Parts, But Not of a Whole
Posted by Acting is Easy in Alone on Feb 12th, 2011 | 3 commentsI have different a different persona for nearly every situation. I adjust myself to however most fits the specifics of the moods of people, the environment we’re in, who is there, etc. It is never quite the same as another time, so I’m always a tad bit different. I act however best helps me, whether it be to gain favor with someone, or advance in some way, without arousing suspicion in my companions.
Different groups of friends, different characters. Hyper, chill, deep, ditzy, laid-back, angry, combinations upon combinations- all mask I wear. But they are not so completely fake as a mask. Yes, they are an act. But they are also part of my personality, in some way.
On the internet, sometimes I’ll create multiple accounts on the same site. I’ll give each one a unique “voice” -”Bill and Ted” esque teen, movie buff, Australian movie buff, emotional Spaniard, well-educated man, compassionate woman, idiot, emotionless, heartfelt- it goes on and on. I can tweak them and play them perfectly, even altering my syntax and rhythm in addition to grammar and word choice. Sometimes, whether to develop a character, redirect the thought process of other posters, or redefine an obscure reference/question/statement, I’ll have the characters interact.
There are so many different “me”s. When I get bored of one, I discard it and move on. It gets a bit hairy when the different groups overlap, but I can maintain a balance between the charades well enough to uphold the perceived identity for each.
I don’t feel like one person with a bunch of people inside me, or whatever the multiple personality disorder people do. I simply show different aspects of myself, tagged with some acting, to portray a persona most useful in the situation/group, or for my purpose.
3 Responses to “ “Parts, But Not of a Whole”
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doesnt that get tiring? i feel like you need to step out of all your persons, and ask yourself do you really wanna keep living like this? talk to someone. you need to find your one self because all of that can be one person, you. people will accept you for you.
Good for you for being honest about it. (Ironic as that is.) A lot of people do this to some degree. A lot of people deep down do not really want the truth but want to hear what they want to hear.
For a long time I did that, too, without even realizing it fully. Then, it all came crashing down in a midlife crisis (for lack of a better phrase) when I hit 35. I felt like the floor opened up under me and I never knew who I really was. I felt like had been starving for decades. I felt like I had to claw my way through a giant pile of other people’s expectations.
I’m not saying that will happen to you, just that for some people it is not sustainable long-term. There may be a self in there somewhere that will someday not be able to stand it anymore, and it is liberating to break out of that but godawful at first.
Yep. It all sounds like a more hyped up version of the usual dance. You just sound like a Person that likes to label and categorize, that is adaptable/changeable, smart, quick, possibly gets bored easily so entertains themselves a little by getting so elaborate.. Who Maybe enjoys the acting and could try acting classes to amuse and as an outlet odmf expression?
Or if you dont like it and it’s taking its toll, your going to have to cutting ut back to something a little closer to the truth :P