I realize, now, I am not good-looking.

I am 50. Male. I have never, ever, had a woman spontaneously start a conversation to ‘flirt’. No conversations except transactional ‘business’-type ones. Only recently have I learned that sometimes women ‘make the first move’ and approach men. Even when I was younger, I would always be the one to initiate any flirtation. Apparently, I am not now, nor was I ever, ‘attractive’. Continue reading I realize, now, I am not good-looking.

Lonely

I’ve been struggling with a big depression for a while now and I just want people to know. But I’ll never tell anyone unless I really have too. I’ve been drunk most days the last few weeks including today. I’m just so lonely and I really want someone to notice that I’m not doing great and to spend time with me, but nobody ever does. Continue reading Lonely

I want to hurt people/myself when I’m too happy

Whenever I get overly excited about something, like overreacting, I tend to want to just cut myself, stab myself or someone else. I’ve choked people before out of happiness, but I was younger, about 10 years old. I really just want to stab people when I’m happy, or even when I’m not. Sometimes, when I’m feeling too numb to the world, I feel like cutting … Continue reading I want to hurt people/myself when I’m too happy