I never told him I had an abortion

when I was 27 I got pregnant with him. I really didn’t want to keep it. It didn’t work out with my job at all and I’d make a really, really horrible mother. I know that all sounds really cold and heartless, but that’s how it is. I was afraid to tell him, because I feared he’d try to talk me out of it. I had the abortion when he was on a businesstrip, when he came back I managed to pretend nothing had happened. I felt so horrible. Not that I regretted the abortion, but I really missed having someone to talk to. I made a mistake by not telling him, but by the time I’d figured that out it seemed too late to change that.
Eventually things got better and now (2 yrs later) we’re about to get married. One part of me says I should tell him to be able to start our marriage without lies and secrets, but the other part says it would only cause more pain if I told him. He might hate me for it. I really don’t know what to do.

Tired

I just want to run away and become a whole other person.

I am really just plain tired of everything. I moved to a city to be close to my parents, left a good job, and now I’m living with them, not working, and what I thought was going to be a positive experience, has turned sour.

I am deeply in debt, and I cannot find a job in my field, but I feel responsible for being here since my sibling passed away a couple of years ago and I’m all they have left. I feel like all this pressure is on me as the one left.

On top of that, I’m in love with someone who doesn’t seem to feel the same way, and I can’t seem to purge this person out of my life.

I’m exhausted and confused. I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.

I Like Being Upset..

I dont know why, but i’ve realized that i like to be depressed/upset/sad.. i love the feeling.. and i dont know why. feels as if its just me who feels like this.. i start therapy this week, but i wonder if i should tell them that i feel like that, maybe they’ll think im mental..

Selfish

I love my husband, but I love another man as well. I want them both. Maybe I don’t know how to be happy. I feel guilty for hurting this man I care so much for, and I feel like I’m betraying my husband for having such strong feelings for someone else. Why am I doing this to all of us?

I Want To Go Anorexic

I hate my body, and I haven’t found any other way to lose weight. Every day after I eat I want to go and throw it up. I’ve been trying to go anorexic but I dont want my parents to find out, or my friends. Im 13 going on 14, our teachers are going really heavy on trying to teach us how bad it is to get that disorder. But I want it, wish I had it. Then kids wouldn’t make fun of me. I wish I knew how I would feel and react after purging becuase I dont want to deal with the guilt of what I would be doing, but I think Im just going to do it. And get it over with.

Raped

I was raped over two years ago and I was a virgin at the time. I am having a hard time getting over it.

Confused

My boyfriend and i have just recently broken up (around 2 months ago) anyway he got a new girlfriend a month after that. and of couse i was heart broken and i missed him so much i even did so much to try and get him back. but he was still a good friend and we never hated eachother. so i decided that id just try to just be his bestfriend and nothing more. he came over to my house a couple of times even while he was with the other girl. and on the 2nd visit we did stuff. he said he missed me and well things just happened. and i like it and he does too. but is it wrong? well now he’s broken up with his girlfriend and were both single. and he’s been over alot and we’ve done alot together but i dont think he wants to get together with me. so i thought but us always “doing stuff” to eachother that this would help us but i dont know anymore. so today i made a big decision to tell him that i dont want us to “do stuff” while he’s over anymore because it was hurting me. and it does, it makes me miss him so much and saddens me that we’re not together. i dont know what will happen next, but i hope it turns out ok and that my decision doesnt affect our friendship.

I’m in love with a man nearly twice my age

I’ve known him for 5 maybe 6 years. What started out as a friendship has grown in something completely unexpected. But the fact that we are about 24 years apart is disturbing to most people. It’s ok with me because when I am with him the age just doesn’t seem to be an issue. We have so much fun and are perfect for each other. The age difference keeps me from telling about him to other people because I don’t want to deal with the reaction they will have. My closest friends know about him and have accepted it without question but I can’t make new friends without keeping this a secret. He’s my parents’ age but he looks a lot younger so when they see him they don’t think about it too much. But if they don’t know him and ask me questions, I always feel like I have to lie about everything. Over time I have gotten comfortable about it but I am still not as comfortable as he is. He has kids that know and like me. I have had a lot of getting used to but I am still embarrassed that people are telling me I can “do better”. I wonder if I am attractive enough for a guy my age? But even if I could, I don’t want to be with anyone else but him. I am just so confused.

Dreams (Good or Bad) ??????

I am sure i’m straght because the thought of being with a guy just makes me feel amazeing and I have a crush on a boy at school.
But lately I been havein dreames about this girl at school In the year below. I know she is straight as she has a boyfriend In my year.
I really do like guys but everytime I see her I get the same kind of feeling about her as I do with guys. When we sit near each other to chat with friends I cant help but think about her in my dreams which get weirder and stranger everytime I have one.
After these dreams I cant help but think about her and about how fucked up I am.
when the dreams first started I bearly even knew who she was I bearly knew she exsited.
I’m 17 and think i should be beond the age of silly dreams but in some way i am disapointed when i have a night without them.

Im so confused abuot what to think
I dont know what is going on in my own head
please someone hlpe me!!

I’m going to hell

I’ve been playing with someone’s feelings. This person thinks he loves me and I love him. I don’t feel anything for him. I’m only having fun. I know it’s wrong but it’s very addictive. I’ve tried to stop but I can’t and he’s so infauted. I don’t feel guilty but I feel like I should.

Carreer vs. Pleasure

I want to be a teacher.

I love the smell of marijuana on my skin.

I’m having a hard time deciding which one to hold onto.

Pregnant again

I cant believe Im in this situation again.I already have 4 kids. My baby will be one next month.And Im thinking I cant do this..I work long hours..My husband hasnt been able to find a job.I cant do this..My insurance is already kicking my butt.Cant get any assistance Because they say I make to much money..I feel like Im going to hell for thinking about a aboration..I really dont know what to do.