A gay mess

Posted by Yea in Alone on Jan 7th, 2012 | 3 comments

I just graduated from a prestigious college, but aside from that my life is in ruins.
I’m in holy debt, I’m desperate for a job and broke, nothing motivates me and i’m all alone.
So many days I carry a bottle a pills with me and dare myself to take them all, but i’m a failure at that too.
my sexuality hurts me i’m not confortable with it i hate being gay, as if my life isn’t hard enough i have to hide my feelings for women and when i think i do find someone thats great they turn out to use me for sex and money if i don’t have to courage to kill myself i might as well run away, for so many years i’ve thought of the perfect getaway.

just know i’m not dead

No One’s that good of an actor…

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on Jan 4th, 2012 | 4 comments

No one in my life actually knows me. People see me as a strong, well-spoken, honest to a fault, woman who can take care of herself. But the truth is that I am almost three thousand dollars behind in my bills, and lying to my partner about it, I lied to my friends about a situation where I lost my job, because I was ashamed, and I hide who I am everyday. My partner of 4 years has no idea who I am, and I am tired of being alone. Ever since my parents died when I was in college, I have been losing a little bit more of myself every day. I am just waiting for the day when I will just cease to exist completely…

On death’s doorstep

Posted by Baby Jane in Alone on Jan 4th, 2012 | 2 comments

I just turned 28 yet I feel 98. I have type one diabetes, a back injury, insomnia, depression, and high high anxiety. No healthcare. I grow more and more thin and sickly everyday. I have no boyfriend or kids or much support at all whatsoever. I’m scared I’ll die young and alone. I am forgotten. I am so sick of being sick.

Forgettable

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on Nov 20th, 2011 | 38 comments

Sometimes I think about killing myself. If I were to die, no one would really care. I am going to college to be a nurse, but now I don’t really see the point anymore. I could easily be replaced. There are so many other people out there can do what I do and do it better.I have realized that I am not that special. I am invisible and no one will remember me. If I commit suicide, a few people, like my parents, might be sad. But they will move on with their lives. They will eventually get over it and forget I have ever existed.

Loner in the class

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on Nov 20th, 2011 | 6 comments

I’m all alone. Sat on my chair in the class while my friends went out to the canteen. Listened to the music on headphone while my friends had fun. I always feel that they left me behind, exclude me from everything they did together. I tried to get close to them, but I’m too afraid. I just keep thinking that my friends hate me. I’m smart in the class, but when they asked me about the subject that they didn’t understand, I just can’t explain it well to them. They misunderstood that I didn’t want to explain it and began to think that I’m arrogant and selfish. Maybe that’s why they hate me.

I wish I were perfect..

Posted by neverhappy in Alone on Sep 13th, 2011 | 14 comments

Every time I look in the mirror I want to cry. I can’t make friends because I am so insecure about my body and my looks. Each time I try to get into shape, eat healthy, and do something about the looks that I’m so insecure about, I can’t. I can’t because I get depressed and mopey and eat.

I had a boyfriend who told me I was stupid every day. I lived with his family and him for five months and became a total mess. He was controlling and jealous. He left me for a prettier girl, and told me that the only reason he was ever with me was because he didn’t have any other options, and that he was lonely.

I’m with a new guy now, he’s absolutely wonderful… but I’m extremely jealous. I get mad every time he wants to hang out with another girl, touches another girl, smiles at another girl, comments that a girl looks nice. I can usually keep myself under control, but when it all builds up, I just can’t help it. It has caused too much trauma to our relationship.

I fear that my insecurities, my jealousy and even my personality will force me to live alone for the rest of my life, and all I’ll have is a couple of cats and my work.

