. I don’t really know if it’s love or just lust. I want him so bad, but i am in a relationship and so is he. We just started emailing each other again after 3 years and all those emotions have come back. He has everything that I want in a man, but what about my exclusive partner

I fell in love with you over a couple of years.
I put it out of my mind because i did not want to ruin our friendship.
I confessed when we were drunk, and we spent the night together.
now things are weird, and we are not together.
i have turned to drugs to cope, and i am afraid of the person i am becoming.

i fell for a married man at work. he wanted to help me with my problems and then he started to hug me and then rub me on my sides and my arms. he loved being with me. then he felt guilty and it had to stop. i miss him.

i wanted to cut him out of my heart so i placed an x on my chest with a knife. it felt so good. i’m tempted to cut myself again. this isn’t the first time i cut myself. i love how it feels and i don’t know if i can stop it.

please God. I want him back.

I’m bisexual. I haven’t told anyone because I don’t know how to do it. I have this friend, she is in my class and I have a really strong crush on her. She’s straight, I think, and I’m not sure if she would like to have something with me. I really like her, the way she smiles and how she walks, she’s gorgeous. I don’t know what to do, I thought that maybe if we stay away from each other for a while my crush will disappear, but we are forced to work together for a project and I’m dieing to touch her everytime I see her. I don’t know what to to.

I don’t know what to do…I really like someone @ work and its kinda a long story..try to make this brief…I transferred into this new dep’t and right away instant chemistry with him…we laughed all day and talked all day..he would buy me things…but i couldn’t tell if this was b/c he was being friendly and nice/generous…but really liked him..well still do…anyway..heres the thing..sometimes he would flirt with me..it would turn into teasing and then kinda insulting…but I would come back with whatever he would say..I find this fun..I think he did too…anyway..a supervisor put an end to it…I think alot of people didn’t like how our banter was…but the supervisor wrote an emaill about his so called “sexual harrassment” on me but it was nothing of the kind…anyway i got nervous..talked to a girl in the office and she mentioned to me that I liked so an so…I felt kinda naked about it so i said I didn’t like him that i have a boyfriend…well it turned out that the situation goto really bad..the weekend came about…monday morning arrived and the guy I like got mad @ me..(i think b/c that girl told him I had a boyfriend)…anyway.and he was standing there with the supervisor (he is friends wit h the supervisor) and he started in on me…I didn’t want it too get ugly and I was just protecting myself..so I went to a higher authority and told him about this e-mail and how I didn’t like how things were being handled..seeing how the guy I like and supervisor are friends..I felt my job was being threatened..anyway I think things are calming down..but I still like this guy…I guess I will never know…

I don’t know if I am angry, frustrater or hating the fact that he’s ALWAYS around ! I don’t want him hanging out with me and my friends !! he’s using me to get closer to them so he wont be lonely in college!! I don’t judge but I see bad intention vibes coming from him !! I don’t TRUST HIM!!

i love my boyfriend. he’s smart, funny, and really sweet.

the only problem is he makes me almost physically sick by the way he looks. i hate kissing him, and i hate going anywhere in public with him.

i was never shallow before i met him. what the hell is wrong with me. he’s really a great guy.

My Ex has been telling me ever since that she loves me But she never calls and ask about me. When i do shes so excited and shes never more happy.we have been together for 1 year and about 7 months..We broke up because i traveled but i did come back 9 months later. And she still says I love u ..and she says i know i never asked about you but i was hurt! ( meaning shes hurt bcoz she never asked about me. What i think she means she wants me to come to her always. What can i do ?! do i call her or forget her?! the last time we’ve spoken is 4 months ago. Help please

Since I met him, I fell in love, but when we were in a party we kissed and we just ended in bed, that was awsome, he`s my french teacher and I see him everyday, but now I just can´t speak with him, I turn my face when he looked at me . . . but inside, I still loving him, I don´t know why I `m making this!!!

I went out of town this week on business and the night before I left I go so smashed and I have no recollection on what happened. I think I might have done something that I shouldn’t have…I have flashes of that night, but I can’t put all of the pieces back together. I can’t imagine that I was dumb enough to sleep with someone else, but how can I know for sure?? My boyfriend is so freaking wonderful, and I am so incredibly sick to my stomach everytime I see him or think about Wednesday night…I don’t know how long I can handle feeling this way, I can’t believe I was so incredibly STUPID. I don’t know what to do.

