Currently Browsing: Confused

Im I going to do the biggest mistake?

Posted by in Confused on Mar 5th, 2008 | 4 comments

I am very conservative person. I fall in love at the age of 22. Now I am 24+ doing MBA. Out relationship is about for 2 years. She is the one and only love in my life. I love her more than anything and I also love my family very much. But I cannot choose one. My family is not accepting me to marry her for many reasons which and I cannot blame them for that as they are doing what they should do-I know! I have protested them for more than a years but I failed to make them accept her. Now why I am confused to decide whether to keep relation with her or not are: She is very dominative, less carrying and does anything she wish when she is angry. She has little respect to my family which I cannot stand. She is extrovert in nature. And many more of her nature I do not like. Knowing these things she insists of doing all the things. If I try to control her, she goes more out of control. I am still love her but I am now confused “Can I be happy with her? Should I take the risk of loosing my family for her? If I break up with her now, will I regreat at future for loosing my love? What would happen to me if I make a choice?”
I am confused! I am too young about life. Please people who knows life better, advise me!!!!!!!!!!

Chaos n Turmoil

Posted by in Confused, Guilt on Mar 1st, 2008 | 0 comments

I have nothing valid to confess actually…..im just pouring out all the chaos n turmoil im my mind….life’s going fine but the scars that my previous relationship has left have become sour … i think of myself as a person bereft of human feelings … im not cribbing over past happenings but im laughing at myself for doing all those things.The last thing i wanna sound like is EMO… no depression bullshit ….no cuttin hand …..’
Only thing is that i feel im inadequate in the sense that if i ask out another girl ill be turned down….and there are other issues like lust …. you know the feeling when you look at a girl ..you hate her at the same time youre sexually attracted towards her….well a girl in my class sits right in front of me and i get so turned on by her ….**** shes so hot ….
So these are the things i go thru ,thanks for listening
p.s hope it gets published cuz it would really help.

I Have no Control

Posted by in Confused on Jan 28th, 2008 | 3 comments

I know a lot of things I do are wrong and I try not to but I just can’t stop myself. When I was younger the father of a kid I babysat offered to pay me to get naked for him. He’d give me 20 bucks for like 10 minutes of looking at me. He and his friends paid me 100 bucks to be a nude waitress at their poker game. I was 14 at the time. Not long, I was trading strangers oral sex for buying me alcohol. I’ve been in gang bangs and all sorts of stuff. My biggest problem is if someone offers me money to something slutty I will do it because I can’t stop myself. When I am alone I laugh like crazy because these fools will pay anything. I think I have a problem.

Validation.

Posted by in Confused on Jan 27th, 2008 | 2 comments

So I have this ex-boyfriend.

We’re on a friendly basis, and he just transferred to a new college. He calls me, and tells me he has this amazing job, and cool first week of school.

I wanted to succeed first; to get a new boyfriend, or a new cool activity that I could flaunt.

I feel like a failure, like I’ve been wasting my time in college and not putting myself on the paths that I want to be on.

I want to write for the paper, but I don’t. I want to take a dancing class, but I don’t.
Its always “next quarter,” “next week,” and I just sit and watch internet movies. And sometimes read school books.

I want a new boy to care about, so I can finally sever this attachment to my ex. I read his myspace mail, since he gave me his password back in our heyday; still keeping tabs on him. But for what? I haven’t the right to be jealous of him, and its a jerky thing to do, this begrudging him his happiness.

But I can’t stop; I still want him to want me. Kind of a validation thing, I guess. And when he’s being happy with himself and his life, he isn’t moping about me.

Ugh. I’m such a failure at life.

Friends and Failed Relationships

Posted by in Confused on Jan 15th, 2008 | 1 comment

Okay. I have a few things I want to say…

First: I feel like I’ve lost one of the few people who really cared about me. I became REALLY close friends with him last summer, and then we started dating… And then I cheated on him, and then broke up with him shortly after.. And then we got into a huge fight that lasted about 24 hours, but where I said some extremely hurtful things to him.. and then I suddenly decided I would really miss him if I didn’t ever talk to him again, so we both decided to stop arguing. Now we aren’t very close. We don’t talk a lot and I want my friend back. I’m trying to become closer to him again but I don’t know how it will work. I was really mean to him..

Second: I’m struggling with my own feelings of attraction. I don’t know who or what I’m attracted to. I’m not going to lie, lately(and for at least two years now) I’ve become increasingly attracted to girls. That’s not my problem; if that’s who I am, that’s who I am. (except the guy mentioned above. I don’t know what that was about) It’s just that everyone I am attracted emotionally or physically is a girl, and they’re straight or not interested. For example, one of my good friends is obsessed with this guy she met very recently and made out with after knowing him for a very short time.. but anyway, I reallly like her a lot, but she’s completely oblivious, as she thinks I like someone else completely.

also, concerning friends. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere within my group of friends. I’m not even content with the best friend that I have

guns?

Posted by in Confused on Jan 10th, 2008 | 1 comment

ever since a random person pointed a gun at my friend i feel like i want to get a gun and do that

I know

Posted by in Confused on Dec 24th, 2007 | 2 comments

I know exactly how I want my life to be- I work hard to get it there and some days it doesn’t seem to amount to shit.

Does he know?

Posted by in Confused on Dec 18th, 2007 | 5 comments

I go to work everyday and wonder if he knows. I go to bed thinking about him. I am too afraid to say something or approach him. I need to touch him.If my girlfriend found out she would leave me.

Why Do I Even bother???

Posted by in Confused on Nov 28th, 2007 | 3 comments

I’m inlove with an older women, she’s 20 something and i’m 14. I’ve tried so hard to impress her, and she still can’t tell that im inlove.It could be bacause, she’s not lez like i am, or maybe because I haven’t tried hard enough. I don’t know. All i know is that i’m crazy out of the world inlove with her and the one thing that really bothers me is that she doesn’t even know. Why can’t i just tell her. You know, say,”Elizabeth, I im in love with you.”
Why did i have to fall for someone older then i am, someone who isn’t like am, and someone who prbably doesn’t go for the whole bi/homosexual, because she’s a christian who follows the bible?

I think I’m bisexual… don’t tell my boyfriend

Posted by in Confused on Nov 15th, 2007 | 12 comments

I love my boyfriend to bits and could never imagine my life without him. We have a great sex life. However I frequently fantazise about women. I read lesbian erotica and it really turns me on.

There. I said it.

And on top of that I’m a Christian and I have lots of very Evangelical friends. If they knew how I sometimes feel about women…

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