I’ve given up hope

Posted by broken beyond repair in Alone on Jun 20th, 2010 | 2 comments

I’ve accepted many things as just part of my life:

If I have any periods of time not hallucinating, the hallucinations will come back quickly.
I will always have thoughts of suicide.
I will always have an eating disorder.
I will always return to self injury.

The most recent one was that I will never be free from depression. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be happy for more than a day.

My goals are just to not kill myself, not end up in jail, and not have to go back to a psychiatric hospital. That last one may not happen.

Realizing that this is all my life is was a painful realization, but why hope for what will never be.

Lonely and worried

Posted by T.G in Alone on Jun 19th, 2010 | 4 comments

I try so hard to be nice to everyone. I want everyone to like me. And yet, when they have parties or go to just hang out, I’m never invited. And then they all act like they feel bad when i ask them about it later. If they feel so bad, why don’t they just invite me next time? They always act to so happy to see me and they tell me how funny I am and how nice to be around I am.

I’m so scared that there’s something wrong with me that everyone can see but me.
Like I have some sort of social defect that no one has told me about. I’m a mellow person. Not overbearing at all. I just want to know what I’m doing wrong. And I want to know how long I will be this way. If I’ll ever find a husband who will ever truly love me or if he’s just settling because I’m nice.
I’m interesting. I have a very good taste in music and movies and I don’t tell too many stories. I’M NOT BORING! But I am weird? Do I come off as judgmental because I don’t drink or smoke like most of my friends? Even the ones who don’t smoke don’t want me around, though.

I just want friends. The kind of friends who will stick with you through anything. Just a small group of 3 or 4 girls. That’s all. I’m not ugly, I don’t smell, I’m not mean. Why can’t I find friends? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?!?

you want an honest answer?

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on Jun 18th, 2010 | 2 comments

you want an honest answer? OK then. I’m not OK, i haven’t been for a long time. As a matter of fact I want nothing more than, even on good days, to end my life.

Worst mistake ever?

Posted by Beno in Alone on Jun 17th, 2010 | 4 comments

I can’t believe I left her in Denver for another woman who I didn’t even like and now every time I see her I wish I could take it back and just be with her… But she will never forgive me…

Alone

Posted by anonymous. in Alone on Jun 16th, 2010 | 6 comments

I spend every day trying to forget how alone I am. When the occasional friend contacts me I am on cloud 9 but that only lasts a day or two. I throw myself into books/music but that is not even helping anymore. I wish I had the guts to do something about this pathetic life.

Crying…

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on Jun 9th, 2010 | 5 comments

I really think there’s something wrong with me…every little thing upsets me, I just want to cry all the time, and I don’t know why. I hide it away from my family, when they leave home all I do is cry and think of sad things. I hate being home alone now that im on school holiday for 5 weeks. Just wish someone could come to me and never leave…

Hope I get over this…

wish I would die

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on Jun 9th, 2010 | 8 comments

I just wish I would never wake up again. Sorry

depression

Posted by alone in Alone on May 25th, 2010 | 3 comments

I feel closer to the people in my anonymous depression chat room than I do to anyone in my life. Im not depressed. Im just lonely.

“Pandora”

Posted by Pandora in Alone on May 22nd, 2010 | 3 comments

I wrote a book about a girl called Pandora..
Its all about love, hate, jealousy, betrayal and death.
truth is..

the cheating the jealous the loving something u can never have
the horrible bits where her boyfriend beats her, she gets raped, she gets rids of her baby, when shes bullied to the bit where they almost kill her..
when shes trying to commit suicide..

no1 in the whole world wants her anymore..
that was me..

that girl lying face down in glass with blood on her.. was one time me..
Im gald to say after i put the end
i know
for Pandora its over.. but im living with how much it hurts everyday..

Give up and Hide forever

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on May 18th, 2010 | 2 comments

I hate it when I am forced to view my life seriously. Because it pains me to see what a failure I am, whatever I try, I am destined to fail in the end. I just don’t belong here. I have been escaping from everything I hate for so long, drowning in all sorts of entertainment to refrain looking at my own life.I am just depressed, wasting life but I simply could not save myself.
I want to give up and hide forever.

I have been told to seek for professional help, but I am just a poor student. I shared my problem with my mum, but she thinks that my problem is not that serious, she thinks that I do not need a shrink.

And in the end, I can only continue hiding alone.

I will be gone from this world soon

Posted by Unknowngirl in Alone on May 16th, 2010 | 19 comments

I have tried to get help, I have tried to do the right things in my life…only bad things happen now to me. I decide I will kill myself after this semester is over for college. I am 19 and I am ready to die. =)I am sick of being alone and if I die then finally I will be where all the other suicide people are. I will not be alone anymore.

Turner’s syndrome

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on May 12th, 2010 | 6 comments

I lost my daughter to turners syndrome at the age of 18 while i was 6 months pregnant with her. she died in my tummy and i had to deliver her and push her out like she was an alive baby. it was the hardest thing i have ever done. its almost been a year and i still cry everyday. I had another daughter before her who is my world. I love her to death. she is what keeps me going during the day.

but some days i feel like crashing my car when i am alone driving just to see if i will live or die.

I even wanna close my eyes and drive just to see what would happen.

i constantly tell my boyfriend im going to kill myself just to get his attention. even though i never would. I could never leave my daughter and if i were to kill myself id never meet my other daughter who is in heaven.

i feel as if i am a lost soul and i don’t want my daughter growing up knowing her mom isnt the best mom she could be because she could never really get over her sisters death.
how can i come to peace with losing my daughter?