I think I’m in love with a guy that is at least 15 years older than me, married and with 2 kids. I say “I think” because I’m not really sure whether it is love or just a not-to-last passion. God, I’m not sure bout what I feel.

I do love hearing his honeyed voice and I do love the warmness of his body when he embraces me. Besides, I’ve already dreamed of kissing him and doing other stuff. He just makes the world feel all right, and I feel really protected when I’m in his warm arms…He’s got this easy breathing, this calmness in his eyes that makes me feel…balanced.

Thing is, I think I’m in love with him because I had an absent father…And now, I’m trying to fill the missing gap that my father left in my heart and mind.

Oh God, I wish I could take him out of my mind.

And, of course, I would NEVER, NEVER make something in order to harm his relationship.

I want to go away for a week and have no one know where I am, that I am gone, or when I will be back. I don’t want any questions or comments, I just want a break from my life.
Its really confusing. I cheated on my boyfriend with my best friend, now I want back with my boyfriend but I hate the thoughts of being a prick to either one..I really love them both.
I wish I could make things right again..but I am not sure what right is.. The trip away would help..problem is I have too many people nosing into what I do to get away like that…I wish I wasn’t 30 and still at home.

I love my boyfriend with all of my heart, I really do, but sometimes it feels like he is a little too controlling. He’s never actually forced me to do or not do anything, but he’s so judgmental about other people, he whines a lot, he has really high standards, and when he talks to me he uses language like “you can’t” or “you won’t”, and even though those are just words and he would never really force me to do or not do anything, those words bother me because of the implication that he is dominant. Maybe I’m just rebellious and picky with words, but it really bothers me that I can’t do anything without worrying about what he will think about it.

Because I know him better than anyone else, I know he doesn’t have a malicious intent when he does these things. He has stated that he’s trying really hard to not be so picky and annoying about everything, and I know that he really just wants to protect us, because he hates the world and believes that everyone is out to screw everyone else, but sometimes I really wish he would give the rest of the world a chance and allow me to be an adult and make my own mistakes every once in a while.

I want to be able to be on my own every once in a while and not have to worry what he thinks. I want to be able to be reckless and stupid every once in a while without him getting angry about it. I want to be my own person.

Lately am starting to wonder if i’m sraight or not, am kind of attracted to men, but i like man to man sex more than man woman sex,(am a 23 year old women), where as i get sick even thinking about lesb. sex. am soooo confused, unsatisfied, and getting depressed.

****. It’s amazing how tiring life has got. Can’t believe you’ve managed to **** me up when i tried to help u. U nothing but a two bit twat who’s not even worthy to breathe air on this earth. Lemme explain to all u readin on this. I’ve known this guy for years on end. He tried to commit suicide and i thought i’d be that supportive frend. now pumpin in life to him and rescuing him from that its left me drained, exhausted and ****** up. he got better and happy when i was helping. somehow we ended up having sex. i was not that into it but it was good. next thing he started having mood swings and i knew he had to be bipolar. he got angry and punched walls i thot he was going to hurt me. he forced me to have sex and he was happy again. little did i knw he was controlling me. only when i was in a well so deep did i realize it was emotional abuse. i tried to keep afloat and help him. i moved faraway, but he hounded me with phone calls every hour of the day threatinin to kill himself or sayin he had bought a gun and was shooting himself, or jumping off a roof if i ever stopped talking to hm. i got him to calm down a few months later, but by then the same feelings of depression and suicide started to plague me. stupidly i tried to get help from him. all he did was degrade me and force me to do sexual acts. the last time he forced himself on me and anally raped me. he was like another person and he jus would not stop when i tried to get him to. i tried to tell him i was leaving and told him i was going to approach his parents to get him institutionalized, but he blackmailed me sayin he wud expose personal information about me to my friends and family. felt so locked, trapped and alone. cause i could not talk to any1. managed to get things together and breakaway from it all. but feel like i am losing it. feel my head is constantly trapd in this past bullshit. my self confidence has been robbed. i was such a bubbly outgoing person. now i cant even concentrate on the simplest tasks at work. my mind is trapd. i am a very intelectual person. have tryd to read books even turn to god. but i still have these feelings. the other day i was happy to know he was hurting and in pain after being attacked. feel like its karma. i am not a horrible person. just now wana be able to live a normal life again. its not easy to let go of the past. especialy if wounds have been inflictd for yrs. this site has let me say this. this is the first time im sayin help me…