tip of an iceberg.
Posted by ILiveInAustin in Alone on Mar 10th, 2008 | 2 commentsSo many people claim that they admire me because I’m “so smart”
because I’m “so independent”
because I’m “so strong”
I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of having to do everything for myself. I’ve just turned 22… and I’ve already been on my own for 5 years. I lost my mother about a year and a half ago and I still haven’t let myself grieve about it because I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll finally break and there will be no one around to pick up the pieces. I want someone to save me. Is that so bad?
If it’s not… then why is it so hard for me to admit it?
And why can’t I stop feeling so lacking inside?
Then I feel guilty for allowing myself to express how I feel. I know I have no right to complain when there are so many other people who have it worse.
And if one more person tells me that all I need to do is pray… I’ll ******* scream.
2 Responses to “ “tip of an iceberg.”
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Hang on in there! It’s hard to be weak in front of everybody especially when you are labeled this someone independent, strong and smart. they see you this because that’s what you show and be proud that a lot of people admire for a girl like you. i am a 23-year-old girl and after reading this i’m inspired to become one just like you. so don’t get helpless because of this. be proud! people will learn a lot because of you. :)
i am sorry for what happened to your mother. i know it’s sad to lose someone important in your life as early in your 20′s. you’re trying to be this strong so nobody would see the weak side of you. but because you are fed up by being strong, you wanted to show a little weaker side of you… like crying or messing up with something just for once. you want someone to hold you just like what your mother did to you or whom you confide from your problems…
it’s okay. it’s alright to cry. people fed up sometimes and it’s alright to show emotion… it’s alright to relfect….. it’s okay…. you don’t need the negative energy in you stuck inside your heart because it feels weary doesn’t it?
i think all you need is someone who sees the strong and weak side of you… the one whom you can be comfortable to tell anyone what you want… your dreams…. your life… your fears! it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them…. :)
Don’t feel guilty, it’s natural. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on occasionally. If you need to vent then vent, its more destructive to keep it inside.