Turner’s syndrome
Posted by Anonymous in Alone on May 12th, 2010 | 6 commentsI lost my daughter to turners syndrome at the age of 18 while i was 6 months pregnant with her. she died in my tummy and i had to deliver her and push her out like she was an alive baby. it was the hardest thing i have ever done. its almost been a year and i still cry everyday. I had another daughter before her who is my world. I love her to death. she is what keeps me going during the day.
but some days i feel like crashing my car when i am alone driving just to see if i will live or die.
I even wanna close my eyes and drive just to see what would happen.
i constantly tell my boyfriend im going to kill myself just to get his attention. even though i never would. I could never leave my daughter and if i were to kill myself id never meet my other daughter who is in heaven.
i feel as if i am a lost soul and i don’t want my daughter growing up knowing her mom isnt the best mom she could be because she could never really get over her sisters death.
how can i come to peace with losing my daughter?
6 Responses to “ “Turner’s syndrome”
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I lost my son to an un-known illness 13 days into his life. The doctors never figured out what happened. To this day I still read the autopsy report and marvel at the fact that the doctors who wrote the report up have written it to sound like even they were baffled. The best advice I can give you is to just remain strong and keep living for the child you still have and live your life to the fullest in honor of the child you lost. There is never any way to deal with loosing a child; you just have to keep on going on. I wish I could tell you there was an easier way, but if there is I havent found it yet.
i cant imagine going thru what you went thru. im so sorry, my heart grieves for you. i havent experienced what you have but i have gone thru significant traumas in my life (child abuse and incest, repressed for many years) if it wasnt for therapy, i dont know how i would get by. one on one therapy, support groups, anything where you can process what youve been thru will help you eventually be able to move on. find someone who specializes in grief therapy. i understand the suicide ideation you have, i have it too. good luck to you & Gods blessings
Awww, I’m so sorry, thats terrible.:( I can’t imagine how much pain you must be feeling. Worst of all you still had to give birth to her, that must have been heart breaking. But I’m sure shes in a better place. I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope you stay strong for your boyfriend, and daughter. I hope you find happiness. Good luck. <3
IN fact I just researched it online its genetic, you had NO CONTROL over what happened. At least know you did nothing wrong.
I agree, sometimes these things happen, even when their is good prenatal care, their can still be complications. I’m sorry, good luck. God bless. :) <3
Thank you all for your kind words..Things have gotten better..it all now feels like a bad dream or something in my past. I feel I am a better mother to my daughter now. Their father left me and i was more depressed but now I can honestly say I am happy and doing good on my own with only my daughter in my mind and both daughters in my heart<3