Getting out of all my relationships

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on Aug 29th, 2011 | 17 comments

I’m 24 and i’ve been with my girlfriend for 6 years now. We fight all the time about money, marriage…the future etc. I can’t even stand being with her, its so awkward most of the time and we barely make love anymore. I watch a lot of porn and play video games to ease my stress. We don’t live together and she just quit college because she didn’t want to take her program anymore so now she is in major debt now working a minimum pay job while im working hard making stable money for the future. All she does is want to move forward when im telling her were not ready and she just wants to get married and have a house asap. I know she is not in it for the money and she is marriage material but its not the type of life i want to live right now. I’ve also got so many problems right now with my family at home. I don’t even say hi to my mom, dad, sisters just because they made it hard for me to live there. Parents pushed me through school and I finished college just to get them off my back. They always complain about me being a mess at home and I dont even have my own room for privacy I just live in the main floor with a room divider so that people walk in and out of just to get to the laundry/exit the house. I want to get out of this life and live alone……

Forever Alone

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on Aug 29th, 2011 | 2 comments

I think everybody hates me and excludes me from everything. I think that they don’t put the effort in, truth is, I don’t put the effort into my friendships. It took losing everyone to finally realise this. I don’t want to feel like this anymore, and I’m too scared to ask for help even though I don’t want to be forever alone.

i am so ugly

Posted by monster in Alone on Aug 21st, 2011 | 25 comments

i am so horrible that all males in my high school treated me as monster.
i was rejected by my peers because of my figures.
I had a illness that contribute to my horrible figure, and i never recovered
no one want to be close to me , to understand me, coz i am ugly.
i am not going to be loved , not to mention having a boyfriend or getting married
god is so unfair, the beauty has everything, the love, the fame ….
while i have nothing
Every time i love someone , i am waiting to be rejected, coz he will only like the beauty

i hate it!

Suicidal

Posted by Anonymous in Alone on Aug 21st, 2011 | 16 comments

I am married I have 3 kids and still I feel so alone. I wake up every morning disappointed to be alive. I look in the mirror with disgust, hating what I have become. I do nto go out in public anymore as being around other people only enrages me. The mere thought of being around people makes me cringe. I think of only dark things, death, murder,and suicide. I find myself disgusted by the world around me and wish to see it cleansed from the earth. My sould seems dead, but yet I breath. My attempts at death only result in fear of how I would hurt my wife and kids. My attempts at life only bring me closer to death. I pray for death, but am still alive, if only in the biological sense.

prisoner to my own family

Posted by JaMarie in Alone on Aug 17th, 2011 | 13 comments

For the past three years I have been friendless, and for the most part confined to my home. Although we’ve moved three times the routine is always the same. These walls of my house feel like my cell. I have no freedom. It takes me back to being a teenager, when I was grounded to my room weeks on end, and the emotional wounds produced from the social isolation are alarmingly familiar. Here I am, married with two small kids, I stay at home. We are limited by one car, my husband works an hr away so I can’t just drive him to work and have the car for the day- gas costs too much, and most the time he works 8:30am-9:30pm. I feel completely socially isolated in this new city. Just me and the kids again today, its always the same routine. I’m bored with my life! I miss my old life of excitement and being spontanious and feeling sexy and fun! I miss being happy. Im 26 I shouldn’t feel this way! I feel my internal light dimming every day. My family is poor, we can’t afford to go DO ANYTHING entertaining, My husband works 6 days a wk so that doesn’t allow for much family time anyway. We can’t even afford a babysitter for a date night. Hell, we don’t even know a babysitter anyway. All I can ever think about is, How can i fake my own death so I can sneak off and do whatever the heck I wanna do? But in reality that would break three ppl’s hearts and I can’t live with that. This is hopeless. I know I should be thankful for what I have But I can’t find those feelings. If there are so many wives/mothers that are lonely like this ( i’ve read other postings online)Why do I still feel all alone? I honestly don’t know if I can take another day like this.

Eating a bullet

Posted by Solo in Alone on Aug 15th, 2011 | 6 comments

There are so many days that I think about suicide, and how I would do it. I think about who might care and who wouldn’t. No one knows the hurt I feel because I cover it up with a smile. When it all comes down to it…I don’t think I would ever have the courage to follow through.