lost

I am falling back into love with my first boyfriend. I am engaged to someone else. Now that he is gone and off to school. I find myself being with my old boyfriend a lot and I can’t decide what I want anymore. All i want to do is be with him, even when my fiance is home for the weekend.

I pick at my face

I pick at my face. I have for years. I don’t want to, but don’t seem to have enough will power to stop the compulsion.

I feel like there is something inside of me that I want out. All the time.

I have scars. It makes me sad. But not sad enough to stop.

I don’t know what to do anymore

I’m 18 years old, only kissed 2 girls, and never had a girlfriend… Just this past friday, I went on a date with a girl, she pretty much asked me out, and when I asked her (after I got home) if she enjoyed our evening she said what all the other girls said “I only see you as a friend, but your a really good friend” it just seems that all I am is just a really good friend. I’ve only asked out 4 or 5 girls throughout all of high school, but when you get the same response from most of them you just seem to wonder if something is wrong with you…are you not boyfriend “material”. I tell myself that the only thing I want in life is love, and it feels like God is making it so hard for me to find it.
When I was 15, I used to cut, it would get things off of my mind, make bad thoughts go away for a while, but I felt guilty, but I guess feeling guilt was better then feeling lonely, and to this day I feel lonely everyday. Every night when I go to bed I just think about how much I want to cuddle with someone when I sleep, and wake up with them in my arms…I’m beginning to think it’ll never happen. Like I said it sucks thinking that something is wrong with you, what is even worse is thinking you’ll be lonely forever.
The only thing I want to do is make a girl feel happy, and it seems I can only do that as a really good friend to them…

Forbidden fruit of the garden

I’m a 15 year old girl, and I live with my parents. We have a little garden outback of our house, and we grow tomatoes, cherry’s, green beans, ect. And my dad has his own special plants growing in a secluded area of the garden. Both my parents smoke pot. Pretty much everybody in my family does, and it has always been that way. My parents are total hypocrites, my mom smokes cigarettes, (a gross expensive habbit) they both smoke pot, and when they were really young, they even messed around with some really bad drugs. (But don’t get me wrong, they are great parents and take great care of me, and love me.) I know that all of these things are bad, but my dad is always saying how great pot is, and that it should be legalized, and it has medicinal puposes, ect, ect. I grew up hearing these things, so I can’t help but belive it a little bit. I would NEVER consider doing the really bad stuff, (like meth, crack, ect.) But I can’t help but be curious about pot. It isn’t as bad as the other drugs. I admit that I have had alcohol before. And lately, I have been REALLY wanting to try pot. I dream about it at night, and have been contemplating ways to sneak some from the garden. But I know I could never get away with it without him noticing. I KNOW it’s bad, and I KNOW it’s illegal, and I feel bad for thinking this way. But I’m just lost. Everytime I go out there to pick tomatoes, and cherry’s ect, I see those plants. Forbidden, yet tempting. Any advice. (Please don’t be mean, I feel bad enough as it is, and I’m kicking myself for thinking this way.)

I’m a Transexual in love affair with an E Indian ….

I’m 35 passable all American and he’s 23 student from India. He lost his virginity to me months ago and we have been having this secret affair ever since. I’ve lived w/ the same guy for 10 yrs but not in love w/ him and we never have sex. But the Indian guy and I are strongly attracted and madly in love and he’s always talked about marriage. Can this really work??? I mean the 2 different cultures?? What if his parents don’t approve?? And I’m a pre-op Transexual white girl. If he asked me to marry him I would. I really do love him so much.

Twisted

As much as I do not want to have any children, if it happened by accident I would not object.
I ponder just taking the pills I was prescribed and just failing to tell my fiancé so he would think it was a miracle.
I worry I will feel as if I missed out on something by not having children, but I also worry I might regret giving up my plans.

my decision

im 15 and 3weeks pregnant. i never wanted to have a baby not even when im older, but im prolife and wont kill my baby because of my stupid decision.ive been thinking rather to keep the baby or to give the baby up for adoption. either way i cant see myself raising him/her and being a good teen mother, and i cant see myself giving him/her away to people i dont even know like my mother did to me. im scarred that with whatever decision i make ill regret it later on.

I’m so scared…

I think I might be a lesbian, but I’m scared to tell anyone. One, because it’ll break my boyfriend’s heart, two, my dad will probably disown me. Three, all of my friends will say “I told you so.” But mainly because my mom would be so disappointed in me…if she were still alive.

Lost Virginity to a guy 7 years older than me

When I was 19, I lost my virginity to a guy 7 years old older than me. He kind of pressured me into it. During the first 6 months, he said he wanted to live together but I never did. I should have never given into the sex. He was 26. We have been hanging out together almost every week. During the first two years he was always into sex and then it became nonexistent recently for the past 5 years. He does not show any sort of affection for five years not even holding hands or kisses. He says he likes to hang out with me but Im confused because I have never met any of his friends at all.
He does not introduce me as a girlfriend ever but he calls me every night and talks to me. He spends alot of his time with me. He says he doesn’t want to take things seriously until later on but he does one action and contradicts what he say. He is already 31. I think he is just saying he doesn’t want anything serious because he actually does not want me as a girlfriend, and just waiting around for someone better. I am very confused to the point where I feel like some sort of whore. I have never had sexual things with anyone else but him. I have talked to him numerous times and he always brushes off the topic and makes jokes. Throughout the years I have never went out with someone else, because I thought he had feelings for me. I have reached my breaking point and have lost my cool because I feel like I gave up everything for him including my social life and now he says he doesn’t want anything serious. I know I was stupid when I was younger but I really don’t know what to do now.

help me

i’m a 24 years old guy and my wife she’s 27,i know my wife for 3 weeks before we got married and she had a 4 years daughter everything was perfect until 1 month we got married i found out that she is cheating on me with her co-worker that she said is her crush before she meet me,i really love her and she really sorry and ask for a second chance,what should i do???i’m really hurt and confused right now??

Husband showed me off naked

I was just cleaning out and shredding some old bills and came across a cd-rom in the bottom of the desk drawer. When I put it into the computer I found it had dozens of image pictures of me in the nude which my husband of 12 years had secretly taken of me. Pictures of me in the shower, undressing, sleeping and so on. I did not know what to think or feel and then I found some images with printing on them from where he sent them to some websites, and then saved the images off the site again. I looked some of the sites up and now know from the view counters and comments that over 50,000 strangers have seen my pictures showing my face and all of my secrets! My head is spinning and I am confused as to what to do next. My emotions are all over the place right now. How do I confront this? Should I?

Im not ready to marry and settle down..

We are getting married in five months, buying a home shortly and all I want to do is run. Im so scared it wont work out because all the relationships around us have failed. I dont want to loose him but sometimes I want to stop being so mature in life and act like the irresponsible drinking 20 some year old that my friends are all doing. I also cant stop sexting my ex and thinking how he was better in bed and missing